Hello! I came this close to flashing my nether regions to my neighbors this morning!
I also went grocery shopping! Without my wallet! This unfortunate fact became crystal clear while standing in the checkout line. Did I mention it was 5pm? Clearly not the best time to interact with the masses while wrangling a toddler, since most early evening grocery shoppers HATE BABIES.
Let’s drink. And eat candy.
I’m forming a bad habit. A habit that involves Haribo Gummi Bears, which frankly, is surprising, given the lack of candy around our house.
You see, D hates candy. He loves chocolate, but the sugary Willy Wonka-type stuff makes him quite surly. In fact, I have a theory that he’s suppressed some horrible, nightmarish memory involving candy from his childhood. I mean, he’s just so WEIRD about it, all up in my face, “Did you BUY those Lemonheads? Huh? How did THAT happen?”
Freak.
During a parental visit several years ago, we happened upon a fantastic candy shop. Of course, MY family (owners of the infamous candy drawer) started salivating like dogs at the thought of salt water taffy, imported black licorice (blech, but my dad loves it) and old school delights. As we sprinted towards the candy baskets, D stood outside the entrance looking like he had just smelled a vicious fart. I asked him what his deal was, and he responded, “I think I’ll just wait out here. I mean, it’s CANDY.” (insert judgemental snobbery)
LIKE ENTERING THE CANDY SHOP WAS SO BENEATH HIM. He stood outside the entire time. (Probably checking out his reflection in the candy shop window.)
Sometimes, I wonder about my mental faculties on the day I accepted his marriage proposal.
However, I must admit, I think he’s on to something. Whenever I eat candy, I always feel like shit afterwards- my stomach cramps, my head aches, etc. So, we just don’t buy it. The end.
Well, as I was perusing the aisles of Target a couple of weeks ago, I notice some Haribo Gummi Bears beckoning me from afar. I figured what the hell, threw them in the cart, and brought those puppies home with me.
Somehow, these Gummi Bears have become candied encouragement while practicing my guitar. (Did I mention I am taking classical guitar lessons? And that it’s killing me slowly? Yet, I CAN’T QUIT YOU, RAMÓN.) Every time I screw up (which is A LOT OF THE TIME), I pop one in my mouth and carry on like a wayward son.
My whole point is this:
My tummy hurts. Send help.
RA
March 6, 2008 at 7:20 amI love anything that is gummy, though I can take or leave sour candy. Chocolate just makes me shrug. I know, it’s unfeminine. But give me sugar all day, so long as I don’t have to pay the dental bill!
I say all of this with a bag of Swedish fish next to me. The inferior, large ones. But they’ll do.
Mel
March 6, 2008 at 8:44 amI love disgusting sugary candies as well. And now I must have those gummi bears….Mmm….
Heather
March 6, 2008 at 8:14 amI love all disgusting, sugary candy, too, and Darren would often scrunch up his nose when I ate it and say it was like dating a 3-year-old. True, but candy buttons just make life better.
rebecca
March 6, 2008 at 8:50 amMmmm… gummy bears!!
lini
March 6, 2008 at 9:28 amWhat did you do at the store? I have done the same and lucky for me, a friend was in line behind me.
Natalie, your are thinking of Todos Santos, really good candy!
Nothing But Bonfires
March 6, 2008 at 9:59 amOh man, I’m right there with you on the candy. IT MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD AND STILL I GO BACK TO IT, AGAIN AND AGAIN. Candy is like an abusive husband and I’m the disillusioned wife going “no, this time it’ll be better, I swear!”
I once used Haribo Gummy Bears to get through an interminable German exchange trip when I was 16. And considering it was Germany, there were an awful lot of Haribo Gummy Bears available to me.
Last thing: we forgot to cancel the Amazon Prime free membership and then we were all “screw it, we’re stuck with it now.” It’s kind of the best thing that ever happened, because you only have to conceive of the VAGUEST NOTION that you want a particular book or cosmetic (YES!) and the next day it’s on your doorstep in a brown box. Very dangerous. Very awesome.
Erin
March 6, 2008 at 10:18 amI love the Haribo gummy bears! But you have to try them refrigerated. Seriously, they are excellent cold and it also keeps you from eating too many because they’re harder to chew. Win-win situation.
Amanda
March 6, 2008 at 10:31 amOoo Haribo Gummy Bears… not too gummy, not too chewy, just right. I like to bite their heads off and stick two together. I’m not sure why I still have to play with it, like I’m seven or something, but I do.
I’m the same way about candy. Love it, but hate the feeling afterwords. Especially the need to brush my teeth immediately. And the nasty sugary after-taste. Bluck. I’m working on a bag of Jelly Belly’s as we speak. And I really want to brush my teeth.
Dani
March 6, 2008 at 12:13 pmI started Weight Watchers in January and, subsequently, quit buying candy. ‘Cause, y’know, I eat it. All of it. And then I’m sick and fatter than I was when I started. Not that you’re fat. I’m wicked jealous of how NOT fat you are.
But a couple of weeks ago I was in the grocery store and they had a big basket of Valentine’s Day candy, on major sale, beckoning to me. Among the nasty marshmallow things I spotted a bag of Hershey’s Hugs. Milk chocolate and white chocolate? OMGYUM!!!!!
They sat in my pantry for awhile… until yesterday. When I came home from work, cranky, stressed, and depressed, I went to the pantry, opened the bag of Hugs, and poured them into my mouth. Well, I took the little foil things off first, but you get my gist.
And as I was reading this post, I was putting more into my mouth. They’re sooooo goooooood.
If I were wise, I’d throw them away. But I’m not. So I’ll eat them, and my weigh-in next week is going to suck and I’m going to have a stomachache for days, but, it’s chocolate. And it’s gooooood.
gorillabuns
March 6, 2008 at 11:27 amHave I ever mentioned your father is beyond awesome?
Sarcomical
March 6, 2008 at 11:37 amyou know what will REALLY make you sick???
binge eating sourpatch kids.
dear god.
thankfully, i haven’t done that one for about 8 years. the sheer memory gives me indigestion.
Allison
March 6, 2008 at 1:03 pmI also ate my weight in Haribo Gummi Bears while in Germany (and I’m a big girl – that’s a lot of gummi-yummi), I also love the white ones – totally my favorite! – and I also like to bite the heads off and stick them together! The other wonderful thing? Sucking on one until it gets all slimy. Wow – that sounds a lot grosser than it really is… Promise…
am'ti b
March 6, 2008 at 2:43 pmi think d’s candy issue has something to do with his lack of interest in movies. he, as far as i know, is the only person in his family that does not indulge in both!
Chandra
March 6, 2008 at 5:55 pmAmazon, for candy. Oh dear watch out! I just looked up their Strawberry/Banana laffy taffy (the combo). Qty 36. I’m seriously tempted. What have you done to me Whoorl?? I’m a fruity candy JUNKIE. Chocolate only if I’m desperate and all that I have. Three cheers for delicious candy! I suppose I should wrap this up with the fact that my husband is type 1 diabetic and not a fan of candy. My family grosses him out most of the time.
Heather B.
March 7, 2008 at 4:53 amI’ve been trying to NOT eat gummy bears and thanks to you, I would like a box of them.
Remind me to express my thanks to you some day. Grrr also YUM.