Mindful Monday: Self-Talk

6

mm5

This week’s Mindful Monday post is written by Natalie Bodenhamer of HelloDayBlog. I had the pleasure of meeting Natalie earlier this year (in a Trader Joe’s parking lot, of all places), and was really drawn to her energy and spirit. I love Natalie’s take on self-talk – it’s a BIG challenge for me, and I found myself wanting to fist-bump her while reading this post. Thanks, Natalie!

We all talk to ourselves – it’s not just for the crazies. Whether it’s a pep talk before an interview or humorous chitchat while in line at the grocery store, we constantly find ourselves engaged in self-talk.

One of my favorite self-talkers of all time is Bob Wiley (Bill Murray) in the movie, What About Bob.

Baby steps, get on the elevator. Baby steps, get on the bus. I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful! Is this corn hand-shucked? I’m sailing!

The lovable schizophrenic talks himself all the way to the mast of a sailboat, for goodness sakes. It gets me every time.

Self-talk is powerful. Yet, our thoughts fall on a spectrum – from honoring to destructive. The voice we hear can be a source of motivation and strength or, on our worse days, drive us to hopelessness and despair. While I would love to hear, “go get ‘em, girl”, sometimes I get, “never gonna happen, sister”. It’s not always positive. At times it sounds down right hopeless and mean.

If we simply listen to ourselves, we miss an incredible opportunity to shape our internal talk. With focus and care, we have the power to influence our internal voice.

• Pay attention. In the midst of wrangling kids, juggling a career and trying to be a good friend, it’s not easy to pay attention to our thoughts. Set your focus and be mindful of your own thoughts. Is there a common tone? When you listen, do you feel optimistic and empowered? Only after listening carefully can you really engage in a meaningful internal conversation.

• Be in a community. Assessing your own thoughts can be confusing as hell. The more tricky or dark the messages, the more valuable it becomes to address them aloud with close and trusted friends/family. It’s amazing what one conversation with a loved one can do to provide prospective and help reframe your thoughts. Before jumping right into such a conversation, I say something like, “I would like your input as I work through x.” Or, “Would you mind talking a few ideas through with me?” And if a certain thought seems alarming to share, I remind the special friend/husband that it isn’t a truth I believe, but rather a feeling I want to evaluate more closely with their help.

• Don’t be afraid to call Bullshit. Some of the messages we send ourselves simply aren’t true. Some are destructive. It’s important to listen, assess and either validate or call bullshit.

• Most negative thoughts are rooted in comparison. When confronted with negative messages, start by asking – “Is this thought related to my own or someone else’s comparison of me to someone/something?” If the answer is “yes”, then, “bullshit” is your response. Capisce?

• Put it in writing. If there’s something that I need to hear regularly, I write it down and stick it in plain view. My bathroom mirror & kitchen backsplash are popular spots for me. I encourage you to be bold in this – during a particularly tough time for me I had the words, “remember, you like a challenge” on my bathroom mirror. At first I worried what our babysitter would think if she saw it, so I hesitated. But, quickly realized using the card as a bookmark on my bed stand was getting me nowhere. So, on the mirror it went.

• Get moving. Moving the body triggers movement in the mind as well. When I exercise or go for a walk or run, something special happens. I’m more aware of my thoughts, feelings and sensations. It’s a great time to make progress with troublesome thoughts. And if the vibe is right, I will even have the conversation aloud. You know, just to mix it up.

• Be kind to yourself. I’m not talking about empty, positive, kumbaya bologna. No, be honest and without spin. But, do yourself a favor and choose a glass-half-full perspective. And, every bullshit thought encountered must be met with a response rooted in reality, hope and love.

Being known in a community of friends and family is the most important component for me to maintain a positive internal conversation. Those relationships are a source of truth, love and support and remind me of my value and purpose. There’s no book I could read or podcast I could listen to that would replace the value of hearing a dear friend say how much they love me.

So, if I notice my internal conversation taking a negative turn, my first step is to spend time with a friend. Because, they remind me of the hope, joy and excitement I have for this adventure called life.

How do you proactively influence your internal conversations?



COMMENTS (5)

Selfie Shenanigans

8

I am a member of the Invisalign Advisory Board, and am receiving complimentary treatment. All opinions are fully my own. 

selfie5

Okay, that’s a lot of photos of my mug in one image. SELFIE OVEREXPOSURE. My apologies.

September is Self-Improvement Month, and I’m on a mission. I’m practicing yoga 3-4 times a week, eating well (despite moving to the land of fast food and big ass portions), and working on keeping a positive mindset despite the barrage of challenges this summer has presented. GO GO GADGET POSITIVE ATTITUDE.

I know a lot of you are taking steps to feel better about yourself because I witness it firsthand on Instagram via your photos, specifically your selfies. Listen, I’m a big fan of selfies. Why do they get such a bad rap? I love seeing YOUR selfies. Love it. I think it’s great to document where you are physically, emotionally, and mentally through a photo of your mug. (Now, I do think there is a fine line between Hey, It’s Me, What’s Up and Excessive Selfie Mode. If my Instagram feed looked similar to the above image, I would personally need to re-evaluate the sitch. I like to keep my Instagram photo feed about 15% selfie and 85% everything else.)

