I had a bizarro dream last night. I blame my raging sinus infection. The pressure in my cranium is so intense, it is forcing neuron synapses in my dream sector, resulting in Rawwwrrr, PPD (Pregnancy Porn Dreams)! Oh, the google searches that will ensue!

Ok, it really wasn’t a porn dream, but it was beyond strange. D and I were at a bar, where we hit it off with Uma Thurman and some short Asian man. So, the four of us decide to go back this huge bustling hotel. Like this kind of behavior was totally normal, or something? CLEARLY, this three-week long battle with my sinuses has turned me into a freaky-dream sicko.

We got back to the hotel room and all hopped in the sack in our skivvies. I noticed Uma was getting all of D’s attention! I yelled “HELLOOOO, I’m over here, assholes!”, which made the short Asian man give me quite the lusting look. Come to think of it, it was Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles. I was very much NOT into the Donger, so I pretended to be asleep. Well, would you want to get with this? Then, all of the sudden, Uma was professing her love to me and I had to bail. I got up to leave the room and noticed around 100 people staring at us through a huge window.

What in the hell?

The good news is that I officially have been put on antibiotics to help fight the infection, and don’t worry, it’s Pregnancy Category B, my doctor said it is perfectly safe and my internet searches consisting of

Amoxicillin
Amoxicillin Sinus Infections
Amoxicillin Birth Defects
Amoxicillin Pregnancy
Amoxicillin Placenta
Amoxicillin Teratogenic Effects
Amoxicillin Dosing
Amoxicillin Pregnancy Issues
Amoxicillin Pregnancy Complaints

haven’t scared me into my normal hypochondriac mania. Here’s to feeling better in the near future. Cheers!