Friday Haiku

It frightens me that I’m finding it easier to express my feelings in haiku form than in basic sentences, but I feel the need to go with it. I’m glad to know that I will retain 4 readers.

Thus, I give you Whoorl’s Week in Haiku.

Man, there is a lot
of stink ass perfume out there
Nostril damage, yo

The end of the world
in 2012, no need
to tell me that, Mark

It is possible
to have blunt and sideswept bangs

is the most overused word
by pharma sales reps

Who cares if Twilight
is old news next Halloween
I will be Bella

D will be perfect
as Edward, with his vampire
Blue Steel model stare

My child did not poop
for eleven frickin’ days
Now it is shit city

The most perfect home
was this close to being ours
Up yours, New York man

However, he still
might be our landlord so I
better shut my mouth

When I get nervous
I chew my bottom lip, it
looks like shredded wheat

Wito needs to quit
with the guttural groaning
or it’s bitch slap time

I can’t believe it
but it actually feels
like fall in So Cal

I need to film a
hairstyle tutorial but
my voice kills kittens

Yes, I know I look
like Kristin Davis, yes I
hear it all day long

“People You May Know”
is the most horrifying
app found on Facebook

It’s like a collage
of ex-boyfriends and blind dates
No thank you, AWKWARD

I just wrote sixteen
haikus, now it is your turn
Hit me with your best

  1. Ariel

    December 5, 2008 at 8:40 am

    I hate facebook- I’m currently on a hiatus from it. In a month or two I’ll give into the importuning of friends and family and then they’ll keep sending me a bunch of stupid requests and I’ll get really sick of it again. GA! and don”t get me started on all the LDS people I used to go to church with who want to “save” me. I LIKE being eternally damned!
    Stupid facebook.

  2. FK

    December 5, 2008 at 8:42 am

    I seriously
    Can’t stop laughing right now, you
    Are cracking me up.

  3. Jora

    December 5, 2008 at 8:44 am

    This was absolutely your BEST POST EVER!!! I wish I could write in haiku.

  4. jcristg

    December 5, 2008 at 8:53 am

    I drank too much wine
    Now my head hurts and it stinks
    That I have to work

  5. ashley.

    December 5, 2008 at 9:07 am

    It makes me feel better to know that you know you look like Kristen Davis.

    I can’t watch Sex & the City without thinking of you.

    How creepy is that?

  6. Camels & Chocolate

    December 5, 2008 at 9:09 am

    This, among so many other reasons, is why I heart you.

    Especially for the shit city comment.

    And I’ve never really thought about the Kristin Davis comment–she’s pretty and all, but in all seriousness, you are a hundred times hotter. And more stylish.

  7. Catherine

    December 5, 2008 at 9:14 am

    Hey, I know this is random, but I remembered reading on your blog that you loved Charley Harper. Have you checked out Old Navy online lately? They have clothes and books and puzzles and even a coloring book by him. Just wanted to let you know in case you hadn’t seen it!

  8. RA

    December 5, 2008 at 9:15 am

    No boss today, so
    Early dismissal for me!
    Hooray for haiku.

  9. Shannon

    December 5, 2008 at 9:39 am

    Puked on during my sleep
    Late for work as usual
    My birthday is Sun.

    You are the Haiku master! Toddler constipation sucks. And so does Exorcist-like puke at 1am. I must really love my daughter. :)Soaked in vomit, I bathed her, soothed her and got her back to bed while Hubby changed the sheets and broke out the Pedialyte.
    Maybe you can make that a haiku? :)
    You are effing awesome.
    Smooches…you know, in a friendly way. Not creepy. Promise!

  10. Mysh

    December 5, 2008 at 9:51 am

    Love your writing Whoorl
    You’re a funny So Cal girl
    Haiku is good too

  11. Rebecca (Bearca)

    December 5, 2008 at 9:53 am

    I can’t stop shopping
    Stores, please stop sending coupons
    Bearca is going broke

  12. Anonymous New York

    December 5, 2008 at 10:23 am

    You freaking rock.

    Planning a party
    and still so much prep to do.
    Need a glass of wine.

  13. Blythe

    December 5, 2008 at 10:31 am

    One year I wrote our
    Christmas letter in haiku.
    This year, wrote nothing.

  14. metalia

    December 5, 2008 at 10:33 am

    I really can’t wait
    To see your and D’s costumes
    I may pee my pants.

  15. Kristabella

    December 5, 2008 at 11:10 am

    My nephew groaned too
    Was the weirdest thing ever
    Now he has stopped, weird

    You rock the Haiku
    I cannot do it justice
    I love your new bangs