Step Away From the Spray Bottle, Sir

Over the past few years, we’ve rarely strayed from Wito’s signature hairstyle. You’ve seen it before…the swoopy, longer bangs in the front…short, but not too short in the back…

It just suits him. Not that the haircut doesn’t have its drawbacks, though. It can get a little hot and sweaty all up in there, and we deal with some pretty raunchy bedhead, to boot.

And I raaaaaan, I ran so far awaaayyy…

A few weeks ago, we decided to shorten it up a bit. We’ve hit the warmest part of the summer, and it was looking a tad bothersome. D (who does a mighty fine job of cutting his own hair, might I add) took the reigns and gave Wito a nice summer cut.

Wito was happy with it, and although we definitely miss the swoop, it was a nice change.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, when I opened his backpack and retrieved the ominous school picture envelope.

This is what I found.

(I’d like to apologize for the abundance of caps lock you are about to witness.)


WHA? WHO? HUH? Who is that child? Is that my child? What the hell happened to the top of his head? Is it, um, wet? Has it been sprayed with water or some oil-like substance? What’s the vertical span of that business on top? WHO MANIPULATED MY CHILD’S HEAD, I ASK OF YOU PLEASE SIR.

It’s just so…wet and spiky and, well, of the douchebag variety.

You guys, I cry-laughed for at least 20 minutes upon finding these photos. I think we will pass on this year’s package, thanks.

UPDATE: After chatting with some moms, it seems many children in Wito’s class had surprising hairstyles in their photos. When called and asked, the photographer shared that “they do not normally restyle kids hair, but this particular class was unfortunately right after recess.” Unfortunate indeed, good sir. UNFORTUNATE, INDEED. Heh.

  1. Amti'b

    August 23, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Still laughing today, stan got a goodgiggle as well. Funniest part about is that it happened to the two of you!! Hee hee

  2. Bree

    August 23, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    Not buying a photo as a memory of this will be tragic! I LOVE my kids school photos. Especially the horrific ones. You know the ones with the terrible backgrounds, fake rocks, and stuffed animals?!

    Trust me, I love my family photographer (who I can only afford once a year) but these are right up there with the ones I will grab on my way out of my house if it catches on fire.

  3. Emily

    August 24, 2012 at 6:41 am

    OMG…I am dying in my chair right now. Thank you for sharing this b/c it completely brightened my day!! :) And as a mom, I can totally relate and appreciate the fact that you weren’t too embarrassed to show this to the world. Btw, I think you should totally order at least one. For a good laugh one day when your son is older!

  4. Susan

    August 24, 2012 at 8:20 am

    So, what does Wito have to say about it? :) That is most definitely a WTH? moment! Thank you for the giggle today!

  5. GreenInOC

    August 24, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Oh my! I thought those school pics were of your husband, doesn’t even look like Wito.

    Why not ask for a do-over? Although, there is something to be said for awkward school photos. My 5th grade one is rough! I showed it to my nephew when he was about 11 and he said, “Wow, that must have been an awful year for you!”.

  6. corrin

    August 30, 2012 at 4:58 am

    I’m wearing a Smurf bobby pin in my kindergarten picture. When I left for school that day my mom found it in my pocket and explicitly told me not to wear it. When picture time came around, the photographer’s assistant saw it in my hand and put it in my hair. I tried to stop her, but she whisked me infront of the camera before I could say anything. Needless to say, my mother was not pleased when the photos came home.

  7. Isaak Martin

    August 30, 2012 at 9:50 am

    Look! What a nice looking! How sweet kid is he. Thanks for beautiful photos.

  8. cc

    August 30, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    I would buy one sheet, just for the memories.

    It would also give you proof that a fauxhawk does not really suit him.

  9. Soumya

    September 12, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    The kids looks very cute. Nice Clicks

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