As I sat down yesterday afternoon, ready to crank out a post, I made the mistake of finding this piece from yesterday’s New York Times. Bye bye, Monday afternoon. Those comments sucked me in and didn’t let me go until late in the evening – evident from my healthy dinner of smokehouse almonds and a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
It’s just that, Oh My God, where did all of my favorites go? Jell-O Pudding Pops – no longer. (What up, Mr. Cosby?!) The original Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars. The Motorola StarTac phone. Those little triangular side-vent windows in cars, allowing the perfect amount of breeze to circulate without messing up the hair! Gone! Like the Wind!
If you take the time to read through the thousands of comments, you’ll notice that the Honda CRX is greatly missed. I had no idea it was such a reliable, yet zippy, little car. I do know my high school Honda Prelude (with the cute flip-up headlights) was one of my favorites. Ahh, the good old days.
However, things took a turn for the worse. My sweet nostalgia turned into festering anger. What do you mean no more Tato Skins?! I LOVED those chips! Taco Bell-flavored Doritos? And Alphabits cereal?! HOW AM I GOING TO TEACH WITO THE ALPHABET?!
*googling Alphabits cereal*
Oh, I see. The commenters must have been mistaken. Feeling better.
Then, I saw another comment that shook me to the very core. Planters Cheez Balls. Oh, that can’t be…could it? No more Planters Cheez Balls?! In the round tin? No other puffed cheese product compares!
*googling Planters Cheez Balls*
It’s true. It’s true. You can’t even find them on eBay. (Not that I tried. Um, or anything.)
OHMYGODICAN’TLIVEWITHOUTTHECHEEZBALLGOODNESSICAN’TBREATHENOREALLYPANICKY PANICKYHELPSOSHELPSOS.
It’s a very sad day in the Whoorl household. Now, if we could have a moment of silence for my beloved Planters Cheez Balls.
metalia
July 17, 2007 at 3:58 pmOh, I ADORED those little cheese balls!
And!
I have some good news for you! (Well, not for the Whoorl who’s running marathons and whatnot, but for the Whoorl who loves cheese balls, and goes to Costco. That Whoorl.) Feast your eyes on this little baby:
http://utzsnacks1.stores.yahoo.net/barofcheesba.html
Not quite the same, but still fantastic for all of your powdered cheese-covered snack needs, AND they carry it at Costco. And it’s in a BARREL. I may have devoured half of said barrel in one sitting, and then, frightened at myself, abandoned it in my building’s parking garage, hoping that someone would give it a loving home.
It was gone within 2 hours.
I just don’t know, Metalia. Do they melt in your mouth with the same salty artificial goodness?! I’m scared of the let-down. Hold me.
180/360
July 17, 2007 at 4:27 pmThat list is insane! I was just reminiscing of “Push-ups” the other day, but I’m pretty sure they still exist. I definitely enjoyed Jello Pudding Pops as a child. And along the lines of Sizzle’s comment, Whole Foods’ Cheese Puffs are really tasty without the artificiality.
*in the whiniest tone ever* But, I LIIIIIKED the artificiality.
Courtney
July 17, 2007 at 4:47 pmI am so glad I am not the only one that was rocked to the core by the inavailability of pudding pops (ok, maybe that is exaggerating, but not by much). Just in case you all are as obsessive as I am, I found a link that can tell you where to find these (and other delicious treats) at a store near you
http://www.icecreamusa.com/products/product.cfm?u=77567-02023&b=4
So sad that it took a dessert novelites post to pull me out of lurkdom. Shows where my true passion lies, I suppose.
Hey, dessert novelties are NO JOKE. I’m glad we can commiserate together.
BeachMama
July 17, 2007 at 5:12 pmBefore you could buy the pudding pops couldn’t you make them? I remember fondly my Mom pulling homemade pudding pops out of the freezer for use to enjoy. You could certainly try it!
As for Alphabits and Honeycomb, we still have htem in full force up here in Canuck land, a box or two could surely be shipped if you really wanted some.
Jennie
July 17, 2007 at 5:30 pmNot as devastating as Cheez balls, I know, but Yankee Candle Company stopped making the blueberry muffin candle. It’s on eBay for $42 but apparently our budget doesn’t have a blueberry muffin candle column. Stupid bastard budget.
