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A Weekend In Boston – Observations

by whoorl

1. Warm, sunny weather is my life force.

2. A trench coat is not a coat.

3. People stare. At the airport, walking down Newbury Street, running errands, everywhere. (Booger? Spinach in the teeth?) While having lunch at Zaftigs, the woman seated next to us literally turned her chair towards us and stared the entire meal, completely ignoring her lunch companion. I’m going to hold a seminar on my next visit entitled, Quick Sideways Glance: learn it, live it, love it.

4. I met the lovely Miguelina for coffee. What is the DEAL with all of the East Coast soul sistahs I’ve encountered? Why aren’t these types of women living in Orange County? (Wait. Don’t answer that.)

5. I couldn’t help but pretend I was Ali McGraw while visiting my brother-in-law’s school. Of course, my superstition got the best of me and stopped thinking that, because um, she DIES in that movie.

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6. The stoplights in Boston must not employ sensors, but use timers lengthy enough to allow drivers to take a quick snooze (and possibly prepare an omelet) before getting the green light.

7. Strong headwinds will make your flight home quite lengthy. As in, Very. Long. (6 1/2 hours, to be exact.)

8. While watching BBC on said flight, I encountered a show where a dietitian actually trifles through people’s poop. In tupperware. A family of four stood around while this woman dissected their poop IN FRONT OF THEM. This has crossed some sort of television-viewing boundary, and yet, I am intrigued.

9. Fresh baby head smells really good. Yet, not good enough to persuade me to have another baby right now.

10. I will enjoy the beach today with renewed fervor. Flip flops! Sand in my toes! Warm sun on my face! YES YES YES!

Boston, you and I will meet again, my bipolar friend. Preferably in the spring.

This Is Going To Be A Problem

by whoorl

Hello! I came this close to flashing my nether regions to my neighbors this morning!

I also went grocery shopping! Without my wallet! This unfortunate fact became crystal clear while standing in the checkout line. Did I mention it was 5pm? Clearly not the best time to interact with the masses while wrangling a toddler, since most early evening grocery shoppers HATE BABIES.

Let’s drink. And eat candy.

I’m forming a bad habit. A habit that involves Haribo Gummi Bears, which frankly, is surprising, given the lack of candy around our house.

You see, D hates candy. He loves chocolate, but the sugary Willy Wonka-type stuff makes him quite surly. In fact, I have a theory that he’s suppressed some horrible, nightmarish memory involving candy from his childhood. I mean, he’s just so WEIRD about it, all up in my face, “Did you BUY those Lemonheads? Huh? How did THAT happen?”

Freak.

During a parental visit several years ago, we happened upon a fantastic candy shop. Of course, MY family (owners of the infamous candy drawer) started salivating like dogs at the thought of salt water taffy, imported black licorice (blech, but my dad loves it) and old school delights. As we sprinted towards the candy baskets, D stood outside the entrance looking like he had just smelled a vicious fart. I asked him what his deal was, and he responded, “I think I’ll just wait out here. I mean, it’s CANDY.” (insert judgemental snobbery)

LIKE ENTERING THE CANDY SHOP WAS SO BENEATH HIM. He stood outside the entire time. (Probably checking out his reflection in the candy shop window.)

Sometimes, I wonder about my mental faculties on the day I accepted his marriage proposal.

However, I must admit, I think he’s on to something. Whenever I eat candy, I always feel like shit afterwards- my stomach cramps, my head aches, etc. So, we just don’t buy it. The end.

Well, as I was perusing the aisles of Target a couple of weeks ago, I notice some Haribo Gummi Bears beckoning me from afar. I figured what the hell, threw them in the cart, and brought those puppies home with me.

Somehow, these Gummi Bears have become candied encouragement while practicing my guitar. (Did I mention I am taking classical guitar lessons? And that it’s killing me slowly? Yet, I CAN’T QUIT YOU, RAMÓN.) Every time I screw up (which is A LOT OF THE TIME), I pop one in my mouth and carry on like a wayward son.

My whole point is this:

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My tummy hurts. Send help.

Barracuda Blowout

by whoorl

Seriously, Barracuda is my new anthem. Within 1.24 seconds of opening my eyes this morning, there it was.

BumbadadumbadadumbadadumbadadumBABUMBUM….

