11

Hostage Crisis

S.O.S.

I’m in Las Vegas attending my company’s annual meeting. I really can’t think of anything more fun or titillating than being pregnant in Sin City.

I am counting the minutes until Friday evening when I can sleep in my own bed.

Until then, Viva Las Vegas.

10

A to Z Meme

Thanks for the idea, Sizzle!

[A is for age:]
31. I am woman, hear me roar.

[B is for booze of choice:]
Dirty vodka martinis, red wine, bloody marys. How can a gal pick just one? But now, it’s all about cranberry juice in a wine glass.

[C is for career:]
I sell drugs. Legally, of course.

[D is for your dog’s name:]
I’ve never had a dog. Weep if you must, but trust me, I’m just peachy without one.

[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
Water. Lip gloss. My Mac. Kiehl’s lip balm. My glasses.

[F is for favorite song(s) at the moment:]
That’s tough. Tenor Man by Greyboy Allstars (I play a mean air drum).

[G is for favorite games:]
Scrabble. Russian Rummy. Solitaire.

[H is for hometown:]
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain.

[I is for instruments you play:]
I played the clarinet as a child. I also bought a flute on eBay and took lessons a couple years back.

[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Strawberry jam or jelly.

[K is for kids:]
One on the way!

[L is for last kiss:]
This morning from my husband with morning breath. Yum.

[M is for most admired trait:]
I’m not sure. I try not to make a habit of asking people that question.

N is for name of your crush:]
My husband. (Oh, ok. AND Clive Owen, Patrick Dempsey, Dave Grohl, Beck and James Spader- specifically from Secretary)

[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
Nada.

[P is for phobias:]
Germs. People coughing in my personal space. Flying without my husband or vice versa. Speaking in front of large groups. ANTS. ANTS. ANTS. They are so scary.

[Q is for quotes you like:]
“People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little.” – Jean Jacques Rousseau

[R is for biggest regret:]
Not studying abroad in Italy during college.

[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Hello dollies or my mom’s carrot cake.

[T is for time you wake up:]
6:30am, but 7:15am this morning.

[U is for underwear:]
Right now, blue and green striped hipsters.

[V is for vegetables you love:]
I love all vegetables, except for eggplant. I’m severely allergic (like crapping and hurling simultaneously kind of allergic).

[W is for worst habit:]
Leaving my shoes all over the house. D can’t stand it.

[X is for x-rays you’ve had:]
Too many to count.

[Y is for yummy food you make:]
Banana Nut Bread. Taco Soup. Curried Couscous. Bourbon Pecan Pie. Coconut Cream Pie. Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookies. Lots of stuff!

[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Textbook Scorpio-E-O-E-O.

25

Sloppy Mornings with Ann

I saw something this morning that made me want to hurl chunks of last night’s tomato basil pasta feast all over the entire house. And for once I can say with 100% confidence that baby whoorlito had no part of this.

Call me crazy, but doesn’t The Today Show have hair and makeup people? They must, considering Katie Couric looks semi-decent most of time. Except for the lip liner. What is up with the lip liner?

Case in Point:

annfront.jpg

Look at that hair! Draped all over her shoulders, all tangled and shit. Is she attempting to form dreadlocks? BRUSH THE HAIR.

Here’s a lovely back view as well.

annback.jpg

I think I actually saw little hair mites crawling around that mess.

ICK.