Tips For Prospective Nannies

1. Do not have a publicly accessible Myspace account.

2. Do not include myriads of photos of yourself drinking, smoking and licking your friends’ faces.

3. Do not make up stories about families you’ve nannied for in your past 15 years of experience.

4. Do not decline a 9:00am breakfast meeting because you have “an early breakfast outing with family”, only to show up at the 10:30am meeting time with wet hair pulled back into a bun. It might be a tad obvious that you just came from the shower. And honey, I can smell hangover from a mile away. Trust me, I am The Hangover Expert.

5. Do not make your friends pretend they are your work references. Do not tell me your married-with-kids reference is in Europe, when in actuality she’s single, has her own Myspace account, and apparently from her comment on your Myspace account, was partying with you in California last night.

6. Do not replicate unique grammatical errors in both your emails and your falsely-created reference emails.

7. Do not assume that mothers aren’t smart or technically savvy.

8. Do not fool yourself into thinking that mothers aren’t extremely intuitive when it comes to protecting their children.

9. Do NOT wonder why you weren’t hired.

I have found an absolutely wonderful, WONDERFUL nanny for Whoorlito who obviously has not committed any of these jackass maneuvers and additionally has passed my 1,225-point inspection. Cheers!

  1. Tricia

    November 26, 2006 at 1:31 pm

    I love to see when paranoia pays off. Congrats on intuition and careful suspicion.

  2. Leanna

    November 26, 2006 at 6:44 pm

    Congrats on the Nanny find!

  3. abbersnail

    November 26, 2006 at 7:21 pm

    Um… ew. Just ew. Who ARE these people?

  4. metalia

    November 26, 2006 at 7:27 pm

    Oh my lord! That’s insane, and appalling. Congrats on finding a good nanny, though!

    In light of the bad one’s flaws, though (and there are clearly many), maybe consider posting her on isawyournanny.blogspot.com? Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like, and it is kind of crazy, but you may spare some nearby mom who lacks you instincts, and mad detective skillz :)

  5. Veronique

    November 26, 2006 at 8:03 pm

    And she actually wanted to be a nanny??!?

    I’m glad you found a great one in the end :) Congrats

  6. Elizabeth

    November 26, 2006 at 8:12 pm

    yaayyy.. I’m so glad that you have found someone that you are happy with.

  7. nabbalicious

    November 26, 2006 at 9:46 pm

    DUDE! What is the matter with people?

    And your instincts are the shit. Good detective work!

  8. Heather

    November 27, 2006 at 5:22 am

    Congrats on the Nanny! Hope it all works out for you.

  9. Jessie

    November 27, 2006 at 6:09 am

    Those are good tips ;) Really, whouldn’t you think people would know better? Glad you found someone who was much brighter than the example above.

  10. Jecca

    November 27, 2006 at 10:59 am

    Excellent sleuthing, and hooray for finding someone who is not any of these things! (And please, please tell me that you told her all this stuff — that she knows just how busted she is.)

  11. ms. sizzle

    November 27, 2006 at 1:01 pm

    good god! no wonder you were so good at that on line detective game. ;) my supervisor at my new job checked out candidates on my space. she weeded out some anarchists. ha. that’s good thinking whoorl. you’re one smart cookie. anders is so lucky!

  12. Sarcomical

    November 27, 2006 at 2:11 pm


    truly disturbing.

  13. Darren

    November 27, 2006 at 7:33 am

    Was this all from the same person? Good lord!

    Congrats on finding a nanny, though. That must have been nerve-racking!

  14. Darren

    November 27, 2006 at 7:34 am

    Was this all from the same person? Good lord!

    Congrats on finding a nanny, though. That must have been nerve-racking!

  15. Wacky Mommy

    November 27, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    Rock on!