All Aboard!

Yesterday’s shrieky clip was nothing. Child’s play. Light and Breezy.

I am now caring for Shriek 2.0, a much louder and shall we say, guttural shriek. However, I do possess an item that stops the shriek dead in its tracks.


See that green button on the front of the train? When your child presses that illuminated button, one of the most annoying, high-pitched voices in the history of mankind starts up with some “All Aboard the Animal Train” bullshit. Wito likes to press this button repeatedly, as in repeatedly for days on end, over and over and OVER until I notice a little trail of blood seeping out of my ear canal.

This train causes some sort of curious phenomenon that renders Wito speechless. I tend to believe it’s the high-pitched racket slowly killing every neuron in his little brain. Whatevs.

Here’s the caveat- my special train sounds subtly more annoying than what is advertised. Take a listen for yourself. Not too bad, no? I mean, yes, it’s annoying as hell, but feasible. Now listen to mine.

My train conductor is coked up. Must be the Southern Californian version – talk about target demographics!

  1. Married Jen

    March 29, 2007 at 9:31 am

    Whoa dude… That would drive me to drink. A lot. Not that I need a reason.

  2. Keri

    March 29, 2007 at 9:53 am

    My daughter has the same train – she is a year. When I listened to the fischer price version I thought it sounded slower than ours and then I listened to yours – mine sounds the same. It gets stuck in your head!

  3. Kimmer

    March 29, 2007 at 10:20 am

    Just not cool, but neither is a book called “Jonah and the Whale” with sound buttons on the side that can allow your son to make “god” say “Jonah” in this booming omnipotent voice over and over and over.

  4. Hilly

    March 29, 2007 at 10:55 am

    I’d be enveloped in my iPod, full time!


  5. don't call me ma'am

    March 29, 2007 at 10:56 am

    That sounds like Snow White on crack. Sorry for your ears!

  6. Donovan

    March 29, 2007 at 11:23 am

    When our daughter got her “Ride Along Musical Alphabet Bus” the volume on it was ridiculous. So I took it apart and put 8 layers of kleenex over the speaker, then it was nice and bearable.

  7. Lyndsay

    March 29, 2007 at 1:07 pm


  8. Erin Rae

    March 29, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    Did you know this train made that noise when it was purchased? Because, HOLY HELL.

    You are way more tolerant (and/or hearing impaired :-) than I would be. The dog just barked at the computer. Nice.

    Three words: Noise. Canceling. Earbuds.

    It was a gift from my parents. They don’t have to hear it, you see. :)

  9. BeachMama

    March 29, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    That is the most annoying toy I think I have ever heard. No, wait, I can beat that with a talking Buzz Lightyear door alarm. But, seriously, for young kid toys that is pretty annoying, I thought we had a few but none compare to that one.

  10. lini

    March 29, 2007 at 12:40 pm

    I swear, I did not listen to the audio before I bought it. I promise never to do that again. ps glad the train is in California!

  11. Jora

    March 29, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    Whatever you do, don’t get the LeapFrog singing alphabet kitchen magnet. Trust me.


  12. Beth

    March 29, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    I’m pretty sure I just wet myself.

    Oh. Holy. Mother. Of. God.

    You poor thing. You poor, poor thing!

    I’ve got a recording session tonight. Shall I try something a little more smoky and jazzy, a little “Come on board the animal train!” but more husky and slow?


  13. nabbalicious

    March 29, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    Oh, dear. I’m so sorry for you!

  14. metalia

    March 29, 2007 at 4:04 pm

    Oh…wow. I thought
    was bad but that train song? I’m pretty sure it’s what greets you at the gates of Hell.

  15. Irie

    March 29, 2007 at 5:48 pm

    Oh, that LeapFrog magnet is straight from hell.

    My two year old stopped watching his beloved Sesame Street and ran to my computer as soon as he heard the music from the animal train.