Can You Have it All?

This week has been rough. I’m feeling a little overextended. A little out of it. A little homesick. A little lost. Definitely not on top of things like my usual self. (Sorry I didn’t realize you had a school schedule change today, Wito! I swear I wrote it down somewhere….)

This always happens when I return home from Oklahoma. In Oklahoma, family takes precedence. Grandparents, parents, sisters, brothers, cousins…time with them is paramount. Swimming, barbecues, sitting around and actually TALKING to one another. I’m pretty good at putting everything else on hold because it’s my family. Family is the trump card.

The minute I step off the plane in California, things change. We have our little family, but not much of an extended one. Careers take precedence. We want to buy our dream house someday. We need to do more, more, more. Work, work, work. Save, save, save. I have so much shit on my plate that even the most mundane requests from my children make me feel like I might explode. I’m lucky, though. We have a nanny that helps three days a week. My kids call me her name, though. It stings.

Our little family takes the hit, it seems.

We don’t have that family anchor to pull us back down and say, “Hey. What matters most?” Basically, to keep us from a complete tailspin. I always joke with D that “I’m an island.” Don’t need anyone! Perfectly fine being the world’s greatest taskmaster! Who needs family and friends around? Pshaw.

It’s just hard, you know?

I want my family to be a constant presence in our life.

But I want to live in California.

I want my kids to feel like I’m there for them every minute of the day.

But I want to work.

I want to be able to put my blog/online endeavors on the back burner once in awhile.

But I want the opportunities and new experiences that this blog is giving to me.

I want to never complain about my life. To be completely cognizant of how lucky/blessed/whatever you call it I am.

But from the looks of this post, I can’t.

I want it all. Can you have it all?

Thanks for visiting Complaints City! We’ll return to posts about lip gloss and accessories very soon. And I promise not to have a nervous breakdown.

  • Molly

    June 15, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Wow…what a beautiful, poignant post….and man, do I feel you.


  • Helen Jane

    June 15, 2012 at 10:08 am

    (These could be my words.)
    I hear you. It takes so much WORK to live here.
    So much internal focus, so much discipline.
    It’s exhausting.

    The opportunities are limitless, but the toll it takes can’t be ignored.

    Take care of you on reentry, lady.

  • agirlandaboy

    June 15, 2012 at 10:13 am

    So much of this is so familiar. I keep hoping there’s a permanent solution out there, but until I find it, I just have to take it day by day–the work, the family, and the focus on how lucky I am to have what I have, even if I sometimes want to run away from it.

  • Heather Dusek

    June 15, 2012 at 10:13 am

    I’m confident that your type A/B personality will kick back in soon. Everyone has days like this. You are “Super Sarah”! I’ve actually considered e-mailing you to see how you do it all. I have two kids and work full time and I feel like I fail at doing all that my OCD mind wants. It’s an ongoing struggle but, what I’ve learned is, we do the best we can and that has to be good enough. :)

    Hugs from Houston, TX
    Heather Dusek

  • schmutzie

    June 15, 2012 at 10:14 am

    I struggle with juggling this fantastic mess of work/home/self, too, and it’s a definite life skill that needs to be learned.

    You’ll get there, Sarah, you really will.

    And so will I. Right?

  • justJENN

    June 15, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Exactly on everything. xo.

  • Amy

    June 15, 2012 at 10:19 am

    I don’t have any words of wisdom, other than I get that feeling of being so behind on everything and feeling like you’re going to lose your shit. I hope you’re able to find some time to give yourself a break today. Be nice to yourself.

  • lisa

    June 15, 2012 at 10:20 am

    :) Your a trooper! I’m sorry today is a what I call an “off” day. Everyone has them and ya know….manana will be a NEW day and a fresh new start! Sometimes letting yourself feel all of “it” is the best way to go! Thank you for being so open and sharing :) I think your amazing and respect and appreciate your honesty! XXOO

  • Beth Anne

    June 15, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I am secretly so happy to see this because you always seem so calm & together!

    & that backburner but oh man, the new opportunities? I’m so there.

