I had such a fantastic time at Blogher. In a teeny nutshell, I was just so thrilled to be surrounded by smart, hilarious and well-rounded women instead of wiping dookie booty all day. (Can I get an AMEN?)
I think my personal high (LOW! LOW!) point of the weekend had to be “dancing” at the Mighty Haus launch party. Now, one would think that upon being invited to a party hosted by the lovely Maggie Mason, you would keep a certain air of composure about yourself as you navigate through the space and guests. And I did that…for about the first hour or so.
It’s just that people started to dance. And I really didn’t WANT to dance, but bodies were filing onto the dance floor and my adrenaline started pumping, and well, you’ll see.
Lucky for you, after noticing some photos on Flickr (thanks to Greeblemonkey and Mrs. Flinger), I can recreate this atrocity for your viewing pleasure with a mere five photos.
There I am, making my way onto the dance floor. You can smell the determination in the air, can’t you?
Here is my trademark warm-up maneuver. I like to walk around the floor, clapping my hands next to my ear, much like the Paso Doble. Look how Heather is rendered helpless by my matador-like movement. There is no denying it, she wants me.
After the blood starts pumping, I launch into a contemporary performance art piece that Mia Michaels might as well have choreographed herself. Now, to the untrained eye, it seems I’m attempting the Charleston, but check out the back of my shirt. See how it’s airborne? This could only mean I’m at the tail end of David Lee Roth-type jumping maneuver. Leslie and Alana are AMAZED by my dancing prowess.
Seriously, I have no idea.
The pièce de résistance. My beloved Sprinkler maneuver. Let’s chat about this photo for a second.
1. Take notice of my face color. No, not reddish purple from embarrassment, but from INTENSITY. The Sprinkler is no joke, people.
2. I wonder, am I actually singing AND dancing at the same time? Or is it more of a guttural grunt, much like Serena Williams playing tennis?
3. My shirt buttons are literally holding on for dear life. Like I said, such is the Intensity of The Sprinkler.
4. The crotch of my pants is halfway down to my knees. This can only mean that the Van Halen jumps have loosened my pants considerably.
5. Will you marvel at my hand form? Mary Murphy would have nothing but praise for my lines.
All in all, I’m wondering about SYTYCD’s age limit for auditions because I am SO THERE NEXT YEAR.
JanssenJuly 25, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Holy crap, you rock, woman. I wish I could just be that awesome – instead I’m always the one feeling like a fool.
bethanyJuly 25, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Oh, lawsie…funny lady, I swear, you be killin me! I really MUST become popular and make it to BlogHer one day. The low riding crotch pic is my fav. Hahahaha! You are on my hot tamale train…….GOD, I can’t believe I just said that. Mary Murphy gives me hives! But I love the show, and miss my sweet Courtney and Gev:( But that’s neither here nor there. Glad you had a blast!
KailiJuly 25, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Haha! Awesome! Love the sprinkler!
ChandraJuly 26, 2008 at 6:06 am
Ahhh….. thanks for the morning laugh while I’m wiping dooky bootie.
Camels & ChocolateJuly 26, 2008 at 9:08 am
OMG, you kill me. I’m choking from laughter after reading this. I’ll be sending you my hospital bill.
Mrs. FlingerJuly 26, 2008 at 11:44 am
Possibly THE BEST RECAP EVAH. Dying here. Love Dying. XO
KarenJuly 26, 2008 at 12:49 pm
You are on that “Hot Tamale Train” baby… but despite the moves, I think it’s the hair that would get you the most votes. Beaut-i-licious!
Blogher ’09, you gotta save a dance for me ;)
krisJuly 26, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Yeah, see? I didn’t have the full-on “I can’t believe I effing missed BlogHer” ache until I saw these. You rock. ’09 it is.
Domestic DivaJuly 26, 2008 at 3:23 pm
nice “moves” and i use that term loosely. It looks like you had a ton of fun though.
Aimee GreeblemonkeyJuly 26, 2008 at 11:15 pm
I am alternating between laughing, smiling, laughing, smiling, laughing smiling and wanting to fly you here to Denver to start all over again.
DeidreJuly 28, 2008 at 1:02 am
Haha…I do not have your sprinkler-ing prowess and only resort to it in times of great need. However, I rock the running man something fierce.
angeliqueJuly 28, 2008 at 6:14 am
delurking to say: so good! thanks for sharing.
JoraJuly 28, 2008 at 7:18 am
One more thing: if you ever get a “Favorite Posts” section, this MUST go at the top of the list!
CalealJuly 28, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I am, quite literally, in awe of the fierceness that is the sprinkler.
rebeccaJuly 29, 2008 at 9:01 am
Sorry I missed the dancing Whoorl! I love the red-faced sprinkler picture… it is AWESOME.