Yesterday’s shrieky clip was nothing. Child’s play. Light and Breezy.

I am now caring for Shriek 2.0, a much louder and shall we say, guttural shriek. However, I do possess an item that stops the shriek dead in its tracks.

See that green button on the front of the train? When your child presses that illuminated button, one of the most annoying, high-pitched voices in the history of mankind starts up with some “All Aboard the Animal Train” bullshit. Wito likes to press this button repeatedly, as in repeatedly for days on end, over and over and OVER until I notice a little trail of blood seeping out of my ear canal.

This train causes some sort of curious phenomenon that renders Wito speechless. I tend to believe it’s the high-pitched racket slowly killing every neuron in his little brain. Whatevs.

Here’s the caveat- my special train sounds subtly more annoying than what is advertised. Take a listen for yourself. Not too bad, no? I mean, yes, it’s annoying as hell, but feasible. Now listen to mine.

My train conductor is coked up. Must be the Southern Californian version – talk about target demographics!