Performance Art 2007 Will Not Be Denied!

Lala just reminded me that her craft is not hindered by something as trivial as sobriety. She’s a performance artist of the highest magnitude, yo. (I am completely over the “yo” phenomenon, but I CAN’T STOP TYPING IT.) It is I, Duchess of Whoorl, who needs a leetle liquid courage from time to time.

And since the liquid courage will be a-flowin’, we just might attempt a video post while in Santa Fe. What this video entails, we do not know. Frankly, I find video blogs to be a bit creepy. I mean, a video. Of me. On the Interwebs! Creeps McGee. (Not to be confused with Crams McGee, which is entirely a different story. Does anyone else use that phrase? Just me? Ok then.)

However, after ingesting several tequila shots, creepy becomes slightly sketchy. Slightly sketchy turns to into no big deal and no big deal morphs into WE ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY! AND TALENTED! PEOPLE WILL LOVE US! WE’RE TAKING THIS ACT ON THE ROAD!

Does the idea of a poorly-made and possibly humiliating video titillate your senses? With hints of my drunken Oklahoma twang? Possibly singing and/or dancing? If I sense enough interest amongst my fellow users of the Interwebs (who else is loving 30 Rock?), we shall move forward with our plan. The caveat is I DECIDE how many comments equal “interest”, and unfortunately, visions of the hundreds of Crayola crayon comments from earlier this year are filling my head. P.S. – That entry was lost in the Great Whoorl Rebirth, but I remember…oh, I remember…

You do realize this is my insurance from actually having to DO this, right? I am not particularly fond of my video persona. (quivering in fear)

Most importantly, do you have any suggestions for our possible ground-breaking piece of history? If we end up utilizing your idea, I will send you a small token of my appreciation (coming from here).

Not to insinuate we are for sure doing this. That’s up to you guys. (OH HOW LAME IS THAT STATEMENT? COMMENT WHORE, COMMENT WHORE!)

  1. BeachMama

    April 24, 2007 at 8:19 am

    Definately. Singing is always fun and liquid courage helps a long way, although your Sister is a trooper for not needing any. So I too vote for karaoke as your performance this year. Don’t let us down ;).

  2. Erin Rae

    April 24, 2007 at 8:52 am

    DO IT!

    I love that your father seems rather encouraging of this whole thing. How about Bishop Stu Tu provides some instrumental backing for you and Lala’s singing video?

    I almost wrote signing video, but hey – you could sign the words to the song at the same time. Nothing says superstar like the ability to sign your own lyrics ;-)

  3. natalie

    April 24, 2007 at 9:47 am

    alright, alright…as a fellow “performance artist” (and lady who’s OK twang comes out with booze as well) might I suggest two songs for your consideration:

    Total Eclipse of the Heart
    Welcome to the Jungle

    I mean come on…can you imagine the joy we would feel after seeing you two belt out the “shanananananakneeeeEEES!kneeeeeeEEEEEES” part?! Oh, I sure can!

    I might be back with more as the songs pop into my wee little brain.

  4. Neil

    April 24, 2007 at 10:00 am

    Can you do a duet with Sanjaya?

  5. Jen-Again

    April 24, 2007 at 10:40 am

    Yes, please! Love to hear your OK accent- it’ll remind me of home.

  6. Amanda

    April 24, 2007 at 12:18 pm

    Hell to the Yes!

    Oh, and 30 Rock, HI-FUCKING-LARIOUS. I find myself randomly quoting Jack Donaghy… “What does she know, she’s a Murphy. Bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists.” I love him. Even though he freaked out at his kid like a looney tune… in real life. Ok, enough from me.

  7. don't call me ma'am

    April 24, 2007 at 11:37 am

    Here are my suggestions:

    1) A video How-To of how to create the most rockin’ margaritas ever… which Nabbs and Darren say YOU make. The catch: you have to drink a shot before each step of the margarita-making. I’m hoping it will result in an I-Love-Lucyish vitameatvegamin episode.

    2) Re-enact your favorite 30 Rock episode. The two of you must play all the characters. Anytime you spout a sarcastic line, YOU must drink a shot.

    I had another one, but I forgot it. Getting old SUCKS.

  8. Keri

    April 24, 2007 at 11:39 am

    Can’t wait to see it! I’m delurking just to see it.

  9. Kiki

    April 24, 2007 at 11:50 am

    YESSSS!! (Pulling my fist down slowly, a la Zach Morris, Saved by the Bell circa 1996)!!! Get that drunken debauchery on video!!

  10. amy

    April 24, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    oh hell yes! i second eran raes suggestion. bishop stu provide instrumental backing to a full on 80’s rock performance video. we can’t wait!

  11. rebecca

    April 24, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    This whole string of comments is hilarious. I think Metalia should win the Whoorlie for Most Helpful Advice On How To Document Performance Art. Is that a category? It should be.

    Unrelated, but also hilarious: “I have hollow bones. Like a bird.”

  12. Amanda

    April 24, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    If you don’t do it, I will cry.

    I’d love to see some something 80s inspired…get out your hair crimpers, pull on a shiny leotard and make a music video. You could do the singing, or just lip synche.

  13. 180/360

    April 24, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    It should definitely include lots of alcohol, singing, dancing and your dad on guitar. (BTW- he seems like a lot of fun!)

    Does D. or The Magnate ever perform? They both seem, shall I say more reserved- so it would be fun to see them get a little crazy, too. :)

  14. Brittany

    April 24, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    Love the idea! My suggestions depend on how wild/crazy/silly you want to be. I’ve got a million of them, so let me know if any of them sound more appealing than others.

    1) Basic Karaoke
    2) Karaoke with a twist. Take a song, make up your own words to it. perform.
    3) Song and Dance
    4) Have you ever listened to the cabbage patch kid CD/tape? There is a song called the bunny bee’s which is just made for a video performance
    5) A skit highlighting “famous” moments from previous get togethers.
    6) Video trivia: Tape funny moments from the weekend. Ask trivia questions, and follow it with video of what really happened.

    That’s all for now. let me know if you want more ideas.

  15. Maya

    April 24, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    Ok, so there are plenty of votes for singing/lip synch and drunken performance art. I’m going to go with a) a post-Whoorlgarita sock puppet rendition of a great play or rock opera (you guys do the voices), or b) a Whoorl family sing-along of something like Oooooooklahoma! – but you have to get the. entire. family to do it.