Weighing the Pros and Cons

Excellent things about the Internet:

1) Shopping. J. Crew, Sephora, Gap, Nordstrom, etc. Mind you, I have all of these stores within a ten-mile radius of my house but going there would mean dealing with those slow, weaving mall-browsers that cut down on my efficiency. Are you people drunk? Get the hell out of my way! No time for lollygagging. When it comes to the mall, Get In and Get Out. That’s my mantra. Plus, going to the mall means getting off my lazy ass and really, who wants that?

2) eBay. I love eBay. Just call me Queen of Swoop. All of those poor, unsuspecting eBayers bidding on an item, thinking they will win, when BAM! 23 seconds to go, swoop in, put in my bid, and I win AGAIN. I have never been successfully swooped upon and I am damn proud. And really, what’s with all of the people who start bidding a day in advance? Do they not realize they are just unnecessarily driving the price of the item up? Hate. Haaaaaate. Hate.

3) Live customer support. This means not having to talk on the phone. Glorious. I don’t like talking on the phone- please don’t ever call me. Don’t get me wrong, I like you! But my Get in, Get out mantra also applies to phone calls. Can’t we just email each other? I never answer my phone unless it’s my husband, and I average a 5-7 day delay on returning personal phone calls unless it’s family. Luckily, my peeps know just how much deeply-rooted strength I must muster to dial the digits and they’re sympathetic to the issue. Oh, and Liz, your 5-7 day period is this Thursday through Saturday…be on the lookout. ;)

4) Makeupalley.com. 5,900,000,000 product reviews at your fingertips. I have a thing for makeup*, lip gloss especially, and when I feel a haul coming on, I just read all the informative reviews of a product to help make my decision.

Not that anyone gives a rat’s ass, but here are my fave lip glosses right now.


While we’re at it- presenting the best blush ever. Tried and true. Scary in the compact, perfection on the cheeks.

*I love makeup, but generally look like a Russian whore if I wear more than mascara, blush and lip gloss.

Moving along…

5) All of this online purchasing means lots and lots of packages! Delivered to my doorstep! All the time! My UPS man commented, “It’s like Christmas everyday at this house.” Damn straight. Ok, Ok. So I might have a little addiction to receiving packages in the mail. At least it’s not crystal meth.

6) My favorite blogs listed in my sidebar. Making new cool-as-hell friends from blogging.

7) Online Bill Pay. Access to all of my accounts.

8) Pink Is The New Blog.

9) This Site. Ya know, just in case.

Not-So-Excellent Things about the Internet:

1) The wealth of information about very very bad things that can happen to you from one seemingly harmless symptom. Like, I don’t know, when your husband has a muscle twitch in his arm for two days straight and you have completely convinced yourself he has Lou Gehrig’s Disease or a Pulmonary Embolism in the works. Thank you, Internet.

2) The amount of time I spend reading blogs. I’m beginning to think I have a problem. No, I know I have a problem. Is it really neccesary to check my favorite blogs 10 times a day? Is there a Bloggers Anonymous? Should I start one?

3) Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

4) My increasingly believable rationalization that writing an entry (or taking photos of my makeup, for God’s sake) for my blog is more important than doing my job. Like this shit is paying my bills or something.

5) The decline of face-to-face contact in our daily lives. For instance, ordering items online instead of buying the items at the mom-and-pop store across the street. (Who I am kidding? I love this, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for me.)

6) All in all, I guess I’m just like Troy in Reality Bites. As Lelaina so eloquently put it, “You are a master at the art of time suckage”.

  1. Cocodrie

    October 4, 2005 at 11:21 am

    I must buy that blush. You’ve been telling me to buy that blush for decades, and my cheeks need a little pick me up!

    Sniff, lovvvvve Reality Bites. “He’s so cheesy, I can’t watch him without crackers.”

  2. Lulu

    October 4, 2005 at 12:39 pm

    Do you realize what you’ve just done? You have provided me with a large handful of ways to avoid work- EBay (which I have been to rehab for, Gap!, Norstrom!, MAKEUPALLEY!!!

    I love you.

  3. lini

    October 4, 2005 at 1:10 pm

    You should ALWAYS answer your phone if it is your Mother! It might be important(fantasy football,hair color, gossip from home)

  4. Molly

    October 4, 2005 at 1:33 pm

    I have that same Chanel lip gloss. I have many, many lip glosses and many, many eye shadows and many, many other products and I use the same 4 things every day, and all are boring.

    Am going to check out makeupalley now…

  5. Boogie's Mom

    October 4, 2005 at 6:00 pm

    That blush did look scary, but I may have to take your advice and try it. I can never get blush right, and feel like I always look like a Russian whore when I wear it!

    I have to admit that I’m a little bummed that I’m not on your all-time favorite list, but I guess I’ll have to work a little harder. If only I knew how to illustrate amazing drawings like Brenda! :)

  6. gorillabuns

    October 4, 2005 at 8:57 pm

    i just discovered pink as well!!!
    oohh, i miss the days of shopping for makeup and letting it pile up in my bathroom drawer…
    and you know i’m lovin’ me the ebay right now too. just sold something for the ‘man’ and made a $237.00 commission. you mean you are paying me to play on ebay? silly, silly man.

  7. Tan

    October 4, 2005 at 7:50 pm

    Online customer service rocks. I love how you can keep proof of what they’ve told you :)

  8. Sarcomical

    October 4, 2005 at 11:38 pm

    argh, the internet. it’s such a two-faced friend. giving you love one day and sucking your life away the next. look at me…1:30 am and i can hear that noise….sssssuuuuuck

  9. ms. sizzle

    October 5, 2005 at 11:42 am

    if you are starting a bloggers anonymous, i would like the meeting times. i need it badly. :)

    i heart make up.

    i think i have carpal tunnel.

    i just watched reality bites last weekend (for like the 100th time) and love that quote. time suckage!

  10. Sarcastic Journalist

    October 5, 2005 at 1:15 pm

    I’ve convinced myself that I have cancer/arthritis/meningitis/monkey disease whatever, all thanks to the internet.