S: I just heard from the Nightline producer. Looks like my segment will run next week.
L: Dude, are you going to watch it?
S: I think I am going to record it and watch it later. You know, so I can pause and bury my head under a pillow every 23 seconds.
L: Good plan.
S: What if the interview is all cut and spliced and I sound like a total idiot?
L: (Deep sigh) Oh, that is totally what happened to Brenda.
S: Brenda? Who is Brenda?
L: (incredulous laughter) Um, BRENDA. Remember when she was interviewed about her friends by some newspaper? And the reporter totally twisted her words and misquoted her? And like, EVERYONE was furious with her? Donna and Kelly WOULDN’T EVEN TALK TO HER.
S: Wait. Are you referring to a Beverly Hills 90210 episode from 15 years ago?
L: Um, YEAH. Don’t you remember?
(Complete silence.)
L: Seriously, HOW COULD YOU NOT REMEMBER?! Whatever. I’m just saying, it could happen.
S: Thanks for the tip.
L: No problem.
In other news, we had an unofficial sisterly Hair Thursday this week. Lala was sick of her long hair and wanted a change, so she went from this:
To this:
Super cute, huh? Donna and Kelly would be BLINDED by jealousy.
Meet Allison and Blake, my very first Hair Thursday: Couple Edition victims. The future of their healthy tresses is entirely in my hands. I’m drunk with power! MWAHAAHHHHAAAAAA.
Oh, don’t worry. I’m a Pepper too, Blake.
Allison’s hair:
Medium brown, natural highlights
Normal to dry
Usually washes every other day or two
Very straight
Preference for long hair. Her hair is her “security blankie”, and will not chop it off.
Addicted to hot rollers
Lots of ponytails
Let’s hear a little bit about Allison’s hair issues.
I have become addicted to my hot rollers. Truth be told, I’m a wannabe curly top. I want wavy hair! Alas, it is stick straight, heck, straighter than most sticks. And the whole curling iron, blow out thing is tough to do daily with our 4 children here. Did I mention I homeschool? THERE IS SUCH LITTLE TIME FOR ME. I end up taking about 3 FULL showers per week, meaning my hair is dry enough that for several days I can spit bathe, and pull my hair up. Braids, pony tails, twists, whatever. There are only so many hours in a day to take care of our 4, eat, bathe, work out, clean house, work on a remodel project, etc.
I’m hella exhausted just reading that, but I think Allison is approaching her hair routine exactly how she should. Honestly, how else could she approach it? She wants long hair, she doesn’t have time to style it every day, she needs low-maintenance options, etc.
Let’s look at a photo of Allison using her hot rollers.
I think her hair looks nice when hot-rolled- very healthy and full of bounce. Don’t you? So, what could we do to add a little spice to that head of hair?
I KNOW!
Well, two things. First, Allison needs to trim the ends and shape up the layers in the front.
Secondly, let’s COLOR it. (Squee!)
Judging by the photos, I think Allison could go a wee bit darker. Think luscious chocolate…in fact, her hair color change could be similar to one of our past participants, Lori.
Remember Lori?
Remember how Lori’s blue eyes just popped once she went a little darker? Well, if you take a look at Allison’s peepers, I do believe they are beautiful and blue and BEGGING to be noticed.
Here are two shades that would look lovely on Allison. It’s important for her not to go too dark, or she will risk looking a little garish. The first shade isn’t too much darker, but has red undertones throughout. Option #2 is about as dark as I would recommend going, but would still look pretty with Allison’s complexion.
Which shade do you prefer for Allison? Either way, her hair will look incredibly shiny and those blue eyes will shimmer.
Let’s not forget Blake!
Blake’s hair:
Very thick and wavy
Large cowlick in the front
Has worn all lengths
Needs a style that won’t hang in his eyes while looking downwards
Uses products (Aveda styling stick)
Blake is a graphic designer and has super hair, but both he and Allison think his current style is a little too Kris Kristofferson 70’s shaggy. (For the record, I am a huge fan of wavy, shaggy hair on boys. This may or may not be related to the fact that I live in a beach town with tan, shaggy-haired surfers everywhere. Yummy. Especially the ones with super dark hair and really white teeth…or the ones with the sun-bleached ends…yeah…definitely…wait, what was I talking about?)
Sorry.
Yes, the options.
