1. What is going on with women’s disposable razors these days? Neon colors! Glitter! Tropical scents! Who in the hell needs a disposable razor that smells like jasmine? Really, people? Is a scented razor handle truly going to take your showering experience to the next level? Will you breathe in its intoxicating scent between razor strokes? I’ll tell you what I’d like my disposable razor to do. How about SHAVE MY LEGS PROPERLY. I’m on to you, Women’s Disposable Razor Companies. Distract the consumer with bells and whistles to mask the fact that your razors are sucky. Best disposable razor I’ve ever used? Gillette Good News Plus. About as cheap as you can get, and they work like a smooth, nick-free charm.
2. Do you have an item/items of clothing that you hold onto for absolutely no reason? I have 6 pairs of J. Crew Everyday Chinos that sit year after year in a bin at the top of my closet. There’s certainly nothing wrong with J. Crew chinos, yet I haven’t worn them for 5 years now, and I don’t really see myself wearing them in the near future, so why can’t I just get rid of them? It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries. (Update: In a bag, ready for Goodwill today. Patting myself on back.)
3. I think my desperate hopes of Wita going through a developmental spurt for the past FOUR weeks need to be put to rest. Let’s get real, it’s looking like my child has an attitude problem. (Although, teething? Could it be teething? She still only has her two bottom teeth at almost 13 months old. Teeth, right? PLEASE LET IT BE THE TEETH. Why is she so unhappy all the tiiiiiime…it’s a good thing she’s kind of adorable.)
4. It’s fair to say that we need to lay off the grilling, made evident by the ridiculous indigestion I dealt with until midnight Sunday night. (Sarah’s body – Not another juicy piece of animal NOOOOOOOOO.) Also, running out of propane mid-grilling is slightly distressing, evidenced by D’s face.
When I mentioned it on Twitter/Instagram, five friends responded that the same thing had happened to them that same evening. Coincidence? I think not. Gas/Charcoal Conspiracy!
5. Please tell me your children have quirky fashion preferences. Wito has an aversion to buttons on his pants or shorts, yet he’s approaching the size where it’s becoming increasingly harder to find stylish pants donning stretchy waistbands. (We are officially in Boy sizing. Hold me.) At first, I wondered if it was a tactile issue, but alas, no. His reasoning for why he hates buttons? They aren’t “cool,” so he prefers not to look at them. But elastic waistbands ARE, Wito? Whose child are you? According to my official fashion rules, males can wear elastic-waist pants if they are younger than 5 or older than 85. We’ve got a lot to work on, kid.