Here’s a poll for you. Please vote! Do it for the Whoorl family!
The key details:
Husband is at a Masters viewing party in the neighborhood.
Husband texts saying he will be home when the tournament is over.
Husband returns home one hour and thirty minutes after the tournament ends.
Wife is thoroughly annoyed.
Husband thinks wife is being “ridiculous” by requesting that he send her a quick text at some point letting her know that he will be late.
Question: Is it “ridiculous” that wife requests a text update when husband is running over an hour late?
CoriApril 12, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Here’s what I suggest: Next time he’s sick – not dying sick, but sick enough that he would rather lay down – leave him at home alone with a toddler. Then return an hour and a half after you said you would be home and ask him if he would have appreciated a text.
brandonApril 12, 2010 at 2:07 pm
i was married long before text messages, so i believe i’m grandfathered into the old rules. however, i am considerate enough to send a post card if i’m going to be more than 3 days late.
Trinity(of haiku tofu)April 12, 2010 at 2:53 pm
i’m not going to vote b/c i think it depends- if you were preparing a meal, or waiting on him to go somewhere, he should have texted. if you were just bumming around the house feeling lonesome, i’d say let it be.
.-= Trinity(of haiku tofu)´s last blog ..Fish ‘n’ Chips, vegan-style =-.
annieApril 12, 2010 at 3:39 pm
In this house it doesn’t matter WHAT is going on at home or not going on at home. If you say you’re going to be here you’re HERE. If you’re not here, you’re on the horn telling the Other WHY. This is the case regardless of whether the one at home is alone, pregnant, or with little people. THAT SAID, being pregnant and having a little person at home too makes the offense all the more grievous.
Jenn BoApril 12, 2010 at 3:42 pm
I voted “no”, but if I’m being completely honest – I voilate this rule all the time about when I will be leaving work.
MichelleApril 12, 2010 at 8:48 pm
This wife would have been pissed after thinking he was probably dead or his dialing finger maimed and THAT is obviously why he couldn’t take 5 freaking seconds to text that he’s having fun with the guys and will be home later than expected. Dude, really? It would take 30 seconds to be a good husband to your wife and not let her worry.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..How Dave Lost Me Hanging Out With Pioneer Woman. =-.
TanyaApril 12, 2010 at 11:47 pm
I HATE waiting for anything, but it would be really annoying if I were waiting for my husband while pregnant. What if I needed my back scratched, for crying out loud???
sarahApril 13, 2010 at 5:55 am
We have this conversation ALL.THE.TIME. I think it’s 70% “the late person checks in” and 30% “there is an acceptable amount of buffer time after an event.” After the buffer time, the person waiting can call or text to check in, because the bottom line is “Are you ok? I expected you home by now & am getting worried.” Annoyance is a luxury once safety is established.
That said, I’m curious (because this is the situation that follows the “I’m running late” text): what happens when he does text, admitting lateness? Do you give up the right to be annoyed? Yes, you let me know you are running late, but I’m still getting shafted here, feeling rejected, taken advantage of, or like my time doesn’t matter as much as yours. (or sometimes I just want to know because I COULD HAVE watched an entire episode of that show that you don’t like by now, and wouldn’t THAT have been nice???)
gorillabunsApril 13, 2010 at 7:34 am
for goodness sakes! you are carrying his child and could have been in labor and he wouldn’t have know that you were boiling your own water preparing your birthplan all because of a stupid ball.
ahem… so no, i have no clue what you are speaking of about men and tardiness.
Kerri AnneApril 13, 2010 at 9:54 am
Marriage polls! I love it.
(Do you golf? Have we talked about how I took lessons for years when I was younger, and how my dad wanted me to go to college on a golf scholarship (ha!), before I ultimately decided I would rather run around a track with my stomach dying of nerves than play ten minutes of golf?)
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Good Things: Academy Award Winning Movie Trailer =-.
SBMayaApril 13, 2010 at 10:49 am
As someone who routinely PLANS for their Person to a) be an hour and a half late, everywhere b) take that long to get out the door, no matter how routine/minor the errand(s)/mission may be, I can only say how jealous I am that you at least got *A* text.
That being said…I am also a veteran sports widow (really: a primary cause in my deciding to divorce my husband is the La Lakers/my ex’s preference for watching them for SIX HOURS at a stretch over doing anything, anything at all- six HOURS for a 48 minute game…) and I think the Masters is…a pretty big deal. There could be extra celebrating, especially in view of the fact that Phil, not that bastard Tiger, won.
So I voted “annoying, yes” and am in favor of the tardy text…but I understand the other side.
KristaApril 13, 2010 at 12:52 pm
There is no such thing as a ridiculous request when you are pregnant. And, no, that is not just a silly cop-out…. so says I, your very (8.5 months) pregnant marriage ref official.
Pamela WrightApril 13, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Sorry, D. You’re getting your ass kicked here. Better start your own blog. Although he could say that he is trying to “community build” with the new neighbors. But still, she’s pregnant which means that Sarah wins every argument automatically. Should have come home with an ice cream sundae – it might have helped.
Pamela WrightApril 13, 2010 at 2:04 pm
I’m loving the Marriage Ref, btw.
Sara B.April 13, 2010 at 8:38 pm
That’s a tough call because neither of you set a clear time so he was probably thinking that you didn’t care and felt that 90 minutes later was completely reasonable. My husband and I had that fight so often that we started saying times when we would expect to be home.
Me “So you think you’ll be home by 8pm.”
Him “I guess… Might be a bit later.”
Me “Okay, I won’t start to worry until 9pm. Let me know by calling or texting if you think it will be later than that.”
It helps a lot!