Oh, I know what you’re thinking. Patrick Dempsey? HOW OBVIOUS.
Trust me, I spent hours yesterday (literally, HOURS) trying to find two suitable haircuts not involving Patrick Dempsey, but y’all, Blake has Patrick Dempsey hair. (!!!) Thick, wavy, healthy…seriously, how could I NOT.
Taking some length off the top in Option #1 would really enhance Blake’s thick waves. Right now, his hair is too weighed down to get much lift off his face. Plus, we need to get Blake’s cowlick to work with him, not against him. American Crew has some great grooming creams and pomades that would help keep the hair up, up and away. I also like how the sides and back of this haircut are left a little longer, where you can see a little wave here and there.
Option #2 would still leave some length on the top, but would be a much tighter cut around the sides and back. This is when Blake’s Aveda Style Stick would come in handy, just rub some between the palms and go crazy. Blake definitely has the volume to pull this off.
(Is it wrong that I can’t make a statement like that without conjuring up a mental image of Chris Harrison? Stay tuned for Whoorl’s Greatest, Most Romantic Mother’s Day Yet! Don’t go anywhere! You do not want to miss The Most Dramatic Holiday Of The Year!)
(Is it even worse that I am STILL watching The Bachelor? Who’s it going to be? Shayne? The other chick? WHO?)
Now, technically (if pregnancy counts), I’ve only had two of these holidays under my belt, so I don’t have a lot to go by. BUT, c’mon people. Wito walked into the kitchen holding a homemade card, actually handed it to me and exclaimed, “Happy Birthday, Mommy!” (A+ for effort.)
You have to admit, CUTE. Precious, even! The Most Precious Mother’s Day Yet!
What an incredibly crazy week. As I mentioned, Nightline was at my home most of the afternoon on Monday, which was nerve-wracking and surreal in itself. Add in a toddler with a 103 degree fever and no babysitter, and watch Whoorl spontaneously combust!
When working out the details, I planned to film the segment over Wito’s naptime, with Brenda and Bug on call just in case he woke up. Obviously, as Monday morning approached, that plan went to the dogs, since I didn’t want to expose Bug to Wito’s mystery high fever from hell with no symptoms except half-mast eyelids and noodle limbs. So, I figured I would just have to make it work and pray he didn’t wake up. (These are the times when I am SO NOT COOL with the fact that I live thousands of miles away from my family.)
The producers were amazing, patient and so accommodating. Even mid-sentence during the interview, when high-pitched wails from the back of the house suddenly permeated the entire area. Um, about that nap. The producers kindly stopped filming, I ran to the back, tried my best to sooth, ran back to the living room, adjusted my hair and lip gloss (NARS Foul Play, if you must know. The Most Perfect Nude Gloss Yet!) and tried remember what in the hell I was blathering about. Lather, rinse, repeat.
After ten minutes of back and forth, I accepted defeat, called D from the back room, forcibly mumbling, “For the love of sweet jebus get your ass home I can’t do this on my own ABC is in my living room holy hell I’m going to die right here and OMG HELP WITO IS DELUSIONAL.” Luckily, he was home within ten minutes, and all was well. (I will let you all know the airdate as soon as I find out.)
So, this has been an increasingly long-winded way of telling you that Wito has been a sick kid all week with Roseola.
Roseola: The Mysterious Asshat Virus.
What is Roseola? Well, it’s a virus that causes a high fever for four days with absolutely no symptoms (besides the feverish hell), until the fifth day when an awesome red rash breaks out all over your child’s body. (Oh, and no matter what your doctor says, it DOES ITCH.) The good news is that once you get it, you’ll never deal with it again. The bad news is that your little one looks like this:
Wito: Homo Sapiens Palmes Larges
However, as Mother’s Day weekend commenced, the clouds parted, the angels sang, the rash disappeared, and Voilá! Happy, healthy boy!
See me in fever-free motion! p.s. – Get the hell out of my way.
Oh! How could I forget The Most Romantic Mother’s Day Gift Yet? Now, D and I normally don’t spend much on gifts, but he surprised me with the PERFECT necklace.
The Most Beautiful Necklace Yet!
(I took it too far, didn’t I? I’m stopping.)
I finished the day with a couple Sierra Nevada Pale Ales, Kung Pao chicken and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. All in all, a great day.
How was your Mother’s Day? Good food? Great gifts? Do tell!
