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The Floaties of Yesteryear

May 23, 2008May 23, 2008 by whoorl

We’ve made a last-minute decision to spend our Memorial Day weekend in Palm Springs, which means one glorious thing. POOL TIME. I can’t fully express the excitement I am feeling about spending the next three days lying by a pool, but it’s safe to say I’ve broken out the African Anteater Ritual a couple of times this morning.

Pools are hard to come by in a beach community, mainly due to the fact that there is this large mass of water called an “ocean” within walking distance. The ocean. Yes, it’s beautiful and serene and what not, but it’s also a pain in the ass. Just the beach packing ritual alone is enough to make me talk in tongues, not to mention the damp sand that Wito enjoys eating by the fistful. I have sand issues. I admit it.

But, pools! POOLS! Backyard pools beckon you with promises of instant access to a bathroom! A nearby refrigerator filled with snacks! No sand! A towel and sunblock is all you need, my friends.

In a nutshell, the pool is spontaneous and easy to enjoy. The beach causes certain people to lose their shit in an alley.

This morning, I made a quick (ha!) trip (ha!) to Target (ha!) to purchase some sort of flotation device for Wito. Now, in a typical Whoorl Planning Situation, I would have conducted the proper research in a timely fashion, but as you see, we are leaving in less than 24 hours and Target was my best option.

After spending 45 minutes in Aisle 26, I came to an enlightening conclusion. Parents only have two options when it comes to toddler pool safety.

1. Toddler experiences hours of pool fun, but is forced to wear a contraption that looks like Dora the Explorer puked all over it.

2. Toddler is quarantined in an oversized Pack-n-Play thirty yards from the pool because the parents refuse to dress him in a Cookie Monster Wears Hawaiian Shirts And Eats Coconuts life jacket.

What happened to the plain yellow floaties we wore as kids? Oh yeah, that’s right, they now cause cancer, early stimulation of estrogen receptors, a huge lisp, etc.

Oh, and the whole Swim Level thing? I spent upwards of 20 minutes reading the backs of multi-colored packages about all of the Very Important Swim Stages. Is Wito a 1? 2? A? C439?

Listen, I just want my child to maintain a proper level of oxygen in his lungs for the next three days, but of course, I caved and bought a couple of options. I couldn’t help it, I was having trouble reading the fine print due to my acute blindness from the heinous patterns everywhere.

FYI – I am leaning towards the Swim Sweater. (3 Million Sold! 3 Milliones vendidas! 3 Millions vendus! More like, HOW COULD YOU GO WRONG, IDIOT PARENT?)

My Top Tools Now

May 20, 2008May 17, 2012 by whoorl

1. Hot Tools Ceramic Curling Iron – I have the 1-inch model and it works perfectly on my long hair. The size of the ringlets look like this.

2. HAI Ceramic Flat Iron – Heats up to 400 degrees in about 10 seconds. HUZZAH.

3. Mason Pearson Brush – Nylon and bristle, junior size. Brusha brusha brusha, shiny shiny shiny.

4. Revlon Hair Dryer – I usually let my hair air-dry, so I might not be the go-to source on dryers, but this one gets the job done. (And it’s inexpensive. Score.)

5. Medicis Paris Round Brush – The good news? This is the best round brush I have ever owned. It doesn’t pull the hair and the boar bristles don’t cause the slightest bit of static. The bad news? I can’t remember where I purchased it and can’t seem to find it ANYWHERE. Help.

Any tools you absolutely love?

Mother’s Day

May 12, 2008July 3, 2015 by whoorl

Yesterday was my greatest Mother’s Day yet.

(Is it wrong that I can’t make a statement like that without conjuring up a mental image of Chris Harrison? Stay tuned for Whoorl’s Greatest, Most Romantic Mother’s Day Yet! Don’t go anywhere! You do not want to miss The Most Dramatic Holiday Of The Year!)

(Is it even worse that I am STILL watching The Bachelor? Who’s it going to be? Shayne? The other chick? WHO?)

Now, technically (if pregnancy counts), I’ve only had two of these holidays under my belt, so I don’t have a lot to go by. BUT, c’mon people. Wito walked into the kitchen holding a homemade card, actually handed it to me and exclaimed, “Happy Birthday, Mommy!” (A+ for effort.)

You have to admit, CUTE. Precious, even! The Most Precious Mother’s Day Yet!

What an incredibly crazy week. As I mentioned, Nightline was at my home most of the afternoon on Monday, which was nerve-wracking and surreal in itself. Add in a toddler with a 103 degree fever and no babysitter, and watch Whoorl spontaneously combust!

