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Why, Jell-O Pudding Pops? Why?

As I sat down yesterday afternoon, ready to crank out a post, I made the mistake of finding this piece from yesterday’s New York Times. Bye bye, Monday afternoon. Those comments sucked me in and didn’t let me go until late in the evening – evident from my healthy dinner of smokehouse almonds and a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

It’s just that, Oh My God, where did all of my favorites go? Jell-O Pudding Pops – no longer. (What up, Mr. Cosby?!) The original Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars. The Motorola StarTac phone. Those little triangular side-vent windows in cars, allowing the perfect amount of breeze to circulate without messing up the hair! Gone! Like the Wind!

If you take the time to read through the thousands of comments, you’ll notice that the Honda CRX is greatly missed. I had no idea it was such a reliable, yet zippy, little car. I do know my high school Honda Prelude (with the cute flip-up headlights) was one of my favorites. Ahh, the good old days.

However, things took a turn for the worse. My sweet nostalgia turned into festering anger. What do you mean no more Tato Skins?! I LOVED those chips! Taco Bell-flavored Doritos? And Alphabits cereal?! HOW AM I GOING TO TEACH WITO THE ALPHABET?!

*googling Alphabits cereal*

Oh, I see. The commenters must have been mistaken. Feeling better.

Then, I saw another comment that shook me to the very core. Planters Cheez Balls. Oh, that can’t be…could it? No more Planters Cheez Balls?! In the round tin? No other puffed cheese product compares!

*googling Planters Cheez Balls*

It’s true. It’s true. You can’t even find them on eBay. (Not that I tried. Um, or anything.)

OHMYGODICAN’TLIVEWITHOUTTHECHEEZBALLGOODNESSICAN’TBREATHENOREALLYPANICKY PANICKYHELPSOSHELPSOS.

It’s a very sad day in the Whoorl household. Now, if we could have a moment of silence for my beloved Planters Cheez Balls.

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62 Comments
  • Rhi

    July 17, 2007 at 9:23 am

    We have Tato Skins in the vending machine here at work. Maybe Microsoft bought them all up for the employees?

    WHAT? WHAT KIND?

  • Rhi

    July 17, 2007 at 9:35 am

    back to point out that it’s your fault if I get nothing done at work today.

    Ha! You’ve been sucked into the Black Hole.

  • LVGurl

    July 17, 2007 at 8:44 am

    Oh, I can taste a Pudding Pop now… the swirly vanilla and chocolate one.

    My first car was a 1985 Honda CRX!! I loved that thing. My parents wanted me to have a two-seater, so I could only drive one other person around. Fools! I managed to stuff in three people on a regular basis.

    Swirls were the best.

  • Natalie 42

    July 17, 2007 at 9:04 am

    Waitasecond….panic setting in….here it comes and OH MY GOD!!!! No more Planters Cheese Balls?! Look…this can’t be! I mean they no longer make the Cheeto Cheese Balls (/tear) and I relied on Planters to be there for me forever more. Now this gut punch? Great. The other thing on the list that makes me shed many tears are the Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars. Those were the shi-IT. I knew they were gone though, long ago and I cried many a night. And by “cried many a night” I mean threw out lots of “Fuck!…no way!!”s in the middle of the grocery store.

    What’s become of us. WHHYYYYYYHYYY

  • Madhouse Wife

    July 17, 2007 at 9:04 am

    I actually blogged about the day last fall when I found the Pudding Pop at the grocery store and the joy left in my heart over that discovery. *sigh*
    It’s not off the market again is it?! Go here: http://www.popsicle.com/products/individual/index.cfm?upc=02023

    But, where can you buyyyyyyyyyy them?! (In my most whiny tone.)

  • MO

    July 17, 2007 at 9:10 am

    Jell-o pudding pops rock! The swirl one is the best. I had them about a year ago in SC ( We are lagging a little behind)have not seen them since~

    Swirls!

