I had a bizarro dream last night. I blame my raging sinus infection. The pressure in my cranium is so intense, it is forcing neuron synapses in my dream sector, resulting in Rawwwrrr, PPD (Pregnancy Porn Dreams)! Oh, the google searches that will ensue!

Ok, it really wasn’t a porn dream, but it was beyond strange. D and I were at a bar, where we hit it off with Uma Thurman and some short Asian man. So, the four of us decide to go back this huge bustling hotel. Like this kind of behavior was totally normal, or something? CLEARLY, this three-week long battle with my sinuses has turned me into a freaky-dream sicko.

We got back to the hotel room and all hopped in the sack in our skivvies. I noticed Uma was getting all of D’s attention! I yelled “HELLOOOO, I’m over here, assholes!”, which made the short Asian man give me quite the lusting look. Come to think of it, it was Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles. I was very much NOT into the Donger, so I pretended to be asleep. Well, would you want to get with this? Then, all of the sudden, Uma was professing her love to me and I had to bail. I got up to leave the room and noticed around 100 people staring at us through a huge window.

What in the hell?

The good news is that I officially have been put on antibiotics to help fight the infection, and don’t worry, it’s Pregnancy Category B, my doctor said it is perfectly safe and my internet searches consisting of

Amoxicillin Sinus Infections
Amoxicillin Birth Defects
Amoxicillin Pregnancy
Amoxicillin Placenta
Amoxicillin Teratogenic Effects
Amoxicillin Dosing
Amoxicillin Pregnancy Issues
Amoxicillin Pregnancy Complaints

haven’t scared me into my normal hypochondriac mania. Here’s to feeling better in the near future. Cheers!

  1. Jessie

    February 7, 2006 at 9:30 am

    I have a sinus infection too, although I am without weird dreams. I took some alka seltzer cold stuff last night which pretty much knocked me out cold. Hope you feel better soon!

  2. Alicat

    February 7, 2006 at 9:45 am

    woo hoo! wait– you don’t think baby can see your dreams do you?? haha — just kidding. I hope you feel better soon! :o)

  3. lissa

    February 7, 2006 at 11:52 am

    I hope you get better. And what good is the internet if it doesn’t calm your fears at least 10% of the time.

  4. LVGurl

    February 7, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    Blame the sinuses all you want, but crazy porn dreams are part of pregnancy. Get used to ’em…

    My friend Myndi and I used to refer to said dreams as “Sideshow Bob,” because of a dream she once had with, well, Sideshow Bob.

    At least the Donger is a real guy…

  5. jege

    February 7, 2006 at 2:55 pm

    That Uma Thurman is such a tramp.

  6. ms. sizzle

    February 7, 2006 at 3:17 pm

    but uma professed her love! and you left!? you aren’t right in the head. ;)

    but yeah, who wants to get with the donger?

    feel better!

    :) Sizz

  7. Boogie's Mom

    February 7, 2006 at 4:57 pm

    That must feel pretty good to think that someone like Uma Thurman could be in love with you. Nice work! :)

  8. Jurgen Nation

    February 7, 2006 at 2:34 pm

    Oddly, I MAY (OR MAY NOT) get with The Donger. I think it would definitely be a good time, especially if I get him on the exercise bike. Mee-yow!

    Oddly II, my own battle with cranium pressure has taken the dreams away. I think the pressure is restraining that part of my brain, like a too-tight sports bra.

  9. reluctant housewife

    February 7, 2006 at 4:08 pm

    LVGurl is right – porn dreams are totally a part of pregnancy. I won’t share but expect more.

  10. Libragirl

    February 8, 2006 at 4:49 pm

    I have had a sinus infection since November/December
    That was after I got rid of the one in June. I hate them. 4x a year. I guess because of the pregnancy you can’t take horse pills aks Augmentin
    Feel better.

  11. cj4

    February 9, 2006 at 11:47 am

    Ummm, its these kind of posts that make me a wee but uncomfortable about reading my cousin’s blog.