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How To Use A Neti Pot

in Life, Odds and Ends

1. Enter Mother’s Market. Spend upwards of twenty minutes aimlessly walking around the store, feigning interest in various items while, in reality, you are too shy to ask the cute dude with dreads about the Neti Pot.

2. Locate a very tall Swedish man with a skinny plumber’s butt and ask for assistance locating the Neti Pots. Loudly knock over an organic tissue box display with your stroller.

3. Find and purchase Neti Pot.

4. Return home. Sit on couch. Take Neti Pot box out of the shopping bag.

5. Stare at Neti Pot box.

6. Repeat #5 several times.

7. Make dinner.

8. Finish dinner. Sit on couch.

9. Repeat #5.

10. Place Neti Pot box on the couch next to you, barely touching your leg. Pray that the physical contact alone will unleash the magical healing powers of the Neti Pot.

11. Realize magical Neti Pot diffusion isn’t happening. Decide to open the box.

12. While opening the box, notice the term “nasal douching” written on the side. Gag forcefully. Repeat #5.

13. Quickly get over your fears when your sinus cavities remind you that YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DON’T DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE MUCUS.

14. Prepare Neti Pot with the warm water and salt. (1/4 teaspoon to 8 ounces water is the recommended amount. I used a little bit less, thanks to your comments.)

15. Read the directions 5,000 times and obsessively worry that your head won’t be tilted properly.

16. Lean over the sink, tilt head and stick the Neti spout into your right nostril, creating a “seal”.

17. Pour water into your right nostril. See nothing coming out the other side. Wonder where the water is going. Tilt head upwards to look in the mirror. Salt water now gushes down your throat. Choke. Scream, “I’M DROWNING! HELP MEEEE!”

18. Realize you are, in fact, NOT drowning. Collect yourself.

19. Try again, this time tilting your head properly. The saltwater flows directly out the other nostril! You are amazed! This is the coolest party trick ever!

20. Feel equally happy/horrified about the expelled contents of your nose.

I’m here to tell you – don’t be scared of the Neti Pot! There is definitely a little bit of a learning curve when it comes to the tilt of your head (not tilting downwards enough can cause the saltwater to drain in your throat), but once you have that down, it’s really easy. I’m definitely a fan. Now, if I only had bought one a week ago, I probably wouldn’t be dealing with my newly-diagnosed sinus infection of mammoth proportions. Oh well, at least I’ll know next time.

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52 comments

  1. ali

    July 3, 2008 at 9:59 am

    um…i’m scared of your neti pot.
    i may possibly have nightmares.

  2. Chiada

    July 3, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    Ooh, I love the Neti pot! I think my husband loves his Neti pot more than he loves me! But, considering his allergy problems, that could be a good thing. He’s the type that, when he sneezes, he sneezes at least a dozen times. And they are loud, back-wrenching sneezes that ensue the moment his eyes flutter open in the morning. Then he staggers out of bed to find a rag (yuck! ew! what’s with men?!?) to blow his nose into after having sneezed a dozen times.

    However. Since using the Neti pot for the last two months, his allergies have decreased tremendously! Now he rarely staggers out of bed in a sneezing fit! It’s lovely, I tell ya, to not have to be forcefully waken to the sound of violent sneezing.

    Except then he constantly leaves his Neti pot and glass of dissolved salt water next to the kitchen sink, which really really drives me crazy.

    Oh well.

  3. SK

    July 3, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Where was this little guy when I was pregnant??? I suffered from multi-sinus infections and suffered dearly from not being able to take my usual pleatherful of cold meds. I had to irrigate the old fashion way with a bowl, saline solution and letting the water exit out my mouth! I need to get me one of these bad boys. I also would spend many times in a hot steamy bathroom depleting my hot water supply in conjunction with the salt water. I saw an episode of Grey’s Anatomy where Izzie had to do something similar to a patient but it was called “nasal lavage.” I must try this wonderful neti pot you speak of.

  4. emma

    July 3, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    Yeah, I love mine but it definitely took me a few tries to get the angle of my head right.

  5. gorillabuns

    July 4, 2008 at 11:40 am

    While I need to use one, I just can’t bring myself to use one.

  6. Kat

    July 5, 2008 at 8:11 am

    OMG – I did the same thing when we got ours. When hubby used it the water came out right away, mine didn’t so I started to freak out wondering where it went! Thankfully mine did not use the erm douching!!

  7. Sarah

    July 5, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    Yay! My husband loves the neti pot.

  8. Mel

    July 5, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    Go you! I love mine. :)

  9. motherofbun

    July 6, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Have got one too.

    My mom thought it was a teapot once and tried to make herself some green tea in the microwave with mine. She almost gagged when I told her (“Um mom, that’s the part I shove up my nose…”)

  10. artemisia

    July 7, 2008 at 10:03 am

    This made me laugh out loud (and get caught not-working at work!).

    I also use the NeilMed Sinus Rinse thing and it is a life-saver during allergy season. Gross, too. I was sooooo terrified the first time I tried it, but now happy wash snot out of my head regularly.

    This is lovely, isn’t it?

  11. Danielle

    July 7, 2008 at 10:34 am

    really? don’t be sceered? because I’m terrified…. but I will keep you and all of your braveness in mind should I need to douche my nose….

    *shiver*

  12. red lotus mama

    July 7, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    I am currently suffering from a horrid head cold and was told to pick a lovely “nasal douche” up. My head is swimming from the congestion. I am really nervous, but your post has given me a bit of confidence.

  13. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    July 7, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    21. Go buy a NeilMed Sinus Rinse kit and forgo the yoga and the mess.

    (sorry, you knew I couldn’t resist!!!) ;))))

  14. Filtering Life

    July 8, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    I am dying laughing. Our very own “nasal douche” sits proudly in our bathroom cabinet. My husband, Captain Congestion, finally got the nerve to use it and was ADDICTED! He tried to convince me to use it for “the fun of it” in which I promptly declined. The whole thought of it makes me queasy but I hear nothing but good things. I am assuming you felt sweet sweet relief? Your description is priceless.

  15. victoria winters

    July 8, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Oy. Sounds brutal! I’m visiting from Quarter Life Crisis – stop by my neck of the woods sometime! :)