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What? It’s Thursday again?!

The next two participants couldn’t come at a better time, as they will help me illustrate a few Hair Thursday rules.

1. I will not suggest a dramatically different cut and style in an attempt to spice things up. Nothing bothers me more than watching hair stylists on certain makeover-type shows lop off and mutilate perfectly lovely hair. If you have lovely hair, I’m not going to tell you to hack it off and color it purple. Sometimes, my advice might seem boring or extremely subtle, but sometimes your hair IS JUST THAT GREAT ON ITS OWN. FIND A WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS FACT.

2. I can’t help you find a new style, if you’re not willing to STYLE it. Hair Thursday is not a magic wand – if you want happy hair, you are going to need to put forth a little effort. (And by effort, I mean 10 minutes+.)

Wow, I’m crabby! My son currently has six (YES! SIX!) teeth coming in simultaneously. Excuse me while I chug this wine over here.

Ah, better.

Today’s first parrtithipant is Ellie.

Ellie’s hair:

Natural medium brown color
Thick
Wavy
Prefers shoulder-length or longer
Does not use styling tools
Spends 3-5 minutes styling her hair

Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. (I really like saying your name, Ellie.) (Ellie.) Ellie has lovely hair. It’s thick, shiny, and has great wave and body. I know a lot of people who would kill for their hair to look like this with only 120 seconds of effort. But, c’mon Ellie, can you give me like 10 minutes? 20 tops? For then, you could be the SUPER YOU. Tempting, isn’t it…

Looking though her photos, the major thing that jumped at me was hair color. With her skin tone, she could rock an auburn-brown or a deeper golden chestnut. Nothing too dramatic, though. In fact, a semi-permanent rinse would be perfect – low maintenance, washes out, etc. (Email me – we’ll find the perfect shade.) That and some long layers framing the face and VOILA! Perfection!

Both of these photos exhibit a similar hairstyle, but I like the subtle differences in the color.

Styling-wise, grab a round brush and blow dryer to achieve the look in the first photo. (Oh, and of course, my FAVE, Frederic Fekkai Glossing Cream, but only a teensy bit!) As for the second photo, bust out your ceramic curling iron and get ready for the SUPER YOU. What do you all think of the options?

Voting is closed.

Gretchen! Coooome on down!

Gretchen’s Hair:

Naturally dark brown, but dyes it a touch darker
Very thick
Natural wave, but not enough to wear wavy
Doesn’t want short hair
Uses a blow dryer and round brush
Open to products, but not sure which ones to use
Is “tempted by long, swoopy bangs”

Gretchen’s hair length is in that in-between stage. You know the one, when it naturally flips out from brushing against your shoulders all day? My advice is to take it up a couple of inches or let it grow- and since SOMEONE does not like shorter hair *cough cough MR. GRETCHEN cough cough*, maybe you only have one available option.

Looking at Gretchen’s beautiful and fair complexion, I do think the current hair color is a little dark. Maybe she could take it one shade lighter? I think a chocolate brown would be just lovely. As for the swoopy bangs, it looks like she has a cowlick that is in line with her part, so she could definitely pull it off.

These options would be very easy to achieve. The cut would sit just past the shoulders, with some layers to achieve a textured finish while still adding movement to the style. The long bangs falling to the side would help to conceal her high hairline. Wash and dry, a quick once-over with a ceramic flat iron and FF glossing cream. Gretchen, do you feel the need to wash your hair every morning while showering? If not, this haircut would be great because you could wear it for two days, thus cutting down on the styling tools. Regardless, you don’t NEED to use to flat iron every day. I’m all for keeping the flat iron in the bathroom drawer when possible.

Both colors are pretty- I love Option #2 for the upcoming fall season. Gretchen did mention previously coloring her hair a reddish-brown before moving very dark. What do you think? Let Gretchen know!

Voting is closed.

Quick blowdrying tip – To reduce blowdrying in half and protect from the heat, use Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum. I wrote about it here.

Who’s ready to witness a chick in her robe sans makeup dealing with hair appliances in her bathroom at 7 a.m.? Let’s get going!

The cast of characters: A Mason Pearson brush and a good ceramic curling iron. Ladies (and gents?), there is nothing more important than a good brush. I just recently bought a new one, but the previous Mason Pearson I owned (and STILL used) was given to me when I was 8 years old. Forgive my math, but I do believe it lasted 24 years. They are worth the cashola, is all I’m sayin’. As for the curling iron, I have a Hot Tools Tourmaline Ceramic 1-inch iron. Ceramic is super important for the shine and who the hell knows what the use of tourmaline is supposed to accomplish. (Un)Fortunately, I mentally wandered off to my happy place (the one where you float on chile con queso clouds) while the ULTA sales associate was explaining it to me.

Frederic Fekkai Glossing Cream and Sheer Shine Mist. I love these products, and they last forever. In fact, I just buy the travel sizes. I don’t think I could ever get through the regular ones. Plus, you can pack them in your carry-on. Am I always thinking or WHAT?