    The kids versus work versus wanting more but wanting to relax & OH DEAR GOD, the mortgage lender is calling again & there’s Donuts for Dad at school & a project due by EOD.

    Needless to say, I’m picking up what you’re putting down.

  • ctmomof3

    June 15, 2012 at 10:27 am

    let me know when you figure out the answers, I’d love to hear. same boat here, 3 kids, working full-time, struggling to stay sane, but immensely thankful for all I have, even tho at times it’s way.too.much.

  • Rebecca

    June 15, 2012 at 10:28 am

    No you can’t! For me there is always SOMETHING that is getting neglected, my kids, my house, my husband, my job, or school. I can’t keep up with everything all the time but I can do most things most of the time!

  • Heather B.

    June 15, 2012 at 10:40 am

    I am right there with you. I’ve been having a reeeeeeeeeeally hard time with balance and wanting to do what makes me happy. I feel like there are things that I want and should do but can’t because of other things and this continues in some vicious cycle until I end up in the fetal position. Doing nothing. It’s hard. I appreciate your candor in talking about trying to do everything and make yourself/your family happy.


  • Monica

    June 15, 2012 at 10:41 am

    Thanks for keeping it real Sarah. We also live in an area without immediate family. It is hard to feel disconnected from your roots. Just love on your babes.

  • Angella

    June 15, 2012 at 11:03 am

    I totally hear you friend. Before I left the firm in May I was about ready to explode from all that I was trying to do.

    Hang in there. Love you.

  • gorillabuns

    June 15, 2012 at 11:08 am

    dude. living is just hard and painfully stressful. sometimes there are bright spots that occur that make it all worthwhile.

  • berlin hair baby

    June 15, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Oh, I adore this post and understand completely – you articulated it so well. I know many amazing women struggling with this same issue. My very best friend (also a ‘sarah’ :-) has her own business and is so talented yet craves more time with her daughter and family. So just a virtual hug to say you’re not alone xo bhb

    • bishop stu tu

      June 15, 2012 at 11:31 am

      whOOrl gOOrl,

      Whether itsa’ Blue Bird Day or a Stormy Monday (tuesday’s just the same…bobby blue bland)…we all are stand square dab behind you, all the way, each and every day.

      Having you home is probably all the heaven this ol’papa gets. I’ll take it, thank you muchly.

      Anyhoo…not every person can do what you do…not that they need to…but hey wouldn’t it be loverlee if family-type support was always there from all around you. But, in its stead, should be the knowledge that your rootage’ will always be there standing behind you…forever applauding.

      da bishop

      • Torrie @ a place to share...

        June 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

        his comment got me all tear-eyed.

        i understand what you’re going through… on so many, many levels.

        the battle between working & staying home… rising to the ‘top’ (where i seemed to be trying to go in my old life) & staying put. near family or away… living at the location of your dreams & compromising (or settling)… staying on top of it all (url-wise) at the sake of ignoring husband, kids, home, gym……. feeling happy & grateful & feeling like a big (or many small) change is in order… more kids & no more kids… all battles that i deal with on a daily basis or have in the past.

        may sound over-simplistic (or “oprah” :)), but what helps me is this… deep inside i know what i need to be doing (where i need to place my focus/energy) at any given moment. when i stick to that (“inner compass”), i **eventually get to the place that i need to be- or at least back on track and heading in that direction. … and the answers (if i’m in need of them in relation to any of the above “battles”) eventually come.


      • whoorl

        June 15, 2012 at 4:43 pm

        I couldn’t have asked for a better dad. So proud to call da Bishop mine!

        • narmalie

          June 18, 2012 at 8:16 am

          Your dad is such a great cheerleader. :) I’m a fan of da bishop. And I hear you on this post. I don’t really know whether it’s possible to have it all… but the older I get, and as far from my parents as I am, the more I want to move closer to where they are. I really want that for my kids, and, selfishly, for myself. I’m more grounded when I’m with family. It really seems to balance everything to have them close.

