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Not Worth Noting, But Humor Me

1. This morning I ran 1.56 miles without stopping to walk. I have never in my life run 1.56 miles without stopping. I need to share this with you because, well, who else am I going to share it with, my mom? Here’s a little preview of that conversation.

Whoorl: Mom! I’m halfway to my goal of running 3 miles! I ran a mile and a half this morning with the jogging stroller!

Mom: That’s good! (click, click, click, click)

Whoorl: My new shoes are really helping out. My ankle feels much better.

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click, click)

Whoorl: Although, yesterday it was giving me trouble…

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click)

Whoorl: Um, I broke my back yesterday.

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, clickety click click)

Whoorl: And sold Wito into slavery.

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click, click)

Whoorl: GODDAMN IT MOM, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?! ARE YOU PLAYING ONLINE CANASTA AGAIN?!

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click, click)

2. I’m pretty sure when you put glasses in the dishwasher, they are not supposed to come out looking like this:

glass.jpg

How about a side-by-side comparison?

2glasses.jpg

Something’s wrong with my dishwasher, yes?

3. I apologize to all the Anya lovers out there, but I couldn’t be more thrilled about her departure from last night’s So You Think You Can Dance episode. It’s just that, I don’t know, the outfits and the ballroom thing and dear Lord, the OUTFITS. The leopard-print and electric blue fringe and booby tassels!

Plus, when she “dances for her life”, I feel like she is just shaking her ass and moving across the stage with teensy-weensy staccato steps. I am aware she is at a disadvantage by not having a partner to dance with in her dance-offs, and I KNOW that I am completely clueless about ballroom and need to SHUT UP, but man! With everyone else performing giant leaps and pirouettes across the stage, it’s hard to be impressed by ballroom during the solos.

To make my point with D last night, I threw on some heels with my running shorts and performed my own Anya-type “Big Wheels Keep On Turning, Proud Mary Keeps On Burning” dance. I paused and re-played her performance and everything. I thought I did a fine job, but D didn’t seem to be very impressed. He just looked up at me and said, “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Point well taken.

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39 comments
  1. amy

    July 20, 2007 at 9:07 am

    impressive you jog with the stroller. you could add on about another 2 miles probably if you weren’t pushing that sucker.
    my dishwasher does the same thing. its bogus. i started handwashing which=bull shit.

    I hate when I hit this one stretch of uphill with that damn stroller. Seriously, you should see my lobster face after that one.

  2. Rhi

    July 20, 2007 at 9:09 am

    I think you need Jetdry. It seems to work for me.

    How very Becky Home-Ecky of me to know that!

    I’m on it. :)

  3. Pam

    July 20, 2007 at 9:20 am

    Congratulations on the running milestone! I am supposed to start week two this weekend. Thanks for posting the info about Couch to 5K, I am really enjoying it so far (and I have never been a runner in my life).

    And I second the JetDry suggestion.

    Thanks! I love to hear about others doing the program. I swear, it gets better every week. I never think, “Oh man, I have to run.” I really enjoy it!

  4. Mediocre Housewife

    July 20, 2007 at 9:28 am

    Congrats on the milestone! Last year, I was into running and even ran a 5k race. Yay me! This year, though, I’m not sure I could *walk* a 5k race. Must get on that…

  5. Jen

    July 20, 2007 at 8:59 am

    So glad Anya got the boot. But I have to say, I am continually impressed by her original partner Pasha. Is it weird to have a crush on him? God, I loved it when he had to dance with that, ahem, Rubenesque redhead earlier in the season. And he didn’t even miss a beat with all those lifts. Which means, he could totally lift my Rubenesque body, too.

    OK, fantasy over …

    I love Pasha, too! And I usually gag at the male ballroom dancers.

  6. Rattling The Kettle

    July 20, 2007 at 9:00 am

    You need some Jet-Dry.

    I will buy some today- we have a “rinse-aid” that we use, but it obviously doesn’t seem to be working. We’ve also tried vinegar and baking soda, which helps for the next couple of cycles, but then back to the residue.

  7. LVGurl

    July 20, 2007 at 9:03 am

    I have those conversations with my mom ALL THE TIME. But there are times when she’s barely half-listening and she replies in cliche, which is way more irritating than if she were to just ignore me and say nothing.

    LV: I’m getting more gray hairs. I think I have about 50 now.
    Mom: Ah yes. Old age. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.
    LV: WHAT?

