Bad News Bears

Have I ever told you how much I love my home? Well, I do. I love it, love it, love it. It is the most perfect, darling, updated beach bungalow in the world. You can even ask SAJ…she’ll concur, I’m sure.

My landlord just informed us that he is going to sell it.

Like right now.

The bastard.

I just received a letter with the information about the realtor who will be showing it, and according to him, he “has instructed her to use the utmost courtesy in giving advanced notice of showings and working around your baby’s napping schedule”.

Napping schedule? NAPPING SCHEDULE? What 5-week old has a fucking napping schedule? Um, Mr. Landlord, my baby’s schedule consists of two things. Eating and Sleeping at Random Times Throughout The Day. And unless you want your realtor to become close and personal friends with my nipple or her ass to be royally chewed when she wakes my baby, we better figure something else out ASAP.

I can’t believe this is happening right now. I don’t want to move.

  1. SAJ

    September 7, 2006 at 3:38 pm

    Yes, I definitely concur.

  2. Rhea

    September 7, 2006 at 4:10 pm

    What a bummer! Can you buy it???

  3. Lyndsay

    September 7, 2006 at 4:40 pm

    Bastard! Yes, can you buy it?

  4. Jessica

    September 7, 2006 at 5:06 pm

    Don’t move…Refuse…How could they possibly “evict” a beautiful family such as yourselves? Act innocent like you never received the letter… Just an idea.

  5. whoorl

    September 7, 2006 at 5:49 pm

    Yes, I can buy it…if someone can help me with the downpayment for the 1.5+ million purchase price.

    Damn Southern California realty.

  6. Meepers

    September 7, 2006 at 6:37 pm

    He didn’t give you ANY NOTICE? I’d be doing two things:
    Checking on the legality of that (I’d be poring over my lease/rental agreement)
    -Making sure to save up the contents of the Diaper Genie out in the garage and then setting it right at the entryway for that homey, pooey-nappie smell.

    Ugggh…. that so reminds me of my childhood home – my parents moved in to it with a dirt ‘yard’ and spent the next 14 years transforming it into a home. They put in tons of grass, trees, plants, flowers, outbuildings, etc, etc.. 14 years of on-time rent later, we’d finished hand-setting new beautiful tile, carpet and a huge list of other improvements (all done at their cost) …and got the call that it was For Sale. Bastards.

  7. rachel

    September 7, 2006 at 7:41 pm

    Ditto Meepers – you might have to show it, but you don’t have to keep it clean OR odor-free, do you? That blows. Who would make you MOVE 5 weeks after having a child?

  8. Elizabeth

    September 7, 2006 at 7:46 pm

    I’ve had the similar experience. SUCKS! The good thing we experienced was that once we were out, we discovered what a drug hole we had been living in!!! Yipes!

  9. Amanda

    September 7, 2006 at 8:02 pm

    That is cruel and LAME. What terrible timing. I hope it doesn’t sell for a long, long time.

  10. tina

    September 7, 2006 at 9:06 pm

    oh, that totally sucks! I believe that, here in Canada, the owner has to give their renters two months to find a new home before posession after the sale can be transferred to the new owners.

    How long have you lived there? It’s quite possible that someone may purchase the house so they can rent it out and if you’ve been great tenants and you cooperate (kiss their asses and be all nice like) you might be able to stay and rent from them. Of course, it may be time to look for your own house now.

    Either way, moving sucks!

  11. Jessie

    September 8, 2006 at 5:07 am

    Oh that stinks! That is such horrible timing. Your landlord deserves to have something incredibly inconvenient happen to him – like not being able to get near the price he’s asking for the house. Maybe that will buy you some time. Good luck on finding a new place – hopefully you’ll find one that you love even more than your current home.

  12. nabbalicious

    September 8, 2006 at 6:22 am

    Holy crap! What shitty timing. I’m sorry! I agree: time to start leaving poopy diapers laying around.

    The other thing working in your favor is that the real estate market is getting to be pretty bad right now, so it’ll probably take awhile for it to sell. Especially if he’s asking the kind of price that would have worked three years ago.

  13. Emily

    September 8, 2006 at 6:41 am

    Suck! Suck suck suck!

    That is all. I can’t even imagine how stressed you feel. I hope you’re eating chocolate.

  14. Torrie

    September 8, 2006 at 7:28 am

    That sucks. I’m so sorry.

  15. ms. sizzle

    September 8, 2006 at 8:11 am

    Nooooooooooo! that is horrible news. I think it is time to consider using breast milk as a weapon.