Remember when I mentioned my generalized distaste for group exercise classes because of my red-face problem? I have been contemplating trying out this kickboxing class for months now, but I chicken out every single week. I am such a wimp! I just really don’t want to deal with people thinking I am dying and then proceeding to administer mouth-to-mouth for no reason. Then I thought, why am I being so vain? I know better than anyone else that nobody cares about me because everyone is worried about what THEY look like and to GET OVER MYSELF AND GET MY ASS TO CLASS. Well, I finally did it yesterday.

Help me.

I can’t walk. I can’t move. I can’t sit. I can’t poop. I don’t think I can go to work. The pain is permeating every cell in my body. Why did I think I could do 79 round-house kicks at full force on the first day? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? I should have listened to my body around the 40th minute- I was getting tired and achy, but I looked over and there was a 65 year-old lady all fresh-faced and glowy busting some serious power hooks with no problem and here I was, purple-faced, dripping in sweat and now seriously considering that whole mouth-to-mouth option. Well, there was no way in hell I was going to stop then…I’ve got thirty-five years on that lady! I power walk! I circuit train! Screw this shit! You wanna go, little lady? How bout this? DOUBLE KICK! And some of this! JAB JAB HOOK! Don’t forget this! TRIPLE ROUND HOUSE KICK- HI YAAA!

Clearly, I have some competitive issues. Trust me, I’m paying for them.

On a completely unrelated note, has anyone tried the fiesta chicken and vegetable salad from Trader Joe’s? By God, it is the best salad I have ever put in my mouth. You must try it pronto.