5 years ago, I had some anxiety issues while living in Chicago. I’m not sure if it was a result of the gloomy winter weather, living in an “up-and-coming” neighborhood (prostitutes behind our flat and generalized crazy) or just that specific time in my life, but it was a little frightening. I was underweight, had trouble staying calm in public places, wasn’t sleeping worth a damn due to my pounding heart and was convinced I was losing my mind. Thinking I was going crazy led to more anxiety which led to thinking I was crazy annnnnd we’re back to the anxiety. It’s a cycle, isn’t it?
I’m not the type to take the pharmaceutical route (said the retired pharma sales rep), so with the help of an amazing therapist and subtle changes in my day-to-day life, I pretty much eliminated it from my life. And since I’ve been in California, I haven’t had issues with it. (KNOCK ON WOOD, PLEASE DON’T JINX IT)
One of the most important changes I made was cutting out all caffeine in my diet. As my physician told me, I am naturally caffeinated as it is. No need for any of it in my body.
So for the past 5 years, I haven’t consumed caffeine.
Seriously.
In fact, I am the person at Starbucks checking and re-checking with the barista that my drink, in fact, does NOT contain caffeine. Like I will surely die if any espresso touches my lips. I will SUE you, Barista! Give me my DECAF vanilla latte! Don’t try to trick me! Are you trying to mess with me? Hello?
Since Wito was born, I have slowly introduced a teeny bit of caffeine into my life. You know, due to the fact that Babies = No Sleep. No Sleep = Tired. Tired = Baby Sent To Orphanage. Orphanage = Guilt (but some sleep!)
Where am I going with this? Oh yeah, I just consumed 2 cups of coffee. TWO! CUPS! COFFEE! My perfect sleeper Wito, woke up every hour screaming last night. EVERY! HOUR! I ended up putting him in my bed at 3 am. IN! MY! BED! I was a co-sleeper last night! And I’m drinking caffeine! And I am experiencing heart palpitations!
DON’T WORRY! I’M NOT CRAZY! I’m a new person! A new, yet haggard person dancing to Sesame Street! Singing “YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR HAIRRRRRRRRRRR”?! Do you know an entire episode of Sesame Street is about hair? Has anyone seen this?
I think I have to leave now.
UPDATE: After endless hysterical bouts this morning and a trip to the doctor, ear infection it is. BOO.
BeachMama
May 9, 2007 at 4:05 pmI have been on the decaf for almost a year, but hope to get back to regularly cafeinated coffee sometime in the fall. I stopped in case it was contributing to my miscarriages and stayed off knowing I was going to try to get preganant again and did. So here I sit drinking my Starbucks Verona Decaf (if it’s decaf it’s gonna be the best). But, I will make the return one day becasue I do miss the full affect sometimes.
Sorry about the ear infection, hope it clears soon.
Jessica
May 9, 2007 at 4:37 pmOMG. Between my five, and Manda’s Avelyn, Now Wito. I now know 6 kiddos with ear infections… What the heck? Ew. So sorry, but glad you found a friend in caffeine, God knows I have.
am'ti b
May 9, 2007 at 6:42 pmafter a few margs (now he remembers), amo c informed me of wito’s night of no sleep and told me that ya’ll thought something was wrong (at this point my breath starts to quicken.) his monotoned voice always makes news sound bad, i started to ask 100 questions, which of course, were not answered. so as always, thank you for filling me in, i rely on whoorl for all d’fam info.
sizzle
May 9, 2007 at 9:13 pmi can’t drink caffeine either but it makes me sleepy instead of hyper or pumped. i am the same way at the cafe making sure it is DECAF (are you sure? you aren’t shitting me?!). yeah, that is me too.
:)
Bethany
May 9, 2007 at 9:59 pmGet better soon, Wito, and back to your great sleeping!
Sarah
May 10, 2007 at 3:08 amI don’t know…I think there’s seriously something about Chicago that provokes anxiety…or maybe I was just young and broke and didn’t know the city all that well when I lived there. I lost 40 lbs. in 6 months (well, I needed to but still, it flew off) and was pretty anxious all the time. Hmmm….
Darren McLikeshimself
May 10, 2007 at 5:34 amWelcome back, Whoorl. We accept you, we accept you.
Meritt
May 17, 2007 at 6:37 amAh! I couldn’t let a caffeine post go by without smiling and commenting! :)
*I always assume the barista’s use regular coffee too – just to get back at me because retail workers have such a low opinion of all customers after a months of working with the public. *
:)