  • Jen

    June 15, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Always always feeling you on the “I want to live in California, but I don’t want to miss out on raising my baby by both of us having to work so damn hard to afford even a simple life.” So grateful for all I have, but definitely wanting more down time. More us time. More family time. I don’t think it will ever feel enough.

  • Caroline Cohenour

    June 15, 2012 at 11:20 am

    You, my dear, have a flair for writing. Such a great post. I adore you!

  • Caroline

    June 15, 2012 at 11:26 am

    I don’t have kids yet, and my family is only 3 hours away, but I understand what you’re feeling. My family lives down the same dirt road, for Pete’s sake, so I’m constantly dealing with feeling a little left out of their day-to-day activities. And I miss living in the country, with the slow pace and emphasis on the people around you. But I LOVE Austin, I love my friend family, I love having easy access to a really interesting city.

    So, anyway, I feel ya.

  • Sarah

    June 15, 2012 at 11:26 am

    As my mother – who retired, just yesterday, from a 30+ year nursing career – once told me, “Yes, you can have it all, but never all at the same time.”

    The post-visit letdown is tough. Hang in there. Wallow, even! I promise to send help if you start pinning flannel shirts and Toast of New York lipstick on your Pinterest boards. :)

  • Kate

    June 15, 2012 at 11:34 am

    I actually prefer these posts to ones on accessories, beauty etc. because they remind me of your first blog posts ages ago–and as you/your blog always look so perfect, it just makes you feel more real:) For my part, whenever I have mama angst, I buy a new cookbook thinking that will transform my entire work/family balance. Right now I am reading Dinner: A Love Story. It never quite does the trick, but I have a nice cookbook collection.

  • rosie @ rosalicious

    June 15, 2012 at 11:36 am

    I so know what you mean! We recently made the choice to give up our cushy jobs and a cute house we owned in Colorado to move back east to be close to family and have a baby. At the time it felt like we were “giving up” so much, but now that we’re here, I realize we didn’t have to really give anything up… we just put some of it (the jobs, the house) on hold. I don’t think we can have it all, but it’s OK if we don’t!

  • Ally

    June 15, 2012 at 11:36 am

    I’ve only been reading your blog for a day, but you have already touched my heart (& my purse with that texturising spray!).

    Although it seems so hard right now, it will be worth it. Your children are going to grow up to respect you as your own person….not just as mum (mom to you). You ARE your own person, you are multi-faceted with talent in major doses. When they get your name wrong now, that will all be forgetten when they are in their 20’s and realising that you are an amazing role model to them.

    Keep reaching high, it’s what you were born to do xxx

  • Linda

    June 15, 2012 at 11:39 am

    I think it’s hard no matter where you are in life or what stage of adulthood you’re in. I’m 31, single, no kids. I work full-time and have a hard time balancing professional obligations, {quality} friend and family time, and carving out a little “me” time. I’m constantly asking myself if I’m doing enough: Enough work, preparing, saving for the future. Enough to be there for my friends when they need me. Enough to develop adult relationships with my siblings. Enough. All we can really do though is be present in today and now. And know that that is, in fact, enough.

  • Lacey McDonald

    June 15, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Thank you for the honesty and transparency. Being a woman & a mother can basically suck. We inherently have the guilt and the desire to break the glass ceiling and all that other crap. I’ve been where you are and can only leave you with something that inspired me to change my life. Someone told me that you’ll never regret taking the time to slow down and be fully present for your kids at a young age, but down the road you may regret the other choices you made that didn’t allow you to do it.

    I don’t know what that would look like in your life, but for me it was reducing our income by more than half (I was the bread winner) and simplifying and putting material dreams on hold for now. Honestly the first 8 months I hated it. I was still in stress mode trying to run my home like an empire, but I gradually figured it out. I’m not saying its all me, but people always comment on how my daughter is the best 3 year old they’ve ever seen. I feel like I really know my daughter and I’m not just her caretaker. We’re more content as a family and we don’t just look forward to quality time together on vacation days.

    Good luck in your quest and know you are not alone.