I’m by no means a Selfie master, but I do have a few rules. I shoot from my best angle (I’m certainly not symmetrical), find a good source of light, make sure the background is uncluttered, and frame it up/crop it to keep it visually interesting.

However, here are some tips from the masters:

How To Take a Selfie Like a Supermodel – So, um, okay – actual supermodels who look ridiculously gorgeous 24/7 are interviewed here…but still, good tips!

Five Tips To Becoming More Photogenic – Emily always has the best advice on looking your best and dressing the part.

How to Take a Good Selfie – Karen’s selfies are GORGEOUS. Love her tips.

One thing I’ve noticed in my selfies (and many others) is a closed-mouth smile. Why is that? (Could it be that I watched too many America’s Top Model epsiodes? Look at me! I’m SMIZING.) Since I’m in the home stretch of my Invisalign treatment, I think a wide, toothy smile should be busted out in the very near future. I mean, I need to celebrate this (almost-straight) grill.

Interested in straightening your teeth with Invisalign? Visit Invisalign’s doctor locator or check out the smile assessment. It’s been such a great experience for me!

invisalignmab



COMMENTS (8)

Mala Beads for Little Ones

3

Just a few days before we left California for Oklahoma, I received a little brown package that couldn’t have arrived at a better time. Inside were two malas for Whoorlito and Whoorlita – the kindest gesture from the folks at Mala Collective to help them with their big transition.

mala2

The kids are familiar with malas – they see me wear mine and occasionally pop in when I’m meditating with the beads, so they were pretty excited to have beads of their own. When I told Wita that her mala was called the Peaceful Hearts Mala, with rose quartz being the stone of love, she was thrilled.

(Three weeks later, she declared herself smitten with her new “boyfriend” in Pre-K. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.)

((Um, boyfriend? Can we briefly talk about the fact that we were sitting in the kitchen having breakfast last week when she matter-of-factly stated, “Mom, I think I have to break up with Andrew….I’m just too young to get married.” Discuss.))

(((She’s four.)))

((((And who is Andrew?))))

(((((Hold me closer, Tony Danza.)))))

Wito’s mala is the Onolicious mala – which signifies never giving up – to always get back up and try again. He’s down with that, except he much prefers to wear it around his wrist or just rub it between his fingers. We actually use “fidgets” as an outlet for the energy that loves to make its way out of Wito’s body via his hands, and feeling the beads one-by-one between his fingers is a great way to channel that extra energy in a subdued manner. Rubbing the beads is also a great way to keep him grounded, since he is his mama’s son.

mala1

I mean, are they zenned out here or what? You can check out the entire kids collection here. Thank you, Mala Collective!



COMMENTS (3)

We are Nomads Armed With Chia Pouches

99

This post is sponsored by Mamma Chia. Thanks for supporting this site!

Between moving, the housing fiasco, kids starting school, and acclimating to a new city, my family has essentially become nomadic. We are ALWAYS in the car – driving to school, racing to an appointment, getting lost (this city is not how I remembered!), or on the way to meet up with family and friends. (Also, let’s be honest, we aren’t that pumped about spending time on top of each other in our current living situation.)

I’ve become Queen of Snacks over the past few weeks (let’s be honest, aren’t all moms designated with this title?), but since I’m in the car all the livelong day and my children devour snacks with no regard to their surrounding environment, I’ve nixed the messier ones. Mamma Chia to the rescue!

chia2

These are the contents of my purse minus 8,230 receipts that I removed for the sake of prettiness. My wallet, my phone, my Invisalign bag, a small pouch of my must-have essential oils, lippies and lotion, and mah chia pouches.

Awwww yeahhhh, mama loves herself some chia seeds, and now I’ve got my entire family on the bandwagon, thanks to these yummy pouches. The organic Chia Squeezes are damn tasty, and my kids love them. Not to mention that we get half the recommended amount of brain-boosting Omega-3s (1200 mg) in a serving. I’ve tried several different types of fish oil supplements with my kids to no avail, so I can’t tell you how pumped I am that they love these. Plus, these pouches are perfect for school lunches!

Also, I have to say – I really love Mamma Chia’s founder Janie Hoffman’s personal story. She is passionate about what chia seeds have done for her in regards to her battle with longstanding autoimmune disorders. Once she incorporated chia into her daily diet, there was a very noticeable increase in her vitality, energy and strength.

Another favorite? The Mamma Chia Vitality Beverages that contain organic chia seeds infused with organic fruit juice. Perfect for pre and post workouts, they have tons of fiber and protein. These are yummy as well, but the pouches are the true apple of my eye. (Speaking of, the Apple Cinnamon pouch is a Whoorl family favorite.)

chia1

Have you tried them? I think you should – so it’s giveaway time! The lovely folks at Mamma Chia are giving away a great gift pack of chia goodness to one lucky winner:

· One week’s worth of Chia Squeezes (7)
· One week’s worth of beverage vouchers (7)
· The Chia Cookbook from Janie Hoffman
· Mamma Chia Camelbak water bottle

Enter below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

p.s. – If you are a Chia lover like yours truly, the cookbook by Janie Hoffman included in the giveaway is available in stores at the end of September. Enjoy!



COMMENTS (99)