    LV: Makenna just dragged Paige down the hall by her foot.
    Mom: That’s the way to cookie crumbles.
    LV: WHAT? That has nothing to do with anything I just said! You’re not even listening!
    Mom: I most certainly am!
    LV: Then repeat what I just said!
    Mom: Makenna, uh, Paige, uh… okay, sorry! I’m reading my email! So, what was that again…?

    BWAHAHAAAA! I have to say, in her defense, she is AWESOME, always there for me, etc. I probably wouldn’t want to listen to my rambling either. (HI MOM! KISS KISS!)

  8. Jackie

    July 20, 2007 at 9:07 am

    Congrats on the running milestone! I’m a runner myself and after completing that first mile without stopping feels amazing. I remember feelings of complete dread and doom when the PE teacher use to announce that we were running the mile that day. Might as well put me in front of a firing squad.

    So when do you sign up for your fist 5K? The Huntington Surf and Sand 5K is coming up at the end of September!

    Hey! Maybe I should do it!! According to the C25K program, I should be running 5K in three more weeks. That timing would be perfect. I’m going to look into it – thanks for the heads up, Jackie!

  9. Jennie

    July 20, 2007 at 9:07 am

    I’m super impressed by your 1.56 miles of running! And I love that you didn’t just say a mile and a half, because the .06 makes a big difference! It really does!

    I ran for 16 minutes once in college with a girl that ran cross-country. I kept telling her I didn’t feel well but she insisted that we keep going. I should have listened to my body, because at the 16-minute mark, I threw up in the bushes. On a college campus. From running, not drinking. Just a tad embarrassing.

    Thanks!! And I have to admit, that last .06 almost made me throw up myself. :)

  10. Beth

    July 20, 2007 at 9:10 am

    Maybe you need a water softener.

    As for the running, dear God, woman, that’s awesome! I don’t think I could run to the end of my block without doubling over and praying for death.

    I was thinking of that…I totally don’t want to deal with this crap. But I also don’t want to hand wash dishes for the rest of my life, either.;)

  11. andrea

    July 20, 2007 at 9:11 am

    Way to go! 1.56 miles is quite an accomplishment. For the record I bought my running clothes yesterday and was all excited to begin the program today, but alas it is pouring down rain. I need to start this under perfect circumstances if I have any hopes of following through, rain in week 3 or 4 might be okay, but not so much on day one.

    Our dishwasher is horrible. From the mid 60’s, has to be rolled to the sink and hooked up to run. We get some awfully funky residue from time to time, I often find myself re-washing dishes after they’ve come out of the dishwasher. Such a pain.

    Yes, you have to pump yourself up for the first week. Seriously, it is so important! Now, it’s become more of a mental challenge for me – I can’t wait to get out and run. I love it!

  12. hello insomnia

    July 20, 2007 at 9:23 am

    I can barely move 1.56 yards, so kudos on your achievement! And that conversation totally sounds familiar to me, only my mom is focusing on what the cast of Golden Girls is saying as opposed to the conservation with her youngest daughter.

    BWAHAAAAAA. I love the Golden Girls.

  13. Amy Beth

    July 20, 2007 at 9:29 am

    Way to go on the run!

    I have those conversations with my husband all the time except he’s on ebay.

    We have those same glasses! And apparently the same dishwasher because that’s how ours come out too. It’s true that a little jetdry helps.

  14. metalia

    July 20, 2007 at 9:49 am

    I concur with the other comments recommending that you get Jet Dry; it works wonders. Now for the important point: Do you know that I am HUGE fan of Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary” dance? And that totally unbidden, I perform the whole song and dance in my living room constantly? And try, to no avail, to get J to play the role of Ike in the routine? Now, I’m not challenging you to a “Proud Mary” dance-off, per se, but if the opportunity presented itself next week, let’s just say that I would be prepared.

  15. Lacey

    July 20, 2007 at 10:32 am

    Yes, I was happy that Anya was voted off, although briefly I thought she was maybe the prettiest thing I had ever seen on Wednesday night when she was wearing the floaty dress and had the long wavy hair. And then there was a curl ‘fro and tassles last night and she meant nothing to me again.

    But Hok! Hok, my own true love! I cried myself to sleep because all I could think of was the hummingbird dance and how I will never ever ever see his beautiful Japanese/British/other face again.