Wito started first grade today. Well, he started his true first day of 1st grade in July, but with our impending move, we changed school districts, and now he’s starting his SECOND first day of 1st grade today at the new school. Crikey. As you can imagine, mama didn’t get much sleep last night. That’s the great thing about moms, though – we worry enough so our kids don’t have to.
I don’t think I’ve written about it before, but Wito has never been called his given name. We bestowed a completely random nickname to him while pregnant (not Wito, thank goodness), and although we never expected it, the nickname just stuck. Soon after his birth, we started receiving items monogrammed with the nickname, and we quickly realized it would be around for awhile, even though the nickname itself is not a derivative of Anders nor has any similarities. Fast forward 6 years, and the child has never been called his given name by family members, friends, or teachers. In fact, I don’t think he was aware of his given name until last year.
I have to be honest. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I obviously named him Anders for a reason. I love that name, and it makes me a little bummed to know that it might never be used. So when we found out about the house and knew we would be attending a completely new school district, I brought up the discussion of starting new with his given name. It was the perfect time, really…I mean, he didn’t know anyone at the school and it could be the perfect fresh start, right? Wrong.
As you can imagine, it’s not that easy. My child has been known solely by his nickname his entire life. What kind of mom would I be to pluck my child out of the school with all of his friends and comforts, place him in a new school with complete strangers, AND expect him to change his name? Witness Protection Program, anyone? It’s complicated, peeps.
Wito and I have had discussions about this situation over the past month, and bottom line, he prefers to be called his nickname. I don’t blame him…it’s his identity. It’s him. He will always be able to change it as he matures down the road, as the nickname does have a childish quality, but that should be up to him.
So when his lovely teacher approached this morning to introduce herself to the boy she assumed was “Anders” from the roster, I let her know that he prefers to be called his nickname. And like I always do, I grabbed his slip and put those two increasingly familiar quotation marks next to his name.
What do you think about nicknames? Do you use one for yourself or your children? Do you have any regrets? I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Rita
September 4, 2012 at 8:02 pmI have a brother with a nice, respectable name (Rodney), but he was known as “Bubba” all through school. It even says “Bubba” on his diploma.
Bubba. I swear to you. BUBBA. whyyyyyy?
When he finally graduated and got a real job he started going by his real name. THANK GOODNESS.
Sara
September 4, 2012 at 9:53 pmHahaha, I was going to comment that my fiance’s nephew, his name is Ahmed, but we all call him Bubba. I don’t know which name he goes by in school etc though. He’s only 9 or maybe 10 now
Abbie
September 4, 2012 at 8:11 pmMy sister has gone by her nickname (Dewey) rather than her given name (Virginia) since she was a couple of months old. Our parents always gave her the choice to switch back to Virginia whenever she started at a new school, and she always insisted that she was Dewey. Now that she’s a grownup, I don’t think anyone (especially Dewey!) can picture her as anything else- even her college diploma was issued to Virginia Dewey.
Sara
September 4, 2012 at 9:57 pmI mentioned Bubba earlier in a response to someone else. I know a couple of people that used their middle name instead and eventually went both ways. And another friend grew up being known as Allie, but ever since she went to college, more people are knowing her as Allison. Maybe your Wito will decide to change it up later, or maybe he will stick with his nickname. Whatever you guys call him, it sounds like it’s his identity. =)
Another friend, a Hassan, when he started college as well, started introducing himself as Matt. He said the reason he did this was because people could never remember him as Hassan. Other friends believed that it was to prevent racism. I will never know, but I will always know him as Hassan.
Kate
September 5, 2012 at 6:06 amI was named Kathryn with the express purpose of being called Kate. And while this is a traditional nickname for Kathryn, I’ve always resented it just a little bit, the years of having to explain to teachers that I went by Kate. For about two weeks when I was twelve, I decided I had had enough and was going to go by Kathryn from now on…and no one ever remembered, so I gave up. In college I decided it wasn’t worth correcting the professors, who would never remember my nickname out of 400 other students, but friends and family have always, and will always call me Kate.
I’m pregnant with my first child right now, and he/she will be getting a name that does not have a traditional nickname option.
Heather B.
September 5, 2012 at 7:09 am1) Maybe I’m surrounded by very uncreative people but the only nickname ever bestowed upon me is “HB”. H freaking B. So, I must say that I’m envious of Anders.
2) I have an Aunt Sally. Up until I was about 16 I thought that was her given name which I found cool. I found out later that her name is Ardith Marie but no clue as to why she’s called Sally. I have another Aunt Sam whose name is Edith Marie and…yeah, not sure where that came from.
3) I feel honored that I know his nickname. And it suits him. And, if he were to ever run for office, his given name is very Presidential but his nickname makes him seem like the guy you want to have a beer with.
Rhi
September 5, 2012 at 7:12 amWhen Henry was born, TWO PEOPLE (both close family members) said, “Well, as long as you don’t call him Hank!” when we told them his name. As it turns out, Hank just doesn’t seem to fit him right now, but what if we really had wanted to call him that?
Anyway, I like nicknames so long as the person with the nickname is okay with it. I think it’s super cute that he’s so fond of his nickname.
Courtney
September 5, 2012 at 9:55 amInteresting post. Would love to know what the nickname is–but understand your need to keep it private. I think it’s wonderful that he gets to keep his nickname. I think it’s nice he has the option to use his given name if desired when he’s older. You say you used this nickname when you were pregnant. Wondering why it didn’t make the official cut to be a given name–because you say it’s a little childish? Your family is adorably, BTW.
Michelle Baxter
September 5, 2012 at 10:07 amWe have Katherine, Ann, and Caroline…”Katie” and “Annie”, no nickname for Caroline – I do call her “Bunny” bacause she has a little stuffed bunny she sleeps with every night, but no one else calls her that. Anders and Malou are the most unique and beautiful names…I just love them! The Bishop Stu Tu and Candy Man nicknames for your Dad are hilarious…
PS – When will there be a new installment of your Dad as The Candy Man? I have a really funny idea for you…Can I email it to you?
Mb
September 5, 2012 at 10:47 amLove the name Anders- makes me think of Ders on workaholics. I fell in love with a guy in college- Duke- it just seemed so cool to have a boyfriend named Duke- I kind of fell out of “love” with him when I found out he was really just Richard who did not want to be nicknamed Dick. My husband is Robert- I weed out telemarketers when they ask for Robert- anyone who knows him calls him Shad- go figure…
elz