Maya
July 17, 2007 at 7:12 pmSomewhere, I read that the kids of the 80’s are the most brand-nostalgic generation. I miss:
-New York Seltzer sodas
-How big (and tasty!) big sticks used to be…and it isn’t because I’ve gotten bigger – I was just talking about this with my friend.
-TG&Y’s – It had a fabric counter, a jewlery counter, shoes, some clothes, etc – an inexpensive department store. I used to go there with my mom and you could browse through the clothes patterns and than buy them and the fabric to make them, etc.
-SLIPS! Oh, I am SO WITH everyone who commented about ‘plain old black/white slips” especially considering how ridiculously SHEER every single dress and skirt sold now is. And, on pain of sounding like an old fogie: I hate how girls seem to have skipped the whole concept of ‘leaving something to the imagination’.
-Kids getting to be kids, not mini-adults. I see very few little girls’ shoes that don’t have a heel or platform. Thank goodness I don’t have kids!
-Tomatoes with actual flavor.
gorillabuns
July 17, 2007 at 7:51 pmokay, i guess i’m the only one who ate jello pops but found them a little thick…. even though, i did have an obsession with the banana ones.
yes, i said thick.
and i didn’t take the time to read the comments because, i absolutely know, without a m———–g doubt, my 76, four door, brown, buick skylark was not on the list of “zippy cars i missed in the 80’s.”
even though it was the party mobile from hell.
wait! what was the subject of this post?
and dude, they still have TACO flavored potato chips.
not that i know anything on this subject….
and never, EVER, get the jumbo-sized cheese puffs from SAM’S
gorillabuns
July 17, 2007 at 7:52 pmoopsy…
you’ll be disappointed by the texture.
Jennifer
July 17, 2007 at 9:36 pmHoneycomb still exists, they just went and changed the taste of them. Supposedly “better tasting”. They lie. They are all healthy and horribly tasting. Just like Ritz. I want the old Ritz that was made with LARD, not vegetable oil.
I really want some Pepperidge Farm Croissant Pizzas. I miss Apple flavored Cream of Wheat. There is a TGI Fridays version of Tato Skins out there.
A childhood favorite that I miss is the Rocket Lollipops that were rainbow colored. I’m sure they don’t exist anymore because you could lick them into a sharp pin point that probably poked a few kids’ eyes out.
Lawyerish
July 18, 2007 at 5:34 amWe have Tato Skins in our work vending machine, too! I don’t think there are any in there now, but when there are I’ll buy some and try to figure out by whom they’re distributed. Probably some punk-ass vending machine company that’s recycling stale snacks from the 80s. But still: Tato Skins!!
Sadie
July 18, 2007 at 7:22 amI didn’t look past the first page of that link’s comments because I will get yelled at if I am at my desk much longer (“go sell something!”), but I need the Cliffs Notes: did anyone mention Honey Nut Clusters cereal on there? Because that shit is the best cereal EVAH (remember the commercials with the parachuting squirrels?!) and the last few months I have been totally unable to find it in three different grocery chains. *wringing hands*
Also, I have not had a Jell-O pudding pop in about 20 years and suddenly the need is overwhelming. Thanks A LOT!
nabbalicious
July 18, 2007 at 8:28 amI gave in. I’m scrolling through the list now, and this one cracked me up:
Trojan used to make these condoms that were 18 inches long. They were the only ones that fit. Please bring them back.
— Posted by Brendan
Stacy
July 18, 2007 at 8:32 amPudding Pops aren’t gone; I just bought some a couple days ago! They’ve always been around here in Oregon. It’s probably why all you Californians keep moving up here.
Woman with Kids
July 18, 2007 at 11:37 amI actually, at one time, sent an email to the company, demanding to know where to find my cheese balls. Gone *poof*
On the bright side, some grocery stores still sell pudding pops, but not under the JELL-O. Taste just as good.
Nikol
July 18, 2007 at 12:39 pmAre jello pudding pops the same as jello gellatin pops? Because I have been complaining about the discontinuation of jello gellatin pops for almost ten years now. And when, I ask you, WHEN are they gonna bring them back?!
Just when I thought I was over this, I read this post and realized I have unresolved issues with Bill (as in Cosby).
Something is missing in my life, and it tastes fruity and gellatin-y and comes on a stick.
P.S. love the blog; I’m new here.