I hopped out of bed, showered, and proceeded to blow my hair straight for the first time since last year. (On a RAINY DAY, no less.) Turns out, it’s not so 70’s rocker when I blow it straight.

Suddenly I morphed into Simon Cowell, brazenly critiquing my hair for playing it too safe. I mean, COME ON, are you going to bring it OR NOT?! At least the Ann Wilson has some originality!

Whatevs.

All in all, I’m pleased- it’s like the best of both worlds. Meeting with world dignitaries? I think I would go with the blowout. A normal day at the beach followed by margaritas? Totally rocking the Ann.

And the world is right again.

hair thursday makeover 22

by whoorl

When I received a Hair Thursday request from my internet soul sister, I must admit to dramatically rolling my eyes alllllll the way to the very back of my eye sockets. C’mon. That hair needs help? The same hair that finally pushed me over the edge into bang territory?

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Please.

However, I took a step back and reminded myself that even the luckiest bitches (with the SHINIEST HAIR EVER) get tired of their style once in awhile. So, in one of our 26 daily email conversations about lip gloss, I asked Metalia what she was looking for in a hairstyle, to which she replied, “I’m ready for a big change”.

That puts me in a pickle.

Did I mention that Metalia’s pregnant? That she’s getting ready to embark on baby #2 with a toddler thrown in for good measure?

Metalia, I adore you more than Haribo gummi bears, but I just CAN’T advocate a big change right now. First off, you need length for the all-important ponytails! Remember the nights of no sleep? SWEET JEBUS, YOU NEED THE PONYTAIL. (Plus, you possess the best ponytail bangs around. See above.) But most importantly, what about the hormones? I won’t be able to live with myself if you pull a Britney in the wee hours of the morning. Blood on my hands, man.

My official position is that Metalia needs to trim her hair a couple of inches, enjoy the hair vitality that comes with being preggers and we’ll revisit her big change when her precious baby is sleeping through the night.

In the meantime, here are some “big changes” to tide her over.

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(Might I say that she ROCKS the Hillary Clinton style.)

Okay, okay. All kidding aside, this would be a great look.

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Photo courtesy of people.com/Evan Agostini.

An Apology

by whoorl

To the people of Orange County wearing brightly colored ensembles, I apologize if you were recently accosted by a gigantic 18-month-old screaming out the color of your outfit with the intensity of a roid-raging WWF wrestler.

I apologize that yelling “YELLLOOWWWWWW! PUH-PUHHH!” once or twice didn’t satisfy said red-faced toddler, thus prompting him to repeatedly scream, “GWEEEEEEEEEEN! WHHHHYYYYY-TUH! WHHHHHYYY-TUH!” until you were forced to run away, clutching your belongings.

I also apologize if you happened to be wearing an athletic jersey or any kind of fashion displaying letters and/or numbers.

My child, as you will see here, is intensely passionate about his new skills.


Letters from whoorl on Vimeo.

Some video points of interest:

1. This is a short snippet of our original 72-hour video of Wito recognizing letters. He never stops with the game, PLEASE HELP ME. In fact, the only thing that trumps this new game is going to the sandbox and pouring a bucket full of sand in his mouth.

2. I sound like Bill Clinton when I say “R” after Wito does.

3. Wito has waved his arms in excitement just like that since the day he was born.

4. When we say bye-bye, have you ever seen a child look so concerned? YOU MEAN NO MORE LETTER GUESSING? WHAT WILL I DO? I CAN’T POSSIBLY GO ON!

5. And yes, I always dress my child like a little elf with mango pants.

Neilochka’s Great Interview Experiment

by whoorl

As part of Neil’s Interview Experiment (have you not signed up yet? Do it!), I was super lucky to be interviewed by the very funny Shash of Diary of a Crazed Mommy.

1. I read on your blog that your husband is an interior designer. Is your home like a spread in Elle Home or is your home more relaxed and lived in? Do you have any say in your decor, or does Wito really have the last word?

I think our home has all of the elements you mentioned. D is such a talented designer, and I really look forward to entertaining guests in our home. On the other hand, he’s a collector of many (OHMYGODSOMANY) things, which can present quite a challenge given we live in an area where space is a very precious commodity.

