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So You Think You Can Dance – Blogher Edition

I had such a fantastic time at Blogher. In a teeny nutshell, I was just so thrilled to be surrounded by smart, hilarious and well-rounded women instead of wiping dookie booty all day. (Can I get an AMEN?)

I think my personal high (LOW! LOW!) point of the weekend had to be “dancing” at the Mighty Haus launch party. Now, one would think that upon being invited to a party hosted by the lovely Maggie Mason, you would keep a certain air of composure about yourself as you navigate through the space and guests. And I did that…for about the first hour or so.

It’s just that people started to dance. And I really didn’t WANT to dance, but bodies were filing onto the dance floor and my adrenaline started pumping, and well, you’ll see.

Lucky for you, after noticing some photos on Flickr (thanks to Greeblemonkey and Mrs. Flinger), I can recreate this atrocity for your viewing pleasure with a mere five photos.

Photo #1:

dance.jpg

There I am, making my way onto the dance floor. You can smell the determination in the air, can’t you?

Photo #2:

dance2.jpg

Here is my trademark warm-up maneuver. I like to walk around the floor, clapping my hands next to my ear, much like the Paso Doble. Look how Heather is rendered helpless by my matador-like movement. There is no denying it, she wants me.

Photo #3:

dance3.jpg

After the blood starts pumping, I launch into a contemporary performance art piece that Mia Michaels might as well have choreographed herself. Now, to the untrained eye, it seems I’m attempting the Charleston, but check out the back of my shirt. See how it’s airborne? This could only mean I’m at the tail end of David Lee Roth-type jumping maneuver. Leslie and Alana are AMAZED by my dancing prowess.

Photo #4:

dance5.jpg

Seriously, I have no idea.

Photo #5:

dance4.jpg

The pièce de résistance. My beloved Sprinkler maneuver. Let’s chat about this photo for a second.

1. Take notice of my face color. No, not reddish purple from embarrassment, but from INTENSITY. The Sprinkler is no joke, people.

2. I wonder, am I actually singing AND dancing at the same time? Or is it more of a guttural grunt, much like Serena Williams playing tennis?

3. My shirt buttons are literally holding on for dear life. Like I said, such is the Intensity of The Sprinkler.

4. The crotch of my pants is halfway down to my knees. This can only mean that the Van Halen jumps have loosened my pants considerably.

5. Will you marvel at my hand form? Mary Murphy would have nothing but praise for my lines.

All in all, I’m wondering about SYTYCD’s age limit for auditions because I am SO THERE NEXT YEAR.

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42 Comments
  • Lawyerish

    July 25, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    You are extremely awesome.

    Also, could you BELIEVE the results last night?? I am INCREDULOUS.

    (I’m not getting into specifics in case there is anyone reading who has not seen it yet).

    But STILL. OMG.

  • Backpacking Dad

    July 25, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    #4 looks like you are just about to draw your right hand back across your eyes in the Imaginary Mask Vee position (aka the Sensual Bandit).

    Only a professional should attempt that while going faster than shutter-speed, as you clearly were.

  • sizzle

    July 25, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    I wish I had been there in person. I feel like I’m missing out on the ENERGY of the dance here. ;-)

  • Angela

    July 25, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    I am kicking myself in the ASS right now for leaving before The Sprinkler. DAMNIT!

  • Rhi

    July 25, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    This has made my afternoon, and I love you for it. That is all.

  • ali

    July 25, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    how did i miss this????!?!?! oh yes…we were stealing cheetos…

  • moosh in indy.

    July 25, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Why was I not at THAT party? Why did I get stuck at the ones where NO ONE was dancing?

  • Kristin

    July 25, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Hilarious. What’s really impressive is that your hair still looks great.

  • Jora

    July 25, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    Oh my god. I haven’t laughed out loud like that in awhile. Thank you, thank you for this!! p.s. glad you had a good time not wiping dookie booty.

  • metalia

    July 25, 2008 at 4:44 pm

    Hahaaaa. AWESOME. I say you deserve a ticket on…THE HOT TAMALE TRAINNNNNN [insert nonsensical, unintelligible shrieking here]!.

    (PS: I’m still not over what happened last night. Seriously.)

  • Nothing But Bonfires

    July 25, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    Even seeing it in person could not compare with seeing it in these five shots. Amazing.

  • caroline

    July 25, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Bwahhhhhhhhhhh. That is simply a gorgeous sight to behold!

    I’d be remiss not to thank your mother, whose many hot dance moves (the shopping cart, holla!) have taught you well.

  • regan

    July 25, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    I rock the Sprinkler too! We should get together at next year’s BlogHer and have a synchronized Sprinkler routine.

  • Angella

    July 25, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    This *almost* makes me wish I had joined in instead of snickering on the sidelines.

    Almost.

    Besides, I don’t have half of the moves that you do.

  • Michelle

    July 25, 2008 at 7:22 pm

    “The Sprinkler” – that’s hilarious :o) And the “Paso Doble”….so funny! Glad you had fun at Blogher! Your HT with the adorable Aussie was super, btw :o) Take care!

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