Step Away From the Spray Bottle, Sir

Over the past few years, we’ve rarely strayed from Wito’s signature hairstyle. You’ve seen it before…the swoopy, longer bangs in the front…short, but not too short in the back…

It just suits him. Not that the haircut doesn’t have its drawbacks, though. It can get a little hot and sweaty all up in there, and we deal with some pretty raunchy bedhead, to boot.

And I raaaaaan, I ran so far awaaayyy…

A few weeks ago, we decided to shorten it up a bit. We’ve hit the warmest part of the summer, and it was looking a tad bothersome. D (who does a mighty fine job of cutting his own hair, might I add) took the reigns and gave Wito a nice summer cut.

Wito was happy with it, and although we definitely miss the swoop, it was a nice change.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, when I opened his backpack and retrieved the ominous school picture envelope.

This is what I found.

(I’d like to apologize for the abundance of caps lock you are about to witness.)


WHA? WHO? HUH? Who is that child? Is that my child? What the hell happened to the top of his head? Is it, um, wet? Has it been sprayed with water or some oil-like substance? What’s the vertical span of that business on top? WHO MANIPULATED MY CHILD’S HEAD, I ASK OF YOU PLEASE SIR.

It’s just so…wet and spiky and, well, of the douchebag variety.

You guys, I cry-laughed for at least 20 minutes upon finding these photos. I think we will pass on this year’s package, thanks.

UPDATE: After chatting with some moms, it seems many children in Wito’s class had surprising hairstyles in their photos. When called and asked, the photographer shared that “they do not normally restyle kids hair, but this particular class was unfortunately right after recess.” Unfortunate indeed, good sir. UNFORTUNATE, INDEED. Heh.

  1. Torrie @ a place to share...

    August 22, 2012 at 6:38 am

    too funny!!!!!!!!

    ooooh, can i SO. RELATE. i’ve got some “cute” ones i tell ya. (involving all kinds of manipulation)

  2. Diana

    August 22, 2012 at 6:41 am

    And I bet he was so proud of himself, too. Hahaha.

  3. Roxanna

    August 22, 2012 at 6:43 am

    Love it! Haa!

  4. Leslie

    August 22, 2012 at 6:53 am

    What HAPPENED? Who DID that? His teacher? His friends? That is ridiculous. and funny. But mostly ridiculous.

  5. Mia

    August 22, 2012 at 6:53 am

    Hahahahah! This might be the cutest thing I’ve seen in a while. You’ve got to buy at least a few, for posterity’s sake.

  6. sizzle

    August 22, 2012 at 6:58 am

    Did he do that or did someone at the school do it? Hahahahahahahaha. OMG it’s ridiculously hilarious.

  7. whoorl

    August 22, 2012 at 7:05 am

    From what I gather from some other moms, it seems the photographer’s helper/”stylist” took a little too much liberty with the styling portion of the photo shoot. ;)

  8. gorillabuns

    August 22, 2012 at 7:05 am

    I would totally keep some just to laugh about for future reference.

  9. whoorl

    August 22, 2012 at 7:06 am

    PLUS! Who takes photos directly after recess? The kid looks like a sweaty tomato.

  10. gorillabuns

    August 22, 2012 at 7:07 am

    BTW: I think he looks like your dad in the last pic.;)

  11. bishop stu tu

    August 22, 2012 at 7:32 am

    whOOrl gOOrl,

    well there went his political career. does his school have a hockey team?

    still laughin’…WOW!

    yo dad

    • whoorl

      August 22, 2012 at 11:12 am

      HAHAAAAAAA. Good one, dad.

  12. Danielle (elleinadspir)

    August 22, 2012 at 7:36 am

    Oh my god. I am dying! I am cry laughing with you. We have similar hair issues. He wants it short to help with the sweat/keeping cool issue, but also likes to keep the signature longish look. I’d die if I saw this style happen on him.

  13. Rachel

    August 22, 2012 at 8:10 am

    I cannot stop laughing – this is hysterical.

  14. Christy

    August 22, 2012 at 8:40 am

    You must get some sort of package – you’ll want to remember this one. Just don’t do what my parents did – hang every school photo above the entryway stairwell as some sort of hall of shame.

    • Lynne

      August 22, 2012 at 11:29 am

      I agree! Order something, you need to remember this!

  15. Kerri Anne

    August 22, 2012 at 8:41 am

    I remember they ALWAYS took school photos at the worst times (back in the day) (I feel so old right now). Right after lunch, or right after recess, or right after I decided crimping my hair was a the best of all ideas. Also, body-suits.

    (Also, Derbs is still the cutest, even while being forced to rock Jersey Shore hair.)