BlogHer Dancing Tips from a Pro(fessed Idiot)

Blogging about blogging is truly not my forte, so although I’m a 3-year veteran of BlogHer (2007, 2008, 2009, holla!), I won’t attempt dispensing much advice in regards to attending this week’s conference. (If you want to read a fantastic post on what to expect, though, please read Kristen’s recent one.)

However, for all you newbies and veterans alike, I am here to walk you through one of the paramount issues surrounding blogging conference parties, The Dancing. Specifically, moves you might best leave for the seasoned professionals, like yours truly. Here’s a little ditty I wrote three years ago, after returning from BlogHer in San Francisco.

(Also, I will be in San Diego Saturday evening, ready and willing to perform tutorials of the following steps for those interested.)

So You Think You Can Dance – BlogHer Edition

Originally posted on July 25, 2008

I had such a fantastic time at BlogHer. In a teeny nutshell, I was just so thrilled to be surrounded by smart, hilarious and well-rounded women instead of wiping dookie booty all day. (Can I get an AMEN?)

I think my personal high (LOW! LOW!) point of the weekend had to be “dancing” at the Mighty Haus launch party. Now, one would think that upon being invited to a party hosted by the lovely Maggie Mason, you would keep a certain air of composure about yourself as you navigate through the space and guests. And I did that…for about the first hour or so.

It’s just that people started to dance. And I really didn’t WANT to dance, but bodies were filing onto the dance floor and my adrenaline started pumping, and well, you’ll see.

Lucky for you, after noticing some photos on Flickr (thanks to Greeblemonkey and Mrs. Flinger), I can recreate this atrocity for your viewing pleasure with a mere five photos.

Photo #1:


There I am, making my way onto the dance floor. You can smell the determination in the air, can’t you?

Photo #2:


Here is my trademark warm-up maneuver. I like to walk around the floor, clapping my hands next to my ear, much like the Paso Doble. Look how Heather is rendered helpless by my matador-like movement. There is no denying it, she wants me.

Photo #3:


After the blood starts pumping, I launch into a contemporary performance art piece that Mia Michaels might as well have choreographed herself. Now, to the untrained eye, it seems I’m attempting the Charleston, but check out the back of my shirt. See how it’s airborne? This could only mean I’m at the tail end of David Lee Roth-type jumping maneuver. Leslie and Alana are AMAZED by my dancing prowess.

Photo #4:


Seriously, I have no idea.

Photo #5:


The pièce de résistance. My beloved Sprinkler maneuver. Let’s chat about this photo for a second.

1. Take notice of my face color. No, not reddish purple from embarrassment, but from INTENSITY. The Sprinkler is no joke, people.

2. I wonder, am I actually singing AND dancing at the same time? Or is it more of a guttural grunt, much like Serena Williams playing tennis?

3. My shirt buttons are literally holding on for dear life. Like I said, such is the Intensity of The Sprinkler.

4. The crotch of my pants is halfway down to my knees. This can only mean that the Van Halen jumps have loosened my pants considerably.

5. Will you marvel at my hand form? Mary Murphy would have nothing but praise for my lines.

All in all, I’m wondering about SYTYCD’s age limit for auditions because I am SO THERE NEXT YEAR.

  1. Ali

    August 2, 2011 at 11:03 am

    I think you’d be doing the entire conference a disservice if you didn’t recreate those moves again. HAVE FUN!

  2. Angella

    August 2, 2011 at 11:33 am

    I didn’t make it onto that dance floor with you, I think mainly because there was no way I could keep up with your moves.

    (See you Saturday!)

  3. Carrie Giebelhaus

    August 2, 2011 at 11:44 am

    omg you were doing the windshield wiper in #4. now i wish i was going. i could be the other wiper. HAHA!!


  4. Heather B.

    August 2, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Gosh. I wish somewhere there was video of your dance moves!

    Oh wait! There is! http://nopasanada.org/2007/07/30/sweet-escape/

    You’re welcome.

  5. whoorl

    August 2, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Heather B,

    I see your dance video and raise you a Dunkin Donuts one.

  6. Kristen

    August 2, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    I am really excited to bust a move with you. If you can keep up with me.

  7. Lisa

    August 2, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    One of my favorite posts ever!!! It made me laugh 3 years ago & it makes me laugh just as hard now!!!

  8. Angie

    August 3, 2011 at 10:13 am

    This is one my favorite posts of yours of all time. Sometimes when I look at my blouse in the mirror, and a button is acting crazy, I think about how it looks like it is holding on for dear life.

  9. RookieMom Whitney

    August 3, 2011 at 10:40 am

    God, I had no idea. I plan to find you and follow you around for the next three days.