One thing I am really proud of is that our house hasn’t turned into a den of kiddie crap. Everything that Wito plays with can be tucked away out of sight from visitors, although keeping it that way is a constant adventure on my part. CONSTANT.

Overall, D thinks the home is our personal space, but I was granted a few shots for those who are interested.

2. I notice you live near a beach. Can you give us a general location of where you are and what the best thing for you is about living so close to a beach?

I live in coastal Orange County. I love living within walking distance of the beach- whenever Wito gets antsy, we pack up the stroller, head out the door and within ten minutes we’re making sand castles and playing in the waves. The ocean is good for mama’s soul.

3. Where did you grow up? What is your favorite grade school memory?

I grew up in Oklahoma and have fond memories of playing kick the can with all the neighborhood kids at sunset.

4. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be and who would you go with? What would you do while there?

I would travel to Italy (specifically Florence), mainly because I studied the language in college and was mildly obsessed at the time. It’s pretty depressing that I gave fluent presentations in Italian throughout my last year in college and now can’t remember a damn thing. Do you think it would all come back to me if I visited?

My dream travel situation would be with D, Wito, my parents and Lala’s family. That way, we could experience the sights, the food and the culture together. (Plus, I would have built-in babysitters. Let’s be honest.)

5. I have been following you on Twitter. You seem to have quite an obsession with Blues Clues. Care to elaborate? Who’s a better caretaker of Blue, Steve or Joe?

Ha! Actually, I had never seen Blue’s Clues until last week when I checked out a channel that SAJ had told me about. I watched two episodes with Wito, but was confused as to why there was a different dude on each episode. I immediately twittered my friends, who explained the whole Steve/Joe thing. I’ll have to get back to you on the caretaker issue after some careful analysis.

6. Are there any plans to continue Whoorl’s Running Blog? Suggestions on the best shoes to run in?

Man, there are so many things I would love to blog about, with running being in my top 5. However, my Hair Thursday website, daily posts at ParentDish, and weekly column at (toberevealedsoon) have filled up most of the time I previously used for rambling at this blog. I’m beginning to understand the concept of “not enough time in the day”. (p.s. – hey concept, you SUCK ASS.)

(Oh, and if you have a neutral gait, I highly recommend these.)

7. Tell us a little more about this new love affair with Ramón. Favorite chord? I’m playing Guitar Hero myself and have found my wrists really hurt after awhile. Does the same happen to you and how do you combat it?

Oh, I do love Ramón. 5 months and counting…

My fingers ache more than my wrists these days, but I play through the pain, BABY.

8. How did Hair Thursday get started?

The seed was planted here and I got the go-ahead here.

9. What makes you laugh? Cry? Burp?

Laugh: Wito’s intense excitement when he says the alphabet. 30 Rock. Finslippy. My husband’s horrible attempts at falsetto. The way my father creates new words, such a chezigs and wintomint. This video.

Cry: Sick babies. The evening news. This father’s love for his son. The Spice Girls Reunion Tour.

Burp: Spicy food. Although, it’s more of a hiccup-type spasm that my entire dad’s side of the family possesses. Thanks, dad.

10. Favorite swear word?

Fuck- with an emphasis on the “f’, like “ffffffuck”. Be sure to clench your jaw for the ultimate effect.

11. Will you be at BlogHer this July?

I had a great time last year and it’s definitely geographically closer this time around. I would say a strong maybe.

12. Favorite Alcoholic Beverage?

Vodka on the rocks.

13. I read you have an addiction to instruction manuals. What is it about them that addicts you?

I’m all about the details. I want to know how things tick, as well as every possible way to manipulate an object.

14. I also love online shopping. Care to share your favorite online shopping spots?

As most of you know, I have a sick obsession with J. Crew. I fully enjoy purchasing enough for a small country on the website and then returning three-fourths of it at my local retail store. They really love me over there.

Other than that- Etsy, Shopbop, Oompa, Running Warehouse and Sephora.

15. Finally, any thoughts on the Pats – Giants game?

I never in a MILLION years thought the Giants would pull it out. When Eli threw the winning touchdown, our Super Bowl guests went completely ape shit. Wito was running around with his hands in the air, yelling “Tothdow! Tothdow!” I can’t imagine what New York was like last night.

Thanks, Shash! I can finally say my FAQ page is finished. Hell yes.