Bishop Stu Tu

So I called my dad last night to say howdy and see what was going on halfway across the country. He was installing his iPod into his Mini-Cooper before heading down to his recording studio where he was finalizing a new song.

Stop right there.

How cool is that? My dad rocks! He is such a cool cat. Honestly, if you met my dad and didn’t like him, I’d probably persuade you to head on down to the nearest mental hospital ’cause you might be a little unhinged. He’s successful! He sings! He plays the guitar! He solves complex mathematical equations with the greatest of ease! He can fix anything, whether it is an antique watch or an entire air conditioning system! For God’s sake, the man even cut my hair when I was younger, and people, I am pretty damn picky when it comes to the locks. How can one person be so talented at so many damn things? I’m intrigued.

If that wasn’t enough, presenting More Cool Things About My Dad!

1) He does all of the grocery shopping. Our family is prepared for a complete nuclear disaster- he has acquired more canned goods than the local food bank. Now, I could argue that sometimes he goes with the generic stuff (blech), but he makes up for this with The Infamous Candy Drawer. A bona fide candy drawer filled with every kind of confection you could dream of. Snickers? Check. Blowpops? Check. Chick-o-Sticks? Check. Also, looking for some gum or Good & Plenty’s? He is always in possession of these two items. Oh, and don’t get him talking about the different kinds of black licorice. Give him the wrong kind of black licorice, and it’s like handing Superman some kryptonite. Complete meltdown.

2) Interested in sound financial advice? Need to create a new budget? He’s your man. Now, sometimes this “financial advice” has been a bit unwarranted, like the time I asked him a general question about interest rates, only to be lectured about the “blood bath” economy for three hours, trying to feign interest while feverishly searching the room for a pencil to shove into my eye socket so I could call 911 and get out of the house pronto.

3) He doesn’t mind driving halfway across the city to get the best pizza in town for Sunday pizza dinners. I tend to think this is due to his sneaking suspicion that the pizza shop owners might be part of the Taliban and is hoping to intercept some crucial contraband. Okie dokie. And if pizza doesn’t sound good, he makes the world’s best chilidogs. They are excellent and also his cure for anything ailing you. Hung over? Eat a chilidog. Feeling blue? Eat a chilidog. Bad haircut? Eat a chilidog. Your pet died? Eat a chilidog. You get the picture.

4) My personal favorite- He didn’t send me to a Swedish boarding school at age sixteen when I managed to wreck all three of the family’s cars in a 48-hour period. Oops.

5)Most importantly, he is one hell of a father to my sister and I and one hell of a husband to my mom (who happens to rock the casbah, as well).

I miss my dad.

  1. lini

    September 28, 2005 at 3:20 pm

    I am not even fragile today and your blog made me laugh outloud and cry. Chili dogs the cure for everything-remember My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Windex was the dads cure for everything,Dads are great! The whole fam rocks the casbah!!!!

  2. ms. sizzle

    September 28, 2005 at 3:33 pm

    wait- all THREE in 48 hours?! i am more impressed with you in this moment than i ever have been before. ;)

    your dad seems like a stellar man. you are so lucky!

  3. Cocodrie

    September 28, 2005 at 3:35 pm

    Mmmmmmm, chili dogs.

    My personal favorite Bishop moments come at wedding receptions when he manages to make the dance-adverse get out of their chairs and do the shopping cart. Rock on, Whoorl Daad!

    I miss my dad, too. Sniff.

  4. BishOp stu tu

    September 28, 2005 at 5:26 pm

    whOOrl gOOrl…

    I followed the gOOd & Plenty URL to find this STUNNING revelation…..

    “GOOD & PLENTY candy was first produced by the Quaker City Confectionery Company in Philadelphia in 1893 and is the oldest branded candy in the United States. Choo Choo Charlie, the engineer who fueled his train with GOOD & PLENTY candy, first appeared in advertisements in 1950.”

    I mean this speaks for itself!!!! How aboot that Finnish licorice??? Get outa here! da best…from the candy store down your road.

    Anyhoo…I only wish that I resembled your remarks…obviously you’re tired from the kOrpOrate kOOlaid sessions.. But, my dearest dear, you may have FLIPPED OUT!!!!

    And ….as I’ve told YOU before….YOU are my idol.

    (off topic) Get the new stOnes record…Mick cuts to the point.

    I’ll forward mp3 of today’s “””EvenTS””” at stu7…in the mOrn. Need you here to produce this dang mix.

    Caroline…you can really dance babe… hell, you (and ever-buddy else) knew that already!

    hey! I sure miss my daughter too.

    yo…da bishOp.

  5. D

    September 28, 2005 at 8:09 pm

    Bstu2 is the berries!

    D et A.O.K

  6. Boogie's Mom

    September 28, 2005 at 10:33 pm

    Wow, I miss your dad too! He sounds awesome, and way cool with his iPod and MiniCoop. I don’t have either one of those! You’re very lucky.

    My dad’s cool in a more subtle way. Like yours, you have to love him when you meet him. But he’s not quite up on the latest gadgets (unless it’s his computer), he has no fashion sense, and he would have definitely sent me to boarding school had I wrecked the family cars! :)

  7. Sarcomical

    September 28, 2005 at 6:31 pm

    i figured as much…that you had to come from cool-as-hell stock. (in napoleon d. voice) LUCKEEE.

  8. gorillabuns

    September 29, 2005 at 7:21 am

    your family is the bomb, period! i want to be adopted…. they always make you feel welcome and part of the gang and they sure know how to throw a party!

  9. Linda

    September 29, 2005 at 9:30 am

    If Shana Banana wants to join your family, then I would be adopted in as well. From what I hear, they are my kind of different. Does your dad need another wife?? Does your mom need a sister??

  10. Krisco

    September 30, 2005 at 12:10 am

    Nice post. Seems like a great way. It’s awesome to love your pops. (as I do mine as well!:)

  11. Sarcastic Journalist

    October 1, 2005 at 11:34 am

    My Dad embalms dead people. That’s not as cool as the candy drawer.