Whizzing In My Brain

1. Ingesting any caffeinated product after 2 pm is dangerous.

2. I always feel the urge to eat cheese and crackers while watching The Biggest Loser.

3. According to my lipstick shape, I fall in love easily.

4. The mothers only know the names of the children in Wito’s music class, so we refer to one another as [so and so]’s mom. This has to stop.

5. Will Wito the Seasoned Traveler become Wito the Teething Tantrum Traveler on our flight to Oklahoma over the holidays? He’s 22 for 22 on plane flights, people. The bad behavior has got to be lurking around the corner.

6. I have to fire the housekeeper today. I was hoping to pansy out on her voicemail, but she doesn’t have voicemail on her cell phone. Damnit.

7. I don’t think D will ever break free of the Norah Jones, Amos Lee, John Legend and Jamie Cullum heavy morning rotation.

8. Can I really make it to December 1st for a trim? My bangs are brushing the tip of my nose.

9. Please let today be a better day for Wito. Damn you, molars.

10. I couldn’t be more thrilled that today is a not of the running variety.

11. How do you cook a turkey?

That concludes today’s peek into Whoorl’s brain. Hasta mañana, iguana.

  • Miguelina (Reluctant Housewife)

    November 14, 2007 at 8:50 am

    Excellent question. How does one cook a turkey? Let me know if you find out.

    (Sorry about the to the point comment, but according to my lipstick shape I can’t help myself!)

  • Pam

    November 14, 2007 at 9:03 am

    Don’t forget to pull out the giblets!

  • Carrisa

    November 14, 2007 at 9:39 am

    Madelyn beat me to it. I was going to link to the pioneer woman. she is a genius.

  • sunny

    November 14, 2007 at 8:52 am

    dude, I hear you on the housekeeper. I may do mine over sms!

  • amy

    November 14, 2007 at 8:54 am

    love me some lists!

  • Sadie

    November 14, 2007 at 8:57 am

    what did the housekeeper do wrong? I don’t think any living being could stand up to my rigorous and particular housecleaning standards; the thought of a housekeeper (who I’d PAY!) leaving water spots on the faucet handles makes me enraged. Do you think I should see somebody about this?

    Also, re: cooking a turkey – it’s actually pretty easy. Just put it in a roasting pan, with its sad legs tied together, throw some fresh herb stalks and maybe a couple lemon wedges in its cavity, and slather it with butter. Roast it, covered with foil, at about 325F, an hour for every four pounds of weight. Take the foil off towards the end so it gets a nice brown color. Use a meat thermometer to make sure you don’t poison your family with undercooked poultry (should be 165F). Voila!

    I caught her using Tilex, which is a HUGE no-no in our household.

  • Sadie

    November 14, 2007 at 9:07 am

    Oh, and go surf around epicurious.com, they have lots of good turkey recipes – this one looks fairly easy, it has good reviews, and it involves alcohol. A winner!

  • LVGurl

    November 14, 2007 at 10:08 am

    Okay, #4 made me laugh outloud. It seems that every class I take one of the girls to, I never know any woman’s name. It’s still happening now that Makenna is in preschool.

  • Gretchen

    November 14, 2007 at 9:19 am

    All I can say about turkeys is: oven bag

    Fortunately this year will be grilling steak instead of eating turkey. I really don’t see the point in eating turkey unless you have to feed 22 people on the cheap.

  • Ashlie

    November 14, 2007 at 9:22 am

    I’ll be cooking tofurkey so gooood luck!

  • Mandee

    November 14, 2007 at 9:25 am


    If you buy a frozen one, give it a long time to defrost in the fridge (a couple of days) and do indeed remove the giblets from the cavity. In addition to the herbs and lemon Sadie mentioned, I also put an orange (after I cut it into segments) in the cavity and it really makes a difference.

    Also, make sure the butter is at room temperature before you try to slather. I add some chopped fresh sage to mine and also rub some between the skin and the breast meat. Add salt and pepper to both the cavity and the top of the bird. And put it breast side up in the pan.

    I’m pretending that I’m talking to my sister as I write this. I’ve learned that you must be very specific.

  • Rattling The Kettle

    November 14, 2007 at 9:26 am

    Tell the maid you’re moving to Oklahoma.

    Brine the turkey the day before you cook it. It’s probably the most important step in the entire process.

  • nabbalicious

    November 14, 2007 at 9:30 am

    According to my lipstick shape, I’m opinionated. And a wee bit argumentative. Heh, heh. Me?! NO!

    I have never cooked a turkey. But I can tell you how to make a divine pumpkin cheesecake, if you’re so inclined.

  • ~Madelyn

    November 14, 2007 at 9:37 am

    Even if you don’t use it – the pictures are great…..
    ~Mad(elyn) in Alabama

  • SHA

    November 14, 2007 at 9:42 am

    #7 I love John Legend and would have his baby is my husband let me.

  • ashley

    November 14, 2007 at 9:46 am

    I totally ate cheese and crackers last night while watching Biggest Loser (and Cinnamon Toast Crunch)!

    Also? I jumped rope for 2 minutes after the trivia that you’d have to jump for 120 min to burn off a pepporoni pizza. I could never do that for 2 hours. I got a cramp after 2 minutes. Seriously.

  • Amy Beth

    November 14, 2007 at 9:47 am

    I too was going to link to The Pioneer Woman. Mmmm, now I’m in the mood for turkey.

