The Bachelor Recap: It’s Okay. It’s Really Okay.


Kristen and I had mid-winter break last week, hence the lack of recap, but we’re back. And see those faces? Those are our WE CALLED IT faces. Juan Pablo, man. What else could we possibly have to say about him?

Well, apparently, 20 minutes worth. (We did  have four hours of material to work with, people.)

Does anyone out there still like this guy? We promise not to shame you if that’s the case.

  1. Traci

    February 27, 2014 at 9:33 am

    These are hilarious. I just had to comment and say I love your polka dots today! You both look great! :]

    • whoorl

      February 27, 2014 at 4:51 pm

      Thank you! My polka dots are actually tiny umbrellas. Love ’em!

      • Traci

        February 28, 2014 at 12:41 pm

        Love the “polka dots” even more knowing that!

  2. ChrisB

    February 27, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    after Tuesday nights episode I actually like him much better than I did before (I was never that thrilled with him to begin with, the guy is obviously on this show to become famous, as are most of the women), but I seriously lost all respect for Andi. I always thought of her as most grounded of all the women and would have respected her so much more if she had just said: “Hey, I just realized after the overnight that JP is not for me. he is a bit shallow and does seem to have no interest in actually getting to know me but rather talks about himself”. The End! But no, she goes on and on and on and on… for what must have been an eternity. I am guessing she was hoping he’d break down, fall to his knees and beg her to stay because she is “the one”. Well, as he said, he can’t force her to love him. That really is the end of it and yes, “it is totally OK” on that show! We are talking a show that has a very low success rate is being watched for pure entertainment value.

  3. Kristiina

    February 28, 2014 at 9:43 am

    I cut Andi some slack–you know the producers made that departure way more than it should have been….great recap–I loved your analysis of juan pablo…it helps understand why hemdoesmwhatbhe does. :)

  4. Hettie

    March 1, 2014 at 10:05 am

    Oh no, I’ve been eagerly awaiting your recap and the video is not playing for me. :(

  5. Karen

    March 1, 2014 at 5:39 pm

    I think Andi just felt like she needed him to have a response. It was sort of like telling someone their hair was on fire and then to have them slowly nod and say, “That’s OK.” And then you’d be like, “Seriously, dude, your entire head is in flames!” and then he’d say, “I reeeally reallly respect you for telling me that. Thank you. You are a really amazing person and also very beautiful.”

    I think she was expecting him to give her something to respond to so she could have turned on her heels and stormed off in her lacy diaper shorts and really given the TV crew a good scene to film. But he didn’t give her anything! So if his head HAD been on fire (and I sort of wish it had been — but is gel really very flammable?), she’d have still been standing there with a bucket of water and eventually just got bored and wandered off because he didn’t seem to really care about his scalp inferno. Also his not caring was like not caring to the nth degree of not caring. He made apathy seem like a party, his apathy was so intense, it was like a confusing world of even-deeper-apathy-than-apathy, which was extra weird considering he’d just been filmed as a talking head discussing what a great wife Andi would make.

    And then, even after she’s called him an asshole, he’s still reaching out and touching her face (eyebrow?) and she’s like, “WTF are you doing to my makeup?” STOP TOUCHING THEIR FACES, JUAN PABLO. I wonder if he reaches out and strokes the face of his barista at Starbucks when she hands him his cappuccino?

    Anyway, I think because he didn’t seem to be registering or processing anything she was saying, I think she felt like she had to keep saying it and re-wording it until he GOT it, but he was never ever ever going to get it! Never! So then instead of the satisfaction of storming off away from a fight, she was left to just kind of run out of ways to outline how he was a douchebag and just wander away in her ruffled pull-ups.

    PS – I have been to those places on St. Lucia! It is every bit as beautiful as it looks. I’m mostly watching it now to shout things like, “OMG, I SNORKELLED AT THAT BEACH!” I will have to have therapy after this season so I can disassociate Juan Pablo from a place that I formerly loved and would like to love again in the future without having to think about JP having his trifecta of sex dates there.

  6. Michelle

    March 11, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    I missed seeing you and Kristen do a recap of last week’s show. By now I’ve seen the finale and “After the Rose” but wanted catch up on the recaps I missed.

    Going back to episode 7: I felt so bad for Sharleen as I really liked her and was rooting for her. This was something she did considering she likes to be in control and I think she should have gone with her first instinct when she really wasn’t that into Juan Pablo the first time he gave her a rose. Also think she was set on a type of guy and he didn’t match that type. I get that she didn’t feel sure and in the end she said he didn’t have what she wanted in a forever. So glad she left after knowing the end result. Felt bad for Chelsea in this episode as well as she seemed very keen on JP. I thought Nikki was so rude in this episode when she said she didn’t want to be around the girls anymore and then her and Clare were so awkward sitting on the couch and no one else was around. You could hear crickets chirping. The whole reason Clare and Nikki don’t get along is because Nikki just left the room when Clare and others were having a conversion and Clare confronted her about it and it got ugly from there.

    I love your ring in this recap.

    Clare has had work I’m sure. Her sister Laura seemed quite strange and I agree there is something the show didn’t show us because it all seemed very awkward. Renee is now engaged to someone she has known for awhile and I’m happy for her and glad Juan let her go.

    So glad that Andi left and good for her but she wanting water from a rock and JP couldn’t give her the answers she wanted so I agree she should have just left.

    I think the majority of the women have sex in the fantasy suite and I think it’s one after the other. It’s the appearance of what happens that brings me to this conclusion.