Rocky Mountain High

Wow. That is the cheesiest post title I have ever written. (Although, Zeus? Hera? Where’s the God of Teeth when you need him? and Memories, Light The Corner Of My Mind are additional fine options.)

I just don’t know where to begin. I mean, do you all even KNOW ME anymore? No, no, I don’t think you do, and the only way to remedy the situation is a quick post filled with written diarrhea.

Let’s see. I just returned from a quick trip to Denver and Boulder. As you may or may not know, my husband graduated from the University of Colorado and we wanted to check out his old stomping grounds while meeting up with his brother’s family. (Which included the most delicious 6-month-old ever.) The weather was beautiful, the leaves were starting to change, the air was crisp and the food was tasty.

We poked around neighborhoods and parks and generally fell over dead when we saw the housing prices. Houses that would easily be over the 2 million dollar mark in my beach community were literally, dare I say, remotely AFFORDABLE. Frankly, it makes me wonder, is the beach that worth it? Is the year-round perfect weather that worth it? Will I live in a small bungalow FOREVER AND EVER, GOD HELP ME?

Wait! That’s not all! The women? At the beautiful Colorado parks? Were NATURALLY attractive. NOT shot up with Botox, sporting blond extensions and Juicy Couture track suits! I did not see one bright yellow Hummer or flaming red Aston Martin. The people were friendly! With not a hint of passive aggressiveness!

OH MY GOD, Orange County, you are slowly killing my will to live.

(See? This is when I think I should continue not updating my blog. Do you really want to read this drivel?)

Also, I’m not the least bit ashamed to admit that I am almost physically ill that I finished reading the Twilight series. What in the hell am I supposed to do now? Blog or something? I love Edward and Bella, and I could care less if people think it was a poorly-written series because I could NOT put it down. Being a huge Anne Rice fan, I thought I would scoff at these books, but I loved them, oh how I loved them. Is there going to be a 5th book? Please, someone MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY. If you absolutely loved Twilight, do you have any other books that you recommend I read? I belong to Goodreads, but I get lost in all of the millions and trillions of suggestions.

(Also, does anyone else wonder if by reading and thinking about vampires, you are sending out some sort of other-worldly wavelength for the vampires to come find you? No? Just forget I mentioned it.)

Now, if you are looking for something to make you laugh your ever-loving ass off, might I recommend Cringe by the lovely Sarah Brown? It’s a compilation of grade and high school journal entries that are some of the most hilarious pages I’ve read in any book.

(But I don’t WANT funny now! I want Edward and Bella! Wah.)

Help me find some sort of substitute before I am forced to read The Witching Hour for the fifth time.

  1. Rachel

    September 23, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Right, well, my computer ate my comment and left you an l….
    Sorry about that. The jist was that Twilight rocks and so does Janet Evanovich. Go read Janet :)

  2. lisa

    September 23, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    oh how I’ve MISSED your blog entries! Glad you enjoyed your trip…from reading a comment YOU made on twitter I decided TO go ahead and ORDER “the shred” …question…how long do you do level 1…?? I am on day 2 of level one and MY tush and arms are S-O-R-E! AND i’m famished!! So no book recommendations BUT a plead FOR a more detailed SHRED blog entry! :) GLAD to have an update! Take care and GOOD luck in the BOOK quest!

  3. Sarah

    September 23, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    I, too, was going to fill you in on Midnight Sun, but I’m glad you’ve been enlightened. It’s amazing, so I really hope she finishes it! I also devoured every inch of her website. She has “deleted scenes” (edited chapters) for the other books as well. The FAQs for each book are pretty interesting too.

  4. am'ti b

    September 23, 2008 at 10:14 pm

    said six month old misses the whoorls!

  5. JG

    September 23, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    I LOVE hearing someone from Orange County muse that, hey, maybe the real estate prices there are frickin’ ridiculous. I love San Francisco and Orange County and all of those wonderful areas along the California coast, but … sometimes I get the sense that people forget they have other options that do not cost a small fortune a month. An entire country of options, even, not all of which are in the sticks.

  6. kat

    September 23, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    i’d read and all but am too tired from doing the 30 day shred (thanks to you!). :)

  7. Leah

    September 23, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    I have never commented before and I have nothing to say about the Twilight series but I needted to tell you: Thank you so, so much for the commentary on Orange County.

    I lived in Costa Mesa for 4 1/2 years and came to like (occasionally love) it a lot more than I ever expected. Now that I’ve been away from it for about 9 months, I defend OC to people and I’m romanticizing that perfect weather and other little things. But oh. Is it worth it? I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I have more will to live now.