  • sizzle

    November 14, 2007 at 9:56 am

    the teething is pretty brutal- at least from what i saw with my nephew. it gets better i hear!

    turkey cooking is pretty easy…or else it better be since i am in charge of the bird this year.

    i need a trim too. fancy that. ;)

  • Kristabella

    November 14, 2007 at 10:05 am

    I’m hoping that Wito continues to bat 1.000 on flights. It’s totally possible!

  • Amanda

    November 14, 2007 at 10:33 am

    Our kinder-fitness (haha… fitness, right) class is the same way. Why do we not have name tags/introductions for the moms? That is so stupid.

    And yeah, I was wondering about #11 too. I’m hosting this year. Eek. Hope they’re not planning on me actually cooking! haha!

  • Melissa

    November 14, 2007 at 11:12 am

    I feel you on the molars. My twins are both getting them and seem to have been getting them for weeks (or months….oh, the teething fog!). Good luck on the flight – we’ve been lucky so far too, but our last one definitely had more close calls. We relied heavily on the new books and toys we brought and had no shame in resorting to food bribes…

  • Cricket

    November 14, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    Okay… first off: Turkey and other good stuff can be found at http://www.thepioneerwomancooks.com, second: you can usually get in for a bang trim if you say that’s all you want. I just did it at my place, they schedule you for 15 minutes and it cost 10 dollars. Just make sure to specify.

    heh, I checked my lipstick personality, and I fit it to a T. It’s frightening, actually.

  • Maggie

    November 14, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    My hairdresser lets me stop by for a trim of my bangs between appointments — no charge, no scheduling. You should see if yours does the same.

  • Keri

    November 14, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    I think you need to write a post on how to survive a plane ride with a baby – I get exhausted just thinking about flying with mine.

  • Lisa

    November 14, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    Okay, so a couple of things here. I have a great housekeeper that I have used for a few years whom I highly recommend and completely trust. She speaks English, and we do not use any toxic cleaners in our house. She knows this, and she just uses what I put out for her. If you’d like her phone number email me (I think you should have my email address-former pharmaceutical rep Lisa :-)), and I can give you her information. Also, I seriously was laughing when I read about your music class and how everyone is known as so and so’s mom it cracks me up every time I hear our teacher say it as well–it does have to stop!!!

  • Kate P

    November 14, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    My son is getting his molars as well (he is 16 months.) It seems like this has been going on forever! Is Wito sleeping? We have been using motrin for night time, since it last for six hours, but even that I have been only when it gets really bad because I think about his poor little liver. Have you tried teething tablets? I have not…but always wonder. Also, one of those mesh veggie strainers with very cold fruit has worked well.

    Also, the housekeeper issue sucks. I have been thinking about dumping ours for a while, but only because I have to tell her repeatedly what I want done and how. Using products that are not acceptable to you is a whole other story.

    Hang in there! This day sounds like no fun. At least you don’t have to run!

  • am'ti b

    November 14, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    the thing that sucks is that she has probably been using tilex the entire time! by the way i bought super skinny and will be trying it out soon.

    Luckily, it was only twice. I can smell it from a mile away. Last week, she didn’t use it, but they’ve been running really late this past month and as we all know, I’m not down with people being late.

  • Torrie

    November 14, 2007 at 3:45 pm

    I watched The Biggest Loser while eating chocolate.

  • Torrie

    November 14, 2007 at 3:45 pm

    Also, teething = SUCK.

  • chris

    November 14, 2007 at 3:56 pm

    I always feel the urge to snack while watching the Biggest Loser.

  • Natalie 42

    November 14, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    Housekeeper – ugh.

    Jamie Cullum – If you have not seen him live, I highly recommend it.

    Cooking a Turkey – You can find the temp and time anywhere but all I can say is…make a homemade garlic herb butter (I can send you a recipe if you’d like), let it set up in the fridge for a bit – not completely hard again but not soft and squishy and for the love of God use UNSALTED sticks of butter – put it in between the skin and the meat….anywhere you can put it. Cook it breast side down. For the last 30 minutes, cook it breast side UP. Make sure to baste it A LOT. Best turkey EVER.

  • bigulug

    November 14, 2007 at 4:14 pm

    I thought I was the only one eating and watching the biggest loser. Usually I drink too and watch it. Last night, though was pudding and the biggest loser, which is sponsored by Jello – hmmmm.

  • Undomestic Diva

    November 15, 2007 at 8:14 am

    You and I could be friends. My hair’s waaaay past due, I can’t even touch a raw chicken or turkey because they remind me of babies too much and I, too, am suffering from a loss of identity – having become “E’s mom,” “LW’s mom,” and “Big T’s mom. I’ve got a name damnit.


  • Kristie

    November 15, 2007 at 10:15 am

    I feel the need to walk in place while watching the Biggest Loser. And man, I’m glad that girl Amy is gone, she was annoying the shit outta me.

  • Sarah

    November 15, 2007 at 8:19 pm

    Hey, I’ll be in Oklahoma for Thanksgiving…it’s my very first trip to Sooner country, and I’m starting to get nervous. But I have travel sizes bottles of my hair products, so, at least my hair will look good while I’m nervously chatting up my boyfriend’s family and friends (including ex-girlfriends — yikes!).

  • Daisy

    November 17, 2007 at 6:12 pm

    Turkeys aren’t difficult. first: I hope you’re already thawing it in the fridge. Second: Go to butterball.com for advice. Basically, put it in the oven and cook for as many hours as it needs, based on the size. You can do it.

  • divrchk

    November 18, 2007 at 5:54 am

    Safeway has a recipe for a 2 hour turkey that I used last year and plan to use again this year http://turkey.safeway.com/recipe.cfm?rid=1 It was delicious!