It frightens me that I’m finding it easier to express my feelings in haiku form than in basic sentences, but I feel the need to go with it. I’m glad to know that I will retain 4 readers.
Thus, I give you Whoorl’s Week in Haiku.
Man, there is a lot
of stink ass perfume out there
Nostril damage, yo
The end of the world
in 2012, no need
to tell me that, Mark
It is possible
to have blunt and sideswept bangs
concomitantly
“Concomitantly”
is the most overused word
by pharma sales reps
Who cares if Twilight
is old news next Halloween
I will be Bella
D will be perfect
as Edward, with his vampire
Blue Steel model stare
My child did not poop
for eleven frickin’ days
Now it is shit city
The most perfect home
was this close to being ours
Up yours, New York man
However, he still
might be our landlord so I
better shut my mouth
When I get nervous
I chew my bottom lip, it
looks like shredded wheat
Wito needs to quit
with the guttural groaning
or it’s bitch slap time
I can’t believe it
but it actually feels
like fall in So Cal
I need to film a
hairstyle tutorial but
my voice kills kittens
Yes, I know I look
like Kristin Davis, yes I
hear it all day long
“People You May Know”
is the most horrifying
app found on Facebook
It’s like a collage
of ex-boyfriends and blind dates
No thank you, AWKWARD
I just wrote sixteen
haikus, now it is your turn
Hit me with your best
Ariel
December 5, 2008 at 8:40 amI hate facebook- I’m currently on a hiatus from it. In a month or two I’ll give into the importuning of friends and family and then they’ll keep sending me a bunch of stupid requests and I’ll get really sick of it again. GA! and don”t get me started on all the LDS people I used to go to church with who want to “save” me. I LIKE being eternally damned!
Stupid facebook.
FK
December 5, 2008 at 8:42 amI seriously
Can’t stop laughing right now, you
Are cracking me up.
Jora
December 5, 2008 at 8:44 amThis was absolutely your BEST POST EVER!!! I wish I could write in haiku.
jcristg
December 5, 2008 at 8:53 amI drank too much wine
Now my head hurts and it stinks
That I have to work
ashley.
December 5, 2008 at 9:07 amIt makes me feel better to know that you know you look like Kristen Davis.
I can’t watch Sex & the City without thinking of you.
How creepy is that?
Camels & Chocolate
December 5, 2008 at 9:09 amThis, among so many other reasons, is why I heart you.
Especially for the shit city comment.
And I’ve never really thought about the Kristin Davis comment–she’s pretty and all, but in all seriousness, you are a hundred times hotter. And more stylish.
Catherine
December 5, 2008 at 9:14 amHey, I know this is random, but I remembered reading on your blog that you loved Charley Harper. Have you checked out Old Navy online lately? They have clothes and books and puzzles and even a coloring book by him. Just wanted to let you know in case you hadn’t seen it!
RA
December 5, 2008 at 9:15 amNo boss today, so
Early dismissal for me!
Hooray for haiku.
Shannon
December 5, 2008 at 9:39 amPuked on during my sleep
Late for work as usual
My birthday is Sun.
You are the Haiku master! Toddler constipation sucks. And so does Exorcist-like puke at 1am. I must really love my daughter. :)Soaked in vomit, I bathed her, soothed her and got her back to bed while Hubby changed the sheets and broke out the Pedialyte.
Maybe you can make that a haiku? :)
You are effing awesome.
Smooches…you know, in a friendly way. Not creepy. Promise!
Mysh
December 5, 2008 at 9:51 amLove your writing Whoorl
You’re a funny So Cal girl
Haiku is good too
Rebecca (Bearca)
December 5, 2008 at 9:53 amI can’t stop shopping
Stores, please stop sending coupons
Bearca is going broke
Anonymous New York
December 5, 2008 at 10:23 amYou freaking rock.
Planning a party
and still so much prep to do.
Need a glass of wine.
Blythe
December 5, 2008 at 10:31 amOne year I wrote our
Christmas letter in haiku.
This year, wrote nothing.
metalia
December 5, 2008 at 10:33 amI really can’t wait
To see your and D’s costumes
I may pee my pants.
Kristabella
December 5, 2008 at 11:10 amMy nephew groaned too
Was the weirdest thing ever
Now he has stopped, weird
You rock the Haiku
I cannot do it justice
I love your new bangs