    Sorry for being so random. Mostly what you did was make me feel better about my own little verbal diarrhea ramblings inside my brain about life, Orange County conflictedness, where to live, and the rest of it. So thanks.

  8. Camels & Chocolate

    September 23, 2008 at 11:39 pm

    Seriously, Whoorl, you have to promise me to go and pick up Charlaine Harris’ Southern Vampire series, like, NOW. They are clever, fun, creative (Harry Potter-esque) and a jiggity jillion times better than Twilight (I know, I’m on #4 of that series), and there are EIGHT of them (and still going!). They’re what that new HBO show, TrueBlood, is based on, but much better, natch. Are you still here? Well, you should be off to the bookstore to buy #1 by now!!!

  9. Bri

    September 24, 2008 at 12:41 am

    I third the Southern Vampire series by Charlaine Harris (actually I’ve liked everything I’ve read by her)

    and I second the Betsy, Queen of the vampires series by Mary Janice Davidson (this one makes me laugh my ass off, and I’ve read most of them several times)

  10. Kim

    September 24, 2008 at 5:29 am

    I love book requests!
    I’ve read a few really good ones lately, though not in the vampire genre, although everyone I know is pressuring me to read Twilight, and this post was like a sign, so I guess that’s next. Anyway, if you haven’t read Suzanne Finnamore’s Otherwise Engaged, The Zygote Chronicles and Split: A Memoir of Divorce, I would highly recommend all three. It’s sort of a fiction/non-fiction journey of her life through engagement, motherhood and divorce and although I was scared it was going to be a cheese-fest, she is an amazing writer.
    As far as your life, which I’m totally qualified to comment on (ha!), I vote for mountains over the beach any day! If you’re tallying votes, that is.
    And lastly since I’ve never commented before, Hair Thursday has seriously added to my life in a very positive way. I’m lucky in that my sister-in-law is a stylist and refuses to take payment for anything she does to my hair, so I usually show up with cupcakes or something.

  11. Brittany

    September 24, 2008 at 6:56 am

    I highly recommend Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr. Great book. A bit darker than Twilight, but it is very very good.

    I also enjoyed the House of Night Series by PC Cast & Kristen Cast (fast read and fun read, truly enjoyable but not nearly as good as Twilight).

  12. RA

    September 24, 2008 at 7:08 am

    I just finished The Road, and it was one of the best books I’ve ever read, ever. Now, I would not say that I loved it, because it is not an affectionate book (if you know what I mean). I’m all cold and haunted by it, but it was really amazing. I will not be seeing the movie when it comes out, Viggo Mortenson notwithstanding.

    My other standard novel recommendations this year are:

    The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
    The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
    The Time Traveler’s Wife
    Life of Pi

    Have you tried the His Dark Materials trilogy, by Philip Pullman? The Golden Compass is my favorite, but the entire thing is pretty cool.

    Erm, I did not read the Twilight series, so I hope this does not negate my book recommendations…

  13. Janssn

    September 24, 2008 at 7:16 am

    I feel exactly the same way about Twilight. SO so addicting.

    I REALLY enjoyed The Hunger Games – good romance, lots of action. Very different from Twilight, but it left me with that same “nothing will ever be as good again” feeling. And frankly, after Twilight, I was afraid I’d never feel that way again.

  14. Kris

    September 24, 2008 at 7:20 am

    I too went gaga over the Twilight series, and since others before me beat me to pointing out the whole Midnight Sun first 12 chapters (go and read them, you will be in Twilight HEAVEN!!).

    The book I’m going to suggest isn’t about vampires, but it does have that epic love story going on…. The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons. Totally the best book EVER.

  15. amy

    September 24, 2008 at 8:18 am

    oh how i have to write a comment on this post. first off, you are right on abt the botox/juicy suits/aston martins….gag. i took a look around in laguna on saturday and realized i had become immuned to them…until one of my friends brings it to my attention…and then i became self conscious that i was becoming one.

    and twilight series: i started reading it the same time my mom did. she is on her fourth book. me…still on the first. mainly bc i have been slammed with wedding season but also bc i JUST DON’T WANT IT TO BE OVER. and i know i have 3 more after this one. but i am secretly reading very slow to space them out for all my upcoming trips. lame? i know. i love edward. did you see stephanie meyers on ellen?
    so i will be curious to see what book your readers suggest next.

    mwah to wito