  • linette

    June 15, 2012 at 11:46 am

    Certainly can relate. And when I get in that mode where I feel like I can’t stop complaining about one thing or another, I remember this quote: “Do not spoil what you currently have by desiring what you have not; remember what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Helps to put things in perspective and is really true.

  • Brooke R.

    June 15, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Being in California has been hardest for me because of the distance from my family. I totally understand that and missing them isn’t something that ever goes away. I hope that your days become more rhythmic and that you are able to find a balance that works for you right now. Life is always changing. :)

  • Jen

    June 15, 2012 at 11:56 am

    I’m a “stay-at-home” mom who homeschools (2 boys, 9 & 11), so I can’t speak exactly to your situation, but I can offer this: if the majority of the time (85-90%) you feel that things are going well in your world, then you can probably just consider this day part of the 10-15% flukey stuff. I believe that every mom has difficult/doubt-inducing days from time to time. Sometimes it’s because something really needs attention, and sometimes it’s because, well, some days are just crappy. You obviously care and are aware enough to discern the difference. I hope you are feeling back to center soon!

  • Raluca | WhatWouldGwynethDo

    June 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Ah…I know it well. We are headed back home on Tuesday for a week-long visit and the EXACT same emotions always come up. I don’t even have much to say about it, just know you’re not the only one in that boat. xx

  • Leslie

    June 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    Hey, it’s ok to fall apart sometimes, to drop a ball. Sometimes things are not in balance and yes, you can have it all, but not all at once. It’s the ebb and flow of life. I heard once that balance is less like a see saw and more like a gyroscope. We are just rotating around the center of what we think is the perfect life and sometimes we hit it, but mostly we are just spinning from one thing to another. It’s ok. That’s the fun of it. Also – I have family far away too and I know that my relationship is what it is because of that distance. When we visit, everyone drops everything and we are all together for a blissful week. If we lived there, it would be very different. It’s more intense this way, but it’s also more special. I used to fantasize about moving back, but I know I wouldn’t be happy. I have my home here in NY now.

  • Amanda

    June 15, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    It must be something about today because I am right there with you. I work from home and care for my son. For too-boring-to-get-into reasons, daycare has been nonexistent lately, and I hit my limit this morning after a client pushed a project back by two months. Took the kid to the mall where a teenager absentmindedly threw something at him, and I went ape. (The teen pretended not to have done it, which only incensed me more). I have been on a constant cycle of work, work, work, no social life, no downtime, no relaxing for too long, and I hit a point today where I realized that Changes Must Be Made. So, I start on that tomorrow. Right now, I’m going to have a beer b/c it’s his naptime and it’s five o’clock somewhere.

  • Dana

    June 15, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    I am right there with you. The older I get the more I realize how much time I’m missing with my family. It’s a bummer, to put it mildly.

  • Holly

    June 15, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    My advice, not that you are seeking advice really…don’t worry about the dream house, etc. I live in an 100 yr. old farmhouse. I gave up full-time position to be a foster mom and then found out I was soon to be a bio mom as well. Craziness. But our house building plans? Ehh, backburner is where they will stay. Nope my house, my clothes are far from what I would dream of but somehow my friends and family don’t really seem to care. I keep it clean, I declutter regularly for my peace of mind, and maybe I’ll get to that dream house someday but if not, oh well. Love my part-time job, hate that I have to turn down other opportunities but that is what I have to do right now to accomplish my other life goal of living for others. I doubt I’ll be in the nursing home bragging up that gorgeous stone lodge I lived at…I’ll be telling stories about how the kids drove me crazy and they will be visiting me there. Doubt the house will make it in to see me :)

    • whoorl

      June 15, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      You know, Holly, the minute I wrote that, I realized it didn’t convey exactly what I meant. To us, living in Southern California, our “dream home” basically consists of two things. 1. It has more than one bathroom, and 2. It costs less than a million dollars. Those two things combined are very hard to find around here! ;) We would ultimately just like to own a home in this crazy expensive place one day.

      • Holly

        June 16, 2012 at 8:01 am

        Oh geez, I live a very sheltered life. That’s crazy.

