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Rocky Mountain High

Wow. That is the cheesiest post title I have ever written. (Although, Zeus? Hera? Where’s the God of Teeth when you need him? and Memories, Light The Corner Of My Mind are additional fine options.)

I just don’t know where to begin. I mean, do you all even KNOW ME anymore? No, no, I don’t think you do, and the only way to remedy the situation is a quick post filled with written diarrhea.

Let’s see. I just returned from a quick trip to Denver and Boulder. As you may or may not know, my husband graduated from the University of Colorado and we wanted to check out his old stomping grounds while meeting up with his brother’s family. (Which included the most delicious 6-month-old ever.) The weather was beautiful, the leaves were starting to change, the air was crisp and the food was tasty.

We poked around neighborhoods and parks and generally fell over dead when we saw the housing prices. Houses that would easily be over the 2 million dollar mark in my beach community were literally, dare I say, remotely AFFORDABLE. Frankly, it makes me wonder, is the beach that worth it? Is the year-round perfect weather that worth it? Will I live in a small bungalow FOREVER AND EVER, GOD HELP ME?

Wait! That’s not all! The women? At the beautiful Colorado parks? Were NATURALLY attractive. NOT shot up with Botox, sporting blond extensions and Juicy Couture track suits! I did not see one bright yellow Hummer or flaming red Aston Martin. The people were friendly! With not a hint of passive aggressiveness!

OH MY GOD, Orange County, you are slowly killing my will to live.

(See? This is when I think I should continue not updating my blog. Do you really want to read this drivel?)

Also, I’m not the least bit ashamed to admit that I am almost physically ill that I finished reading the Twilight series. What in the hell am I supposed to do now? Blog or something? I love Edward and Bella, and I could care less if people think it was a poorly-written series because I could NOT put it down. Being a huge Anne Rice fan, I thought I would scoff at these books, but I loved them, oh how I loved them. Is there going to be a 5th book? Please, someone MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY. If you absolutely loved Twilight, do you have any other books that you recommend I read? I belong to Goodreads, but I get lost in all of the millions and trillions of suggestions.

(Also, does anyone else wonder if by reading and thinking about vampires, you are sending out some sort of other-worldly wavelength for the vampires to come find you? No? Just forget I mentioned it.)

Now, if you are looking for something to make you laugh your ever-loving ass off, might I recommend Cringe by the lovely Sarah Brown? It’s a compilation of grade and high school journal entries that are some of the most hilarious pages I’ve read in any book.

(But I don’t WANT funny now! I want Edward and Bella! Wah.)

Help me find some sort of substitute before I am forced to read The Witching Hour for the fifth time.

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60 Comments
  • Angela

    September 23, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    It’s not Edward and Bella by any stretch of the imagination, but pulling a close second for me is the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich. A hilariously inept bounty hunter and THREE (well, two, until the between-the-numbers books are introduced) Hott men. Stephanie provides comic relief and Ranger, Morelli, and Diesel will fill any gaps that Edward may leave in your nighttime fantasy life. =P They’re listed in chronological order here: http://www.evanovich.com/plum_14jacket.html

    Enjoy!

  • feefifoto

    September 23, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    My kids and I just finished a year of listening to Harry Potter on CD, and we’re going through a similar withdrawal. I miss Harry, I miss the narrator. Is it too soon to start all over?

  • Laura

    September 23, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    I love the drivel!! I picked up the 3rd book in the Twilight series when waiting in a long line at Best Buy. Three chapters in I was addicted.

  • Andrea

    September 23, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    Oh how I, and my mommy friends all know the Twilight hangover. Well, you can read 200+ pages of her “5th book” Midnight Sun (Twilight from Edward’s perspective) on her website http://www.stepheniemeyer.com :) And her other book, The Host is pretty darn good too!

    Are you SERIOUS? 200+ pages? Andrea, I love you.

  • Christy

    September 23, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    Try the Scott Westerfield series to substitute for the Twilight books…I think there are four now:
    “Uglies”
    “Pretties”
    “Specials”
    and
    “Extras”

    You can find them in the YA section of the bookstore or library.

    As a side note, I finished “Eclipse” last night and “Breaking Dawn” is on my nightstand waiting for me and I’m almost reluctant to start reading it because that will mean the end is coming soon!

  • Lanier

    September 23, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    WHOORL! You don’t know me but I’m a full on blog stalker of yours…so, uhm. Hi!

    At any rate, Andrea beat me to it, but here is the PDF of Midnight Sun: http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/pdf/midnightsun_partialdraft3.pdf

    Now, she’s Stephenie is threatening not to complete it b/c the draft was leaked. But who cares? It is 264 pages of sheer EDWARD GLORY. When I finished the series I went into full withdrawal and then found myself somehow hoping animal-blood-drinking vampires existed. WHAT is wrong with me? I don’t know…..but Midnight Sun will help you through the withdrawal symptoms. I promise.

  • Miwo

    September 23, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    Have you been drinking dear?

  • Joanna

    September 23, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    I don’t have any advice on what to read next. I just read the series over again after I finished the first time and felt that same emptiness in my life.

    I finally made myself stop for a while when I started to dream about vampires. So I get what you’re saying about sending out “come and get me” vibes.

  • Heather B.

    September 23, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    I just wanted to stop by to tell you that I had a dream about you last night. You didn’t do anything exciting, you just revamped your entire site and made it all glitzy and like you made out with a CSS coding book. Aaaand that about covers the dream. Thought you’d like to know…

  • ashley

    September 23, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    NINETEEN MINUTES!

    By Jodi Picoult!

    SO FREAKING AMAZINGLY AWESOMELY WONDERFUL!

    Okay, sorry to shout at you and all that, but it’s so well written and absolutely riveting. It’s a wee bit sad, but oh-so-good.

  • Jora

    September 23, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    I can’t help you on the book front….I have not read a novel since my first baby was born 3 years ago! OK, I read I Know This Much Is True, but I’m not sure if that’s the type of book you are looking for…Anyway, welcome back! I have missed reading your posts!!
    p.s. I hear you on the whole OC thing loud and clear.

  • Caleal

    September 23, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Uh… I haven’t read the twilight series, but I love Anne Rice and vampires, so I’m going to recommend something else vampire.

    Laurell K. Hamilton, the Anita Blake series. Vampires, lycanthropes, zombies, voodoo, magic, etc. Fun!

  • Candi

    September 23, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    Hello!
    I felt the exact same way as you are when I finished all of her books. I searched high and low and found some good recommendations.

    1. The Host written by Stephenie Meyer is pretty good after about the first 100 pages of booorrrinnnngggg writing.

    (these are in order of how much I liked them)

    2. The Sookie Stackhouse Series aka Southern Vampire Series by Charlaine Harris. Which is also the series that the new HBO series True Blood is based off.
    http://www.charlaineharris.com/bibliography/bibliog-sookie.html

    3. The Undead Series – Mary Janice Davidson – http://www.maryjanicedavidson.net/betsy.html

    4. House of Night Series – PC Cast & Kristen Cast

    I enjoyed all of them very much, although they weren’t quite the same as Edward and Bella. The characters in the Undead Series have some great chemistry and they are a bit more descriptive than Stephenie’s books :) If you like that kind of thing, lol.

    Hope you find something you like. If you find another good series be sure to share.

  • anna

    September 23, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    Thanks to you and several other bloggers talking about the Twilight series, I will soon know your pain (I’m on book 2). She has another book called “The Host,” I think that just came out. And yeah, it’s poorly written romance drivel, but yeah, I cannot put it down either.

  • Rachel

    September 23, 2008 at 7:22 pm

    I