Now, stop right there. Any person who, up to this point, has been thinking, “Gee, that Whoorl is quite the narcissist”, needs to take a gander at this mug shot. Will you take a look at this sorry soul? This is the face of someone who has already showered at 6:30am because their toddler decided to wake up at 5:15am READY! FOR! THE! DAY! But look at me, diggin’ in and doing it for the team. Holla!

Oh yeah, so step one. Take a shower. Towel-dry hair.

Put a pea-sized drop of the glossing cream in the palm of your hand. Yes, that’s right- I don’t have man hands. The size of a pea, not a dime, a nickel or a quarter. That cream can get a leeettle on the greasy side. Rub it your palms until it warms and then work it through from the middle to the ends. While working it, look in the mirror, purr and say, “I’m worth it.”

Now, here’s a little fork in the road for everyone. I don’t blow-dry my hair unless forced. However, I know lots of you actually have to BE somewhere looking all hot and sassy in a certain amount of time. So, by all means, please blow-dry your hair at this point. You don’t need to dry it stick straight- just blow-dry while brushing to close the cuticle. (That’s right, I just sassooned you with a little hair terminology). After drying, don’t worry if your hair looks frizzy/lame/heinous/stringy. The curling iron will take care of you.

Here I am about an hour later, after I completed my morning routine of:

1. Feeding toddler.
2. Cleaning up after toddler.
3. Dressing toddler.
4. Wiping toddler’s bum.
5. Contacting local black market for baby-selling opportunities.
6. Unloading dishwasher.
7. Belittling my husband.
8. Husband belittling me.
9. Drinking 1/2 cup of coffee. (With REAL caffeine! I’m crazy!)
10. Checking Google Reader, Twitter, Flickr and email.
11. Applying a little undereye concealer, mascara and blush.
12. Looking at wavy hair in mirror.

And there you go! Thanks for visiting the Whoorl Hair Photo Essay! See you next time!

Okay, so we’re not done for the purposes of this post, but 85% of the time, this is the end of the road for me. I’m a wash-n-wear kind of gal. Not today, however. Today I’ll be the Super Me. I know what you’re thinking, “What if the super you meets the super her and the super her rejects the super you?” Well, then it’s no problem because it was never you, it was just an act. I live my life like a French movie.

Bring on the tools!

Get your sexy brush and work it. Brush with many strokes (so if you have hair like mine, you get the waves to relax a little). Then pin about half of your hair up in a clippy thing.

At this point, I realize taking photos and using a curling iron at the same time presents a challenge. Enter husband.

“Honey? I know you’re in the middle of drafting, but could I borrow you for a second?”
“Why.”
“I need you to take pictures of me curling my hair.”
“Why.”
“Because I’m doing this photo essay for Whoorl about my hair…you know, how I do it.”
“Why.”
“Because people are always asking about my hair, honey. I thought it would be funny…you know quirky kind of funny…not FUNNY, funny…I don’t think I’m some sort of comedien…comedienne? Comedienne, comedienne…wow, that word sounds kind of funny when you say it repeatedly…comedienne, cah-MEEEE-dienne, cah-meeeee-dieNNE. Heh.”

*silent, judgemental staring*

Here’s the important part. Up until recently, I wasn’t very familiar with curling irons. I presumed you were supposed to clamp your hair down and then roll upwards like in high school. Stupid, stupid me. Apparently, you don’t use the clampy part at all. (Are you all shaking you heads right now? Like C’MON, everybody knows THAT!)

Basically, hold the iron parallel to your head, and starting a couple of inches from your scalp, wrap a 1-1/2 inch section of hair around the barrel (in the away-from-your-face direction). Continue wrapping up the barrel until you are holding the ends up against the iron and simultaneously trying to keep your fingers from blistering due to the 300 degree heat.

In the above photo, my perfectionist husband is taking his sweet-ass time lining up the shot to his liking, while my defenseless hair cauterizes and falls off.

“WILL YOU TAKE THE PHOTO ALREADY? IT SMELLS LIKE A DAMN S’MORE IN HERE!”

*hair breathes a sigh of relief, trembling*

Repeat. This process shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes. Consider starting a rooster-hair trend. When curling the top layer, use much larger sections of hair to keep from looking too curling-ironish.

Here I am half-way through, thinking the bathroom light makes my skin look peachy-pretty.

ACK! Natural light! Close the window shade already!

See how curling larger sections on top gives it a less perfectionist look? Because, you know, that’s me, Miss Carefree.

Spray one spritz of the mist on each side of hair. Let it cool completely.

Look at clock and realize you have 20 minutes until your appointment with you-know-who. Freak out because you’re not dressed and your child is sitting in the living room naked, feasting on an electrical cord.

Yell, “SHIT!” (Just to watch your husband shudder. He does it every single time.)

Dress yourself, dress your baby, shake your head and put on your new sexpot lip gloss. Take picture of final result. Preview photo, see nothing but blurry. Yell, “SHIT!” again. Take another photo.

Look at photo. OCD kicks in. Hair is not looking optimal. No time to worry about it. Rush out the door and into the crazy world, spreading the hair joy. Much like a prophet.