  • Kate P

    June 15, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. I don’t know if you can have it all, but this feeling must be going around because I am so with you. Hang in there!

  • Sara

    June 15, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    I might be in the minority here, but my answer would be no. You can’t have it all.
    For me that means I had to figure out what was most important to me at this stage of my life and have that. Not just have it, but work really hard and put everything else on hold so that I can say that in this one thing I am as successful as I wanted to be. I, personally, cannot spread myself thin and feel good. I cannot sleep well with so many balls up in the air. I know we only live once, but I want to live fully once, not in bits and pieces. It was a tough decision, but it was the right one for me. Also, I am not motivated by money or career, so it makes that part a little easier!

  • whoorl

    June 15, 2012 at 1:41 pm


    Wow. First off, thank you so much for your comments. You guys never fail to put things into perspective and make me feel 100% supported. You’ve been there! You’ve really been there! You also never fail to make me think, and for that, you rock the casbah.

    I have lots to say about my struggle with trying to make it all work, especially in regards to this space. It’s been on my mind a lot lately, so I would love to address the comments about how this post is refreshing because I’m “keeping it real” and not all polly polished and perfect, if you don’t mind.

    Trust me, you guys, I get it. I GET IT. I know my blog content has definitely shifted over the past few years, and I definitely struggle with wanting to write more stories like the good ol’ days and finding a balance between the two. It’s something that I think about ALL. THE. TIME. I don’t want this website to seem like “it’s always so perfect,” although I totally understand how all the photos and recent videos make the site seem a bit “glossed over,” if you will. It’s just…complicated, I guess. Years ago, I didn’t have as much on the line, career-wise. (Dude. Does this even make sense?)

    What I’m trying to say is that, in regards to blogging, I’m trying to figure this all out as best as I can. I want to write more about the day-to-day because I love the community it creates around here, but it’s just about finding the time to do it amidst the other projects. (Which I really love too!) Not to mention the best and most important “project” of all, my kids.

    Phew! Just know that I truly value all of your thoughts and opinions, and you all have lifted my chin a little bit higher today. Happy weekend, you smart, smart women.

    • Calee

      June 15, 2012 at 2:24 pm

      I know the feeling and the biggest move was to hire help. The 3x week nanny (who also cleans!) is awesome. I brought in an assistant to handle some of the work related things I can delegate. After reading a FANTASTIC book on “having it all” called 168 Hours (I think Brenda currently has my spare copy– I pass this baby to everyone) I learned to focus on core competencies and either let the others slide or hand them off to someone who can do them better. There will be days that are crazy but when you think about time in weekly units, it seems to be easier to find balance. Take care!

    • Torrie @ a place to share...

      June 16, 2012 at 7:56 am

      xoxo (nuff said :))

  • Christen

    June 15, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Honestly, this was really refreshing because it has looked like you seemlessly move from work trip to carpool pick up to family vacation and I’m sitting here going, “Why can’t I find the time to vaccuum my damn bedroom?” It’s not that I delight in someone else’s stress, but it’s just comforting to know that EVERYONE struggles a little now and then.

    And for what it’s worth, I think the fact that you acknowledge all the good adn all you have to be grateful for shows that you haven’t gone crazy or haven’t lost sight of what’s important. You’re just saying that “There’s a lot of good, but right now the not-good is kicking my butt.” That’s not selfish; it’s real.

  • ashley

    June 15, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    I relate to this so much. I just never can put it into words.

  • Amanda Brown

    June 15, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    Your dad’s comment made me well up, since I am lucky for the same sort of unfailing love and support from a distance from my parents.

    You are human, you are amazing, you are asking all the right questions.

  • karin

    June 15, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    Thank you for putting into words my feelings.

  • Kristen Howerton

    June 15, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    Thia post made me well up a bit (and then your dad went and sealed the deal). I am in the same place, for sure. I am either in work mode or vacation mode. It’s hard to find the everyday in-between and to stop and make time when there are things to do. But there are always “things to do”, right? HARD.

