52

How To Use A Neti Pot

1. Enter Mother’s Market. Spend upwards of twenty minutes aimlessly walking around the store, feigning interest in various items while, in reality, you are too shy to ask the cute dude with dreads about the Neti Pot.

2. Locate a very tall Swedish man with a skinny plumber’s butt and ask for assistance locating the Neti Pots. Loudly knock over an organic tissue box display with your stroller.

3. Find and purchase Neti Pot.

4. Return home. Sit on couch. Take Neti Pot box out of the shopping bag.

5. Stare at Neti Pot box.

6. Repeat #5 several times.

7. Make dinner.

8. Finish dinner. Sit on couch.

9. Repeat #5.

10. Place Neti Pot box on the couch next to you, barely touching your leg. Pray that the physical contact alone will unleash the magical healing powers of the Neti Pot.

11. Realize magical Neti Pot diffusion isn’t happening. Decide to open the box.

12. While opening the box, notice the term “nasal douching” written on the side. Gag forcefully. Repeat #5.

13. Quickly get over your fears when your sinus cavities remind you that YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DON’T DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE MUCUS.

14. Prepare Neti Pot with the warm water and salt. (1/4 teaspoon to 8 ounces water is the recommended amount. I used a little bit less, thanks to your comments.)

15. Read the directions 5,000 times and obsessively worry that your head won’t be tilted properly.

16. Lean over the sink, tilt head and stick the Neti spout into your right nostril, creating a “seal”.

17. Pour water into your right nostril. See nothing coming out the other side. Wonder where the water is going. Tilt head upwards to look in the mirror. Salt water now gushes down your throat. Choke. Scream, “I’M DROWNING! HELP MEEEE!”

18. Realize you are, in fact, NOT drowning. Collect yourself.

19. Try again, this time tilting your head properly. The saltwater flows directly out the other nostril! You are amazed! This is the coolest party trick ever!

20. Feel equally happy/horrified about the expelled contents of your nose.

I’m here to tell you – don’t be scared of the Neti Pot! There is definitely a little bit of a learning curve when it comes to the tilt of your head (not tilting downwards enough can cause the saltwater to drain in your throat), but once you have that down, it’s really easy. I’m definitely a fan. Now, if I only had bought one a week ago, I probably wouldn’t be dealing with my newly-diagnosed sinus infection of mammoth proportions. Oh well, at least I’ll know next time.

Share:
Categories:
52 comments
  1. jonb

    July 2, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    what..no pictures? …I mistakenly googled Neti Pot which led me to a YouTube instructional video…

    should make for an awesome party trick!

  2. sizzle

    July 2, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    NASAL DOUCHING.

    I will never recover from hearing that.

  3. What Liz Said

    July 2, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    Oh my gosh… I love that thing. It saved me during allergy season.

  4. serror

    July 2, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    Amazing, no? I prefer NeilMed which requires less tilting and refers to it as “nasal lavage”

    http://www.neilmed.com/usa/index.php

    It is a must for me and allergy season, but helps a lot with colds!

  5. Jora

    July 2, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    I was hoping for a video tutorial!

  6. Kathy

    July 2, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    That instructional video…. there are just no words. And now I need one. Just for entertainment purposes.

  7. slynnro

    July 2, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    I wish they made something like that for ears. Because Aaron? Has a wax problem.

  8. Heather

    July 2, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    I tried the neti pot once. All it did was make me feel, for a week, like I did a cannonball into the pool without plugging my nose first.

  9. laura

    July 2, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    we love our neti pot here under the Big Top!

  10. Amanda

    July 2, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    Yeah, I’m thinking we need some pictures to demonstrate it’s effectiveness.

    I’ve heard they’re awesome and although I’ve never tried it myself (because certainly I will be the one random person who drowns via neti pot), I recommend them to everyone.

  11. Lissa

    July 2, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who also kept staring at the box!
    I had the same experience with the neti pot! I actually had my friend on speaker phone while I was doing the the head tilt thing just in case I drowned. I did feel so much better afterwards though, but really who thinks of these things? THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!

  12. bethany

    July 2, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    Ha….hahahahaha! I watched a video on nasal douching, erm…I mean the “neti pot” on you tube and if was fracking hilarious! I don’t know how much legitimacy I can give the thing after watching the video! But i’m glad you feel better:)

  13. Jenifer

    July 2, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    We have major sinus issues in my house. We went straight past the manual system and went high tech.

    http://www.dentist.net/hydro-pulse.asp

    Okay, not that high tech since it’s just a water pik with a special attachment but it’s much faster than the ‘Pot and easy to sanitize with white vinegar. (I’ve paid attention to the Whoorl key terms.)

    I highly recommend it.

    PS…don’t turn your head upside down for about an hour after irrigating. Yeah, learned that one the hard way.

  14. Mrs. Schmitty

    July 2, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    I was completely horrified when I heard of the Neti Pot, but it’s awesome, isn’t it? Clear ya right out!

  15. Michelle

    July 2, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    Whoorl – You are blazing the trail for chicken shits like myself…the neti pot scares me to be honest. Do you think D. would video you doing the “nasal douching” by chance? Just curious….