  • Karly

    July 17, 2007 at 10:11 am

    No more Cheez Balls?? But I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE! :(

  • andrea

    July 17, 2007 at 9:21 am

    I miss the Jell-O pudding pops, the popsicle brand ones are good, but really not quite the same. I will say that they got me through a very hot July, during which I was nine months pregnant, so they work in a pinch.

    Glad I never had a Planters cheese ball. I am quite certain I would have loved them and in turn would be really upset right now.

    Well, they were quite perfect. *sniff sniff*

  • undercover celebrity

    July 17, 2007 at 9:30 am

    Oh those comments are addicting! I think I started reading them an hour ago — couldn’t pull myself away.

    I, too, was stunned by the underground love of the CRX. Who knew?!

    I am totally on the simpler cell phone brigade. I love technology, but I would so very readily trade in the poor-excuse-for-a camera, mp3 player, and inspiring color display for a phone with seemingly unending battery life.

    Oh, and while we’re at it — forget Taco Bell Doritos — remember Monterey Jack? Ahhh, so delicious!

    I don’t remember Monterey Jack! I bet those were gooooood. I noticed some Salsa Verde Doritos comments – were those tasty?

  • Jen

    July 17, 2007 at 9:32 am

    I would stab a complete stranger on the street for a Jell-O Pudding Pop right about now. And man! My grandpa used to have those Planters Cheez Balls all the time. So sad. Because my grandpa is not around anymore either. What up, Planters?

    Now, that’s devotion.

  • rebecca

    July 17, 2007 at 9:33 am

    Are Jello pudding pops SERIOUSLY not available anymore? That is a BLOW. I had no idea! And now I want one.

    I know, and they would be perfect for your preggers condition in this heat.

  • rebecca

    July 17, 2007 at 9:49 am

    I’m not kidding when I tell you that since I read this post and left my earlier comment, I have been thinking nonstop of Jello pudding pops. Rest assured that I will be combing the freezer aisle tonight, searching for a (probably completely unacceptable) substitute.

    Devastating.

  • sizzle

    July 17, 2007 at 9:58 am

    ok but if you really loved those things wouldn’t you have known they were extinct? ;) i know it’s not the same but the trader joe’s cheese puffs are pretty damn good. be brave!

    Point taken. Ahem.

  • Dad Gone Mad

    July 17, 2007 at 10:26 am

    Those Carnation breakfast bars were so deliciously nasty. They tasted like chalk but I didn’t care. They were perfect.

    Adobe PageMaker
    The original Air Jordans
    Thrifty’s ice cream (15 cents/scoop)
    Honeycombs cereal
    Johnny Carson
    Investigative reporting
    Toyota Celica
    Video games at 7-11
    Video One with Richard Blade after school on channel 9
    Beer cans with a pull tab

    I could go on but I’m feeling really old and deprived right now. [whimper]

    OH SWEET JEBUS, video games at 7-11!! I loved playing video games at 7-11! There was one across the street from my house- I’d save up all my change, buy some Nerds and play the video games. Pole Position!

    On another note, did you ever play River Raid on the Atari? My dad got the highest score ever. Like we took a picture of him standing next to the TV. My dad, River Raid Champion.

    OR, did you ever play MS-DOS games? Just entering code at the prompt? There was some game involving gemstones and hobbits….

    Clearly, you’ve got my synapses firing on all cylinders.

  • Natalie 42

    July 17, 2007 at 10:41 am

    Oh I forgot to mention my love of the Tato Skins. Good God those were addictive. An ode to the Tato Skin:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziPERhXCn68

    Also, does anyone remember those snacks called Conquistos? They’re basically Combos but like WAY better and came way before the sad little Combos. They were so full of that cheesy …stuff that you could suck the cheese out of them (can you say zexy?!). Man, they were just…gone one day. OH! And Bonkers! *pours out some fruit juice for mah Bonkers*

    And PS – I have now wasted a great deal of my afternoon thinking of old snicky snacks. I think I’m officially over this job.

    Conquistos rocked! GODDAMN!

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