    Anyways, you are not alone. In feeling like this, or in general. And if we need to come over to your pool to be the people who distract you into vacation mode, then, well . . . I guess that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. ;)

  • Sarah Berry

    June 16, 2012 at 7:29 am

    I think these low and confusing times in our lives are little signs and reminders to wake us up to what’s not quite working. Obviously no one can really answer the question other than you, but I bet deep down a somewhat-better solution is lurking in you – you just need to unearth it.

    The fact that you got smacked in the face with confusion and sadness was just life telling you to alter you life a little bit. Be sure not to blame yourself for this – just see it as a sign, not a weakness, and tweak a few things.

    I’m just like you in the “I’m an island… I need no help, etc” stuff and I’ve been like that forever. But 3/4 of the way through my last pregnancy (last Dec) I was rushed to the ER and then put on full bed rest (with a toddler at home) for the rest of the pregnancy. In the end I felt like it was life forcing me to learn that it’s ok to start asking for help. I didn’t have another option (other than to ask for help) and I never would have learned the lesson if left to my own devices.

    As for opportunities, I would just say this: Take a step back from the hamster wheel and have faith that even if you pass on one or two opportunities now and then, more will come around the corner. You’re talented and hard working – that will always be rewarded. Also, all of the opportunities will feel better if you know that you were happier along the way.

    Much love.

  • NayNay

    June 16, 2012 at 11:50 am

    We don’t know what tomorrow brings. This reminder might help anyone who wonders what to do next – where to direct ones efforts and love. What is most important?

  • Kamron Robert

    June 17, 2012 at 4:26 am

    I think, you’re enjoying. So, i wish your dreams will be implement.

  • Roxanna

    June 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Oh, Sarah. I completely understand — our families are far away too — and work, and just everything. When you said that “I have so much shit on my plate that even the most mundane requests from my children make me feel like I might explode. I’m lucky, though. We have a nanny that helps three days a week.”

    Well, that’s EXACTLY my life. And that feels so wrong, because why can’t I find the time to play Wii with the kids?

    I don’t have the answers — obviously! — but just know that I understand.

  • yours truly, melissa

    June 17, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Like you I’m from Oklahoma and I actually lived in California for three years – just south of you in the San Diego area. And I loved, loved, LOVED California. Still do. What’s not to love? It’s a beautiful state, the ocean, the weather, the lifestyle, the mentality. It’s a fantastic place. But I completely understand the homesick part…I missed my family. I missed my lifelong friends and I never really knew if I’d move back to Oklahoma. I always thought it’d be absolutely perfect if I could transport my nearest and dearest back to California and we’d all live happily ever after.

    Well after a turn of events I found myself back home in Oklahoma. And it is really, really great to be back home near those I love the most. I miss California too. I miss living near a BIG city and all the culture and amenities that only big cites can offer. So I don’t know if you can have it all! But for now there’s always comfort in knowing that my next adventure (or for you, a trip to see your family) is a plane ride away. Sure it’s not the most affordable or weeknight accessible, but it’s there and that’s comforting.

  • Nor Cal Girl

    June 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Unfortunately, you can’t have it all and do it all well. That is where the problem lies. At the end of the day you need to decide what is really important. Is blogging about hair, lip gloss and accessories more important than your family? You can’t get back the time you don’t spend with your children. They don’t really care that you are working hard to buy a house. They just know that mom is not present, either emotionally or physically. Living in Orange County can be so fake. Many people there have their priorities confused with what is really important. They want “things” and “more things”. Things don’t make us happy. I know this may sound awful but maybe if your work time was actually spent on something more meaningful you might feel better about it. The best gift you will ever receive is when your grown children send you a letter telling you how important it was that you were always there for them. It is not easy being a women. Your generation has been told that you can have it all – work and family – unfortunately, there just aren’t that many hours in a day to do them both well. I choose to live in a place that is not as expensive so that I have the freedom to make choices that are right for me and my family not driven by financial concerns. Hopefully, you will be able to sort out what is really important to you and your family and make it happen. Let’s just hope you don’t waste the precious time you have with your small children. They will grow up in a blink of an eye. Again, just remember you can’t get that time back no matter how hard you try. Good Luck!

