Shitty Attitudes For Everyone!

I’m hot. And tired. And annoyed.

I contemplated not writing this until my body temperature cooled off a little, but I have now realized my body temperature is NEVER going to cool down until I have this baby. Which really aggravates me to no end. I’m the cold-natured girl! I’ve never had this problem before…the heat-induced crankiness is beginning and people should be very afraid.

Just today, three people commented on my “pregnant glow” while working. Um, pregnant glow my ass. If you call a complete meltdown with a double-dose of swamp ass a “glow”, more power to ya. Too much information? Well, you try getting in and out of your car 20 times a day, lugging around a bag full of drugs (IN A SUIT MIND YOU) in 90-degree inland California weather. I’m not sure how much longer I can endure my job. Talk about the proverbial “bun in the oven”…whoorlito is literally being cooked in my stomach.

Unfortunately, returning home from work doesn’t remedy the problem. Our house, like 90% of the homes in my neighborhood, doesn’t have air-conditioning. Consider it one of the perks of living by the water- the sweet ocean breeze cools everything down all of the time! Our utility bills are never more than $20 a month! It’s beautiful and amazing out here!

Well, it’s beautiful for 10 months out of the year, but summer can be a different story. Luckily, we have “June gloom”, which is caused by a foggy marine layer that hovers over the coast for 3-4 weeks, keeping it very cool around here. But of course, the ONE SUMMER I’m pregnant, the marine layer swept in early and has now run its course (we think…I’m still holding out hope).

I have to add a disclaimer, though. I am fully aware that 83 degrees with low humidity is downright lovely summer weather according to average American terms. I grew up in Oklahoma where the heat index soared into the 110’s during the summer. Have you ever flown into Oklahoma during the summer? It is quite possibly the ugliest city to view from the sky. Everything is brown because everything is DEAD. The grass doesn’t even survive the summers. It’s horrible. But everyone has air-conditioning in Oklahoma, so as crap-ass as it is outside, you can always hide out in your cool house.

Coastal California? Not so much. And you all, IT’S NOT THAT HOT OUTSIDE! People are performing acrobatics due to the beautiful weather. But I’m hot. So hot I want to cry. Buckets of tears.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to cut off a pair of my pajama pants and eat a popsicle.

Stay tuned for an endless bad attitude! Tomorrow’s subject: the job that is kicking my pregnant ass.

**UPDATE- this was written yesterday. It is now 7:44am and I am officially not hot this very second. I am actually wearing fleece. The sky is overcast. I looked out my kitchen window and saw these new blooms. Which means there is a slight chance of my shitty attitude improving.

  1. ms. sizzle

    June 1, 2006 at 7:51 am

    i hate being hot. i can only imagine being hot AND preggers. ugh! definitely stock up on popsicles. when can you bail out on your job? mom-to-be needs lounging and cool tubs.

  2. LVGurl

    June 1, 2006 at 11:39 am

    Oh, I’m right there with you!! I’m on my second mid-summer Vegas baby. So fun. I feel your pain (and sweat).

  3. undercover celebrity

    June 1, 2006 at 10:14 am

    I know it’s completely wrong that what I got from your story is that someday when I’m pregnant, I may not have to be cold all the time. Such a thing seems so unlikely. :)

    You should definitely be over your job already. Pregnant ladies always seem so miserable at work — and lugging around drugs and other merchandise. Well, that’s just modern torture.

  4. BeachMama

    June 1, 2006 at 5:27 pm

    Do the stores or malls in your neighbourhood have air? If they so, head out for shopping ;) Otherwise, rest easy, I feel your pain. I was pregnant with my little guy through a very hot summer, the only thing saving me was our oversized kiddie pool that I floated in four or five hours a day :). They are worth every penny.

  5. kris

    June 1, 2006 at 5:28 pm

    Don’t you worry about griping, sweet girl. You submerge yourself in a bath of ice cubes if you need to. I can’t even imagine.

  6. Boogie's Mom

    June 2, 2006 at 6:03 am

    Oh, I remember being pregnant in the summer too. It is so not fun. With my sister-in-law it was having to breastfeed a new baby in the summer when their bodies just kind of stuck together.

    Hang in there … and do what we do when it gets too hot. Hang out at the mall or any other establishment with air! :)

  7. kimmer

    June 2, 2006 at 6:08 am

    Sister swamp ass, Let me say that I feel your pain. Be thankful that you have work to keep your mind occupied. Remember bed rest? that’s not what you want.

  8. Rhea

    June 2, 2006 at 7:55 am

    Girl you need to go get yo’self a southern style trahy window unit. Is your bedroom in the back of the house? One story? No one will ever know! You can live there for the next 10 weeks with the sweet hum of a cheap motel…..

    I am totally a cold girl myself and was pregnant in a freakish cold Houston winter. I would wake up (barely) in the night and turn OFF the heat, my husband was a popsicle for awhile.

  9. maseume

    June 2, 2006 at 2:16 pm

    the worst is sticky heat filled cars when the window won’t roll down fast enough and the a/c blows hot air for the first few minutes. people just don’t understand what a rough life californians have, because ya know not everyone is on a movie set with their own personal fan-waver/umbrella holder to cool us down.

  10. Amy

    June 2, 2006 at 4:45 pm

    if i were pregnant in this heat…i would be mega biaaatch…watch out….i can’t imagine getting in and out of the car…and inland empire-might as well be in oklahoma! and i must admit there are some days when i would die for an air cond.

  11. don't call me ma'am

    June 3, 2006 at 8:42 pm

    Pretty blooms make everything better, don’t they? Nice photo. My roses just opened up as well… so there is one nice thing I can say about hot and humid weather. Hang in there. :-)

  12. Nila

    June 3, 2006 at 8:35 pm

    I survived 2 pregnancies, where I was at my biggest in the summer, in Arizona. It sucks and I feel for you. Stay cool, go shopping!

  13. Sarcomical

    June 5, 2006 at 12:34 pm

    i swear my ass is still bigger than yours in your 30 weeks pic. bitch.


    love you