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The Perfect Bob
Baby Steps!
How was your Labor Day weekend? We had a great time swimming, hanging at the park, and eating loads of food. The best part of our extended weekend, however, was when Wita took her first steps! Yay, Whoorlita!
Besides her actual first steps, I have to say my favorite part of this video is D repeatedly attempting to keep Wita’s 14-month-old buddha belly covered. (In a 2T shirt, no less! I sure make some chubs, don’t I?)
Busted. And Stuff.
Uh, hello there.
In other news:
1) I have a new What in the Whoorld post up at Babble. It’s about the new AAP car seat recommendations, and how rear-facing car seats turn my child into an asshole. (Although, let’s be honest. I don’t think it’s the car seat. See above.) After reading some of the very informative comments on the post so far, I’m pretty sure Wita will be in a rear-facing seat until she’s thirteen.
2) I wrote a short guest post over at the Highchair Critics blog. You should really check it out if only to see the best photo of my children ever.
3) You might just want to go ahead and buy these jeans while they’re 35% off.
Remember my high-waisted denim dilemma? These jeans are the answer. A perfect trouser silhouette without the hipster super duper high waist. I love them so much, I have them in two different washes. (The one pictured and a dreamy chambray that unfortunately seems to be no longer.) Buy them! Free shipping and returns! You can’t go wrong, folks.
BlogHer Dancing Tips from a Pro(fessed Idiot)
Blogging about blogging is truly not my forte, so although I’m a 3-year veteran of BlogHer (2007, 2008, 2009, holla!), I won’t attempt dispensing much advice in regards to attending this week’s conference. (If you want to read a fantastic post on what to expect, though, please read Kristen’s recent one.)
However, for all you newbies and veterans alike, I am here to walk you through one of the paramount issues surrounding blogging conference parties, The Dancing. Specifically, moves you might best leave for the seasoned professionals, like yours truly. Here’s a little ditty I wrote three years ago, after returning from BlogHer in San Francisco.
(Also, I will be in San Diego Saturday evening, ready and willing to perform tutorials of the following steps for those interested.)
So You Think You Can Dance – BlogHer Edition
Originally posted on July 25, 2008
I had such a fantastic time at BlogHer. In a teeny nutshell, I was just so thrilled to be surrounded by smart, hilarious and well-rounded women instead of wiping dookie booty all day. (Can I get an AMEN?)
I think my personal high (LOW! LOW!) point of the weekend had to be “dancing” at the Mighty Haus launch party. Now, one would think that upon being invited to a party hosted by the lovely Maggie Mason, you would keep a certain air of composure about yourself as you navigate through the space and guests. And I did that…for about the first hour or so.
It’s just that people started to dance. And I really didn’t WANT to dance, but bodies were filing onto the dance floor and my adrenaline started pumping, and well, you’ll see.
Lucky for you, after noticing some photos on Flickr (thanks to Greeblemonkey and Mrs. Flinger), I can recreate this atrocity for your viewing pleasure with a mere five photos.
Photo #1:
There I am, making my way onto the dance floor. You can smell the determination in the air, can’t you?
Photo #2:
Here is my trademark warm-up maneuver. I like to walk around the floor, clapping my hands next to my ear, much like the Paso Doble. Look how Heather is rendered helpless by my matador-like movement. There is no denying it, she wants me.
Photo #3:
After the blood starts pumping, I launch into a contemporary performance art piece that Mia Michaels might as well have choreographed herself. Now, to the untrained eye, it seems I’m attempting the Charleston, but check out the back of my shirt. See how it’s airborne? This could only mean I’m at the tail end of David Lee Roth-type jumping maneuver. Leslie and Alana are AMAZED by my dancing prowess.
Photo #4:
Seriously, I have no idea.
Photo #5:
The pièce de résistance. My beloved Sprinkler maneuver. Let’s chat about this photo for a second.
1. Take notice of my face color. No, not reddish purple from embarrassment, but from INTENSITY. The Sprinkler is no joke, people.
2. I wonder, am I actually singing AND dancing at the same time? Or is it more of a guttural grunt, much like Serena Williams playing tennis?
3. My shirt buttons are literally holding on for dear life. Like I said, such is the Intensity of The Sprinkler.
4. The crotch of my pants is halfway down to my knees. This can only mean that the Van Halen jumps have loosened my pants considerably.
5. Will you marvel at my hand form? Mary Murphy would have nothing but praise for my lines.
All in all, I’m wondering about SYTYCD’s age limit for auditions because I am SO THERE NEXT YEAR.
Five Things
1. What is going on with women’s disposable razors these days? Neon colors! Glitter! Tropical scents! Who in the hell needs a disposable razor that smells like jasmine? Really, people? Is a scented razor handle truly going to take your showering experience to the next level? Will you breathe in its intoxicating scent between razor strokes? I’ll tell you what I’d like my disposable razor to do. How about SHAVE MY LEGS PROPERLY. I’m on to you, Women’s Disposable Razor Companies. Distract the consumer with bells and whistles to mask the fact that your razors are sucky. Best disposable razor I’ve ever used? Gillette Good News Plus. About as cheap as you can get, and they work like a smooth, nick-free charm.
2. Do you have an item/items of clothing that you hold onto for absolutely no reason? I have 6 pairs of J. Crew Everyday Chinos that sit year after year in a bin at the top of my closet. There’s certainly nothing wrong with J. Crew chinos, yet I haven’t worn them for 5 years now, and I don’t really see myself wearing them in the near future, so why can’t I just get rid of them? It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries. (Update: In a bag, ready for Goodwill today. Patting myself on back.)
3. I think my desperate hopes of Wita going through a developmental spurt for the past FOUR weeks need to be put to rest. Let’s get real, it’s looking like my child has an attitude problem. (Although, teething? Could it be teething? She still only has her two bottom teeth at almost 13 months old. Teeth, right? PLEASE LET IT BE THE TEETH. Why is she so unhappy all the tiiiiiime…it’s a good thing she’s kind of adorable.)
4. It’s fair to say that we need to lay off the grilling, made evident by the ridiculous indigestion I dealt with until midnight Sunday night. (Sarah’s body – Not another juicy piece of animal NOOOOOOOOO.) Also, running out of propane mid-grilling is slightly distressing, evidenced by D’s face.
When I mentioned it on Twitter/Instagram, five friends responded that the same thing had happened to them that same evening. Coincidence? I think not. Gas/Charcoal Conspiracy!
5. Please tell me your children have quirky fashion preferences. Wito has an aversion to buttons on his pants or shorts, yet he’s approaching the size where it’s becoming increasingly harder to find stylish pants donning stretchy waistbands. (We are officially in Boy sizing. Hold me.) At first, I wondered if it was a tactile issue, but alas, no. His reasoning for why he hates buttons? They aren’t “cool,” so he prefers not to look at them. But elastic waistbands ARE, Wito? Whose child are you? According to my official fashion rules, males can wear elastic-waist pants if they are younger than 5 or older than 85. We’ve got a lot to work on, kid.