Excellent things about the Internet: 1) Shopping. J. Crew, Sephora, Gap, Nordstrom, etc. Mind you, I have all of these stores within a ten-mile radius of my house but going there would mean dealing with those slow, weaving mall-browsers that cut down on my efficiency. Are you people drunk? Get the hell out of my […]
So I called my dad last night to say howdy and see what was going on halfway across the country. He was installing his iPod into his Mini-Cooper before heading down to his recording studio where he was finalizing a new song. Stop right there. How cool is that? My dad rocks! He is such […]
Why do Ketel One dirty martinis taste just a little bit better at restaurants? How can triscuits taste so good when fresh, but soooo bad when stale? Is the woven texture to blame? Is my fantasy football team going to whip up on my husband’s team tomorrow? Did SAJ want to jump off a bridge […]
I’m not feeling very well today. I can’t breathe, my body aches and my ears are itching like crazy. I think I’m sick. I just want to curl up in my bed and moan. I rarely get sick these days. For the past six years, my job has required me to spend every day in […]
Looking for some new dysphemisms to use in your daily dialogue? Let’s peruse my new and improved smorgasbord, shall we? Besides exploring, drinking vast amounts of vodka and belting out some serious karaoke in Montana, I was privileged enough to spend a week with my sister’s husband, aka The Dysphemism Magnate. This man should be […]
Things that are bugging the shit out of me today: 1) The little pre-period pimples wreaking havoc on my chin. 2) The fact that my menstrually-bloated ass ripped the lining in my favorite suit pants while bending over this morning. 3) That I am going to a new kick-boxing class tonight where my face will […]