Tips For Prospective Nannies

1. Do not have a publicly accessible Myspace account.

2. Do not include myriads of photos of yourself drinking, smoking and licking your friends’ faces.

3. Do not make up stories about families you’ve nannied for in your past 15 years of experience.

4. Do not decline a 9:00am breakfast meeting because you have “an early breakfast outing with family”, only to show up at the 10:30am meeting time with wet hair pulled back into a bun. It might be a tad obvious that you just came from the shower. And honey, I can smell hangover from a mile away. Trust me, I am The Hangover Expert.

5. Do not make your friends pretend they are your work references. Do not tell me your married-with-kids reference is in Europe, when in actuality she’s single, has her own Myspace account, and apparently from her comment on your Myspace account, was partying with you in California last night.

6. Do not replicate unique grammatical errors in both your emails and your falsely-created reference emails.

7. Do not assume that mothers aren’t smart or technically savvy.

8. Do not fool yourself into thinking that mothers aren’t extremely intuitive when it comes to protecting their children.

9. Do NOT wonder why you weren’t hired.

I have found an absolutely wonderful, WONDERFUL nanny for Whoorlito who obviously has not committed any of these jackass maneuvers and additionally has passed my 1,225-point inspection. Cheers!

  1. Jen

    November 26, 2006 at 9:59 am

    Wow. Just … wow. I really feel for you.

  2. Angella

    November 26, 2006 at 10:06 am

    Oh. My. Word! Seriously. I hope the other prospective nannies are wonderful!

  3. reddirtroad

    November 26, 2006 at 10:07 am

    11. Do NOT mess with the Whoorl.

  4. Sadie

    November 26, 2006 at 10:22 am

    Holy shit, one of your prospective nannies really did this stuff?! My God, people are so dumb. I would love it if you’d please blow up this chick’s spot when you tell her she’s not getting the job. PLEASE.

    Also – I am sure you’ll find someone who meets your criteria, and take wonderful care of Anders. Hopefully, in the next what, 48 hours?

  5. Holly

    November 26, 2006 at 10:25 am

    No way! Thank the almighty fantastic intuition of being a mother, women & Whoorl!

  6. Jennifer

    November 26, 2006 at 10:53 am

    Silly Nanny! So glad you found the perfect one. I’m exhausted just reading about the Nanny search. Still shocked that someone who tried to get the job was so blatantly stupid.

  7. Jora

    November 26, 2006 at 11:23 am

    congratulations on finding a wonderful nanny. your hard, hard work obviously paid off!

  8. jonniker

    November 26, 2006 at 12:03 pm

    Oh my God. Seriously? That’s horrific, just HORRIFIC. My Space! Swinging! Wet hair! The LIST JUST GOES ON AND ON.

  9. Maliavale

    November 26, 2006 at 12:09 pm

    That list could also be entitled 10 Reasons I Hate People.

    Hurrah for finding someone, however!

  10. Melanie

    November 26, 2006 at 12:12 pm

    De-Lurking to say, I LOVE THIS POST!!!
    Thanks for the great read, I wish you well with your chosen nanny,she has big shoes to fill!

  11. irish mistery

    November 26, 2006 at 12:24 pm

    Congrats on finding the best Nanny! Can’t believe there’s people out there with all the ‘nanny offending’ behaviours you’ve listed!

  12. Alex

    November 26, 2006 at 12:28 pm

    Some people are so sketchy. Glad you found a good nanny!!

  13. rebecca

    November 26, 2006 at 12:41 pm

    DUDE. And OMG, just under the wire!

  14. Anne Glamore

    November 26, 2006 at 1:17 pm

    That’s so awful it’s fabulous. I mean, you’ll be telling THIS story forever.

  15. BeachMama

    November 26, 2006 at 1:22 pm


    Happy to hear that despite all the other quacks out there, you were able to find one you like. Hope the transition goes smoothly.