When working out the details, I planned to film the segment over Wito’s naptime, with Brenda and Bug on call just in case he woke up. Obviously, as Monday morning approached, that plan went to the dogs, since I didn’t want to expose Bug to Wito’s mystery high fever from hell with no symptoms except half-mast eyelids and noodle limbs. So, I figured I would just have to make it work and pray he didn’t wake up. (These are the times when I am SO NOT COOL with the fact that I live thousands of miles away from my family.)

The producers were amazing, patient and so accommodating. Even mid-sentence during the interview, when high-pitched wails from the back of the house suddenly permeated the entire area. Um, about that nap. The producers kindly stopped filming, I ran to the back, tried my best to sooth, ran back to the living room, adjusted my hair and lip gloss (NARS Foul Play, if you must know. The Most Perfect Nude Gloss Yet!) and tried remember what in the hell I was blathering about. Lather, rinse, repeat.

After ten minutes of back and forth, I accepted defeat, called D from the back room, forcibly mumbling, “For the love of sweet jebus get your ass home I can’t do this on my own ABC is in my living room holy hell I’m going to die right here and OMG HELP WITO IS DELUSIONAL.” Luckily, he was home within ten minutes, and all was well. (I will let you all know the airdate as soon as I find out.)

So, this has been an increasingly long-winded way of telling you that Wito has been a sick kid all week with Roseola.

Roseola: The Mysterious Asshat Virus.

What is Roseola? Well, it’s a virus that causes a high fever for four days with absolutely no symptoms (besides the feverish hell), until the fifth day when an awesome red rash breaks out all over your child’s body. (Oh, and no matter what your doctor says, it DOES ITCH.) The good news is that once you get it, you’ll never deal with it again. The bad news is that your little one looks like this:

Wito: Homo Sapiens Palmes Larges

However, as Mother’s Day weekend commenced, the clouds parted, the angels sang, the rash disappeared, and Voilá! Happy, healthy boy!

See me in fever-free motion! p.s. – Get the hell out of my way.

Oh! How could I forget The Most Romantic Mother’s Day Gift Yet? Now, D and I normally don’t spend much on gifts, but he surprised me with the PERFECT necklace.

The Most Beautiful Necklace Yet!

(I took it too far, didn’t I? I’m stopping.)

I finished the day with a couple Sierra Nevada Pale Ales, Kung Pao chicken and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. All in all, a great day.

How was your Mother’s Day? Good food? Great gifts? Do tell!

Rock Chalk

April 8, 2008July 3, 2015 by whoorl

I live in an area where people could care less about collegiate sports, which is a tad frustrating for a die hard like me. Why, just over the past couple of days, several people have asked if some sort of “basketball tournament thingy” was going on.

Seriously, people? YOU KILL ME.

Whatever. People have different interests, hobbies, blahdeedah.

However, if you aren’t even remotely enthused by this unbelievable last-second shot (which led to overtime), well, you just don’t have a soul.

Congratulations to my alma mater, the University of Kansas, winners of the 2008 NCAA Basketball Championship.

(Mario, call me.)

Wait! I hear you grumbling…some of you STILL don’t care. Fine. Try to deny this cuteness.

Beak ’em Hawks! from whoorl on Vimeo.

Beak ’em Hawks! ROCK CHALK.

Updates – Part Six

April 4, 2008May 17, 2012 by whoorl

To all the requested participants from the past month, I will get the questionnaires to you shortly. Thanks for your patience.

Now, on with the updates! Remember Ashley?

Ashley was spending way too much time flat-ironing her hair when in fact, she had a naturally lovely wave pattern. I suggested she ditch the flat iron on most days, cut some layers and sideswept bangs, and embrace her naturally wavy hair.

Tada!

Look at that naturally gorgeous hair. Let this be a lesson to all of you wavy gals out there- Ashley was spending all sorts of time trying to alter her natural style, when in essence, her wavy hair is beautiful! And the best part? This style takes virtually NO time to create.

I’ll just let Ashley tell you.

“I just have to tell you again – THANK YOU! Seriously, every time anyone sees me with my new hair compliments me. Even this lady at the coffee shop I see everyday (but we never say more than hello to each other!) came up to me and asked me what I did with my hair. And told me she loved it.

Thanks for encouraging me to go au natural. AWESOME.”

(I just love these testimonials. They make me feel like I should be on QVC.)