  • Kelli Oliver George

    June 18, 2012 at 5:30 am

    I long determined that I could not have it all.

    But it doesn’t mean that I do not want it.

  • Stephanie Precourt

    June 18, 2012 at 7:28 am

    I hear you loud and clear, mostly because you are speaking my language. Also, hoping this is not insane but I absolutely dreamed about you last night, I have no idea why, you had a very nice house in my dream, and seemed quite together. If that is some sort of sign I am supposed to send to you!


  • sizzle

    June 18, 2012 at 7:39 am

    I don’t know if we can have it all. I’ve tried and as a Type A person everyone thinks I’ve got it together and then I crack into a blubbering mess under the weight of it all. I’m not a mom yet but I imagine that’s the hardest part to balance.

    Sometimes I have to say no to things so that I can say yes to myself, my sanity, and what really matters (the people I love). You’re not alone in this!

  • Sarah

    June 18, 2012 at 7:53 am

    I live a very slow life in Kentucky and co-blog with a dear friend who lives in California. I recently visited her and totally connected with your piece. Everything just seemed to require so much more effort but… at the same time there is so much more access. Tough one.

  • Janssen

    June 18, 2012 at 11:17 am

    We have the same struggle – we live far away from our families, but feel the opportunities are better here. Such a difficult question.

  • Lisa

    June 18, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Just chiming in to say, I know how you feel. We actually left California to move closer to family for these very reasons and I have to say…I *really* miss California (no, like, REALLY miss it!), but it’s invaluable (to us)for our kids to have extended family in their daily/weekly lives and I figure, they are so small now (3 and 5) and this time is so fleeting that we had to make that choice right now.
    Just hang in there. xoxo

  • Emily @ Peck Life

    June 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    I feel your pain sister….I wish I had good advice but there are many many days where I just want to move to the middle of nowhere (Oklahoma does sound nice) and be free with no busy/bills/house/mortgage/commuting and city life to stress me out. And I only have one kid so far….sigh…..

  • Katie J.

    June 18, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    Hugs to you. Makes total sense. Love your honesty.

  • BeautyFrosting

    June 18, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    Oh, sug, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you!!! I am on the same page – only minus the husband and kiddos but want those someday too – as embarrassing as that is to admit out loud. Love California. But miss my family in Texas. Love opportunities from blogging and entertainment industry. But wish it could be simpler. Want to have it all. But doubt it everyday. All I’m saying (er, venting) is that I completely relate!! And if you ever need a fellow sympathetic soul, LA is not too far! Hope this week is much better for all of us! xoxo, BF

  • Christina O

    June 19, 2012 at 7:34 am

    I totally feel you on this one. Being pulled in so many directions. I have two kids, we work full time, and I would LOVE to work more on my freelance/creative side but am struggling to find the time. I’m greatful and happy but still craving more – so this post hits close to home. Thanks for the honesty. This post makes me love you/your blog even more.

  • Jill Browning

    June 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm


    (but our kids are only little once…)

  • Sarah

    June 26, 2012 at 12:56 am

    I am so so so late to this post because I have so much much much to do for work work work but Giiiiiirrrrrllll, I hear you!

    I feel the same way about all that you wrote. It’s insane. And fully awesome all at the same time. Since well, you are normal, I am normal and well, our feelings of wanting it all are normal. Yay us!

    My parents are coming to visit net week and I’m taking the week off work and will be in full-time mommy/family zone. Woo! So excited!

  • Heather

    July 2, 2012 at 11:49 am

    OK, so I am totally late to the party here, but I wanted to chime in because this is totally normal. Thanks for the honesty in this post. It makes me feel like I am not alone. Moms are busier than ever before. For me, I just have different aspirations than my own mom. She made being a SAHM look like a piece of cake – but then again she didn’t have the same goals and desires that I do. Basically it is self inflicted. but I rather enjoy the busy-ness of it all. (totally made that word up).