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Friday Haiku

It frightens me that I’m finding it easier to express my feelings in haiku form than in basic sentences, but I feel the need to go with it. I’m glad to know that I will retain 4 readers.

Thus, I give you Whoorl’s Week in Haiku.

Man, there is a lot
of stink ass perfume out there
Nostril damage, yo

The end of the world
in 2012, no need
to tell me that, Mark

It is possible
to have blunt and sideswept bangs
concomitantly

“Concomitantly”
is the most overused word
by pharma sales reps

Who cares if Twilight
is old news next Halloween
I will be Bella

D will be perfect
as Edward, with his vampire
Blue Steel model stare

My child did not poop
for eleven frickin’ days
Now it is shit city

The most perfect home
was this close to being ours
Up yours, New York man

However, he still
might be our landlord so I
better shut my mouth

When I get nervous
I chew my bottom lip, it
looks like shredded wheat

Wito needs to quit
with the guttural groaning
or it’s bitch slap time

I can’t believe it
but it actually feels
like fall in So Cal

I need to film a
hairstyle tutorial but
my voice kills kittens

Yes, I know I look
like Kristin Davis, yes I
hear it all day long

“People You May Know”
is the most horrifying
app found on Facebook

It’s like a collage
of ex-boyfriends and blind dates
No thank you, AWKWARD

I just wrote sixteen
haikus, now it is your turn
Hit me with your best

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39 comments
  1. Steph S.

    December 7, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    finals week is here
    and with it there is no cheer
    just coffee breakouts. :(

    feel better!

  2. Karen MEG

    December 8, 2008 at 7:58 am

    Holy Haiku Whoorl
    Randomness is beautiful
    At least most of it

    [ie. the shit story, though funny, is sorta gross. Poor little pooper ;( ]

  3. Velma

    December 8, 2008 at 5:46 pm

    As I read this post
    the crappy load of my day
    vanished quickly

  4. Lin

    December 8, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    Jesus Christ on a
    Bicycle, Wito’s Mother,
    Make your readers work.

    I’m still pondering
    Eleven days of waiting
    And then the paydirt?

    Next time Miss Sarah
    Perhaps the challenge of a
    Well tortured cinquain?

  5. Michelle

    December 8, 2008 at 10:56 pm

    Oh Rob Pattinson,
    Why weren’t you born in 74?
    Just call me Cougar!

  6. Michele in Atlanta

    December 9, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    That was hysterical

    Here’s mine:

    I woke up at 3
    And it burned so much to pee
    Hate those UTIs!

  7. Kaleigha

    December 10, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    I think you are prettier than Kristin Davis, too.

    I love to read Whoorl
    I’m saving up for BlogHer
    But don’t hold your breath.

  8. Caroline

    December 10, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    I feel I’m freezing
    In sunny San Diego
    East Coast tough no more

  9. Haley-O

    December 11, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    so true about “concomitantly”! And, we should all talk and write in Haiku form all the time. This was great!