Next up – Kristin:

Kristin wanted an update and 56% of you chose Option #1.

Heeeeerrrrrre’s Kristin!

Cutting the length off really freshened up Kristin’s look, didn’t it? She mentioned her bangs were a little too short, and I would agree, but (as we gals with bangs know) they should be perfect in a few weeks. The cut really emphasizes her beautiful face.

Remember Amanda?

Amanda wanted to know if she should cut bangs, which 83% of you said YES.

Not only did she add sideswept bangs, but added layers around her face and shortened the length. Doesn’t she look awesome? I’m LOVING this cut on her.

And last but certainly not least, Bryanna.

Her options were:

Bryanna cut a few inches off the bottom, kept her golden highlights and looks amazing. She used the whoorl curling technique to soften the curl (like Option #2), which she mentioned was a “subtle difference in method, but a completely different curl”.

At my Hair Thursday request, Bryanna also broke out the flat iron for an additional look.

So sleek and GORGEOUS.

Bravo, ladies! Bravo!

Oh, wait! One last chica! Miss Metalia:

However, Metalia did not follow my first suggestions.

She did, however go for the Nicole Richie bob:

What? No curly blue bob? Shiny orange mullet? People can be so PICKY. GAH.

Looks fabulous, mah dear!

hair thursday makeover 26

March 20, 2008October 25, 2011 by whoorl

Meet Manda. She’s considering bangs.

Manda’s hair:

Naturally light ash brown with blonde highlights. Doesn’t want to dye her hair.
Healthy, thick and super straight
Wants long hair, is considering bangs but forehead has a tendency to get really oily
Likes ponytails
Is a sucker for cheap haircuts and wants to step it up

Manda would be a perfect candidate for the type of sideswept bangs shown in the photos below.

Since Manda has oily skin, I definitely would not recommend bluntly-cut or piecey bangs that hang forward on her forehead, but sideswept bangs that blend into the sides of her hair would give her a fresh look without the worry of “greasy-looking” hair.

Plus, sideswept bangs are a breeze to grow out. If Manda tires of the look, the bangs will look like face-framing layers as they grow (similar to the layers she already has). Might I mention how cute she would look with ponytail bangs?

Next up is Tracy:

Tracy’s hair:

Naturally medium brown and doesn’t want color
Straight, thick yet fine-textured and very oily
Open to different lengths
Uses a styling cream daily
Isn’t really happy with her stylist

Take a look at these options:

Tracy would really benefit from reducing the heaviness in her hair, as she is slightly approaching the dreaded triangle. A little more volume at her roots and crown would make the biggest difference in the overall shape of her hair. Both of these options would give Tracy’s hair so much more movement.

Option #1 is a simple, versatile style with layers around the front to add shape and keep the overall shape light and airy. I also think the collarbone length would complement Tracy’s features.

Option #2 is full of body and texture, thanks to the medium length layers cut throughout, as well as razored ends which eliminate any bulkiness. Also, she has some very minimal piecey bangs that easily could be blended into the hair.

What do you think?

Okay, let’s chat about stylists for a second.

I know all too well about dealing with mediocre stylists, having moved around several states in the past ten years.

Here’s the deal, if you aren’t happy with your stylist, DON’T GO BACK. Sure, they might wonder why you’ve disappeared, but who cares? This is your hair- the hair you have to look at every day of your life. You aren’t paying them to make your hair look decent, you are paying them to make you look and feel fantastic. When the time comes, you don’t need to “break up” with them, discuss the situation, etc. Just don’t make another appointment. End of Story.

Since moving to California, I’ve seen three stylists. The first was a recommendation (she sucked), the second was the result of tons of internet research (she sucked), and the third is my current stylist who I absolutely adore. How did I find her? I walked right up to a random stranger with amazing hair and asked who her stylist was. She gave me her number and that was that.

This is the best way to find a stylist. You see, talking about stylists on the internet is a tricky thing. Someone might think their stylist is the best ever, but their idea of a great stylist could be completely different than yours. (For instance, they might fully enjoy permed 80’s hair. You, however, might be interested in something less model-doing-the-splits-on-a-Jaguar in Whitesnake’s Here I Go Again video. Just an example.)

You need to see the merchandise for yourself, you know? Look around, check out hairstyles while running errands, having cocktails, eating out, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask! You aren’t going to offend anyone by paying them a great compliment, right? And if you love your stylist, carry some cards in your purse. When people ask about my hair, I just whip out her card. Easy as cheese.

Now, go forth and seek out great hair!