Friday Haiku

It frightens me that I’m finding it easier to express my feelings in haiku form than in basic sentences, but I feel the need to go with it. I’m glad to know that I will retain 4 readers.

Thus, I give you Whoorl’s Week in Haiku.

Man, there is a lot
of stink ass perfume out there
Nostril damage, yo

The end of the world
in 2012, no need
to tell me that, Mark

It is possible
to have blunt and sideswept bangs

is the most overused word
by pharma sales reps

Who cares if Twilight
is old news next Halloween
I will be Bella

D will be perfect
as Edward, with his vampire
Blue Steel model stare

My child did not poop
for eleven frickin’ days
Now it is shit city

The most perfect home
was this close to being ours
Up yours, New York man

However, he still
might be our landlord so I
better shut my mouth

When I get nervous
I chew my bottom lip, it
looks like shredded wheat

Wito needs to quit
with the guttural groaning
or it’s bitch slap time

I can’t believe it
but it actually feels
like fall in So Cal

I need to film a
hairstyle tutorial but
my voice kills kittens

Yes, I know I look
like Kristin Davis, yes I
hear it all day long

“People You May Know”
is the most horrifying
app found on Facebook

It’s like a collage
of ex-boyfriends and blind dates
No thank you, AWKWARD

I just wrote sixteen
haikus, now it is your turn
Hit me with your best

  1. slynnro

    December 5, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Oh Wah WAH WAH WAH
    I look like Kristin Davis
    Life is so so hard

    I bet you are so excited to see me now, huh? Since I’m so sweet!

  2. slynnro

    December 5, 2008 at 11:13 am

    oooh, and Bearca’s rocks.

  3. Dana

    December 5, 2008 at 11:35 am

    You are so funny
    wish I had your luscious hair
    (I am not a stalker)

  4. Angella

    December 5, 2008 at 11:37 am

    I suck at haiku
    But yours are so funny, I
    had to at least try

  5. Tricia

    December 5, 2008 at 11:51 am

    I liked your story
    of eleven days no poop
    made me laugh a lot

  6. Black Hockey Jesus

    December 5, 2008 at 11:53 am

    This is a comment
    and a haiku too! Left by
    Black Hockey Jesus

  7. rachel

    December 5, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    I love your Haikus- here’s my haiku for the week:

    my kids are still sick
    my house is a disaster
    I need a long nap

  8. ellbee

    December 5, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    I’m so glad you’re bringing back the haikus! I actually composed this one about a coworker a while ago…he frankly will not SHUT UP on any conference call, ever.

    wind through a cavern
    your mouth is a brook always
    babbling, shut up.

    And then about my day thus far:

    as solid as wood
    my head pounds a beat on the
    top of my desk, ow.

    happy weekend, everyone!

  9. Jaclyn

    December 5, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Damn you holidays
    With your nonstop snacks and drinks
    Now have bra strap fat.

  10. ~moe~

    December 5, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    How I love your blog.
    It makes me very happy
    So happy I cry

    But I’m probably
    just really tired from work
    so to bed I go

  11. Jeanmarie

    December 5, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    We have THE LICE!!
    BUGS! I cut her hair myself…
    Now it’s bi-level:-(

  12. Lindsey

    December 6, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    I can’t write poetry to save my life (though God knows I tried in high school, all melancholy) but the one with the bitch slap for all the guttural groaning? I nanny for three kids, and the 1 year old twins do that all. the. time. So that haiku cracked me up.

  13. Momo Fali

    December 7, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    Work, laundry, cleaning
    Not enough hours in a day
    This week kicked my ass

  14. Ninabi

    December 7, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    Your Spanish green beans
    were a hit on Thanksgiving
    my guests were most pleased.

    Love your style and your humor.

  15. Kerri Anne

    December 7, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    Holiday party:
    where drunk bosses kiss your cheeks.
    Not those ones. Sicko.

    A fan of advance
    Halloween costume planning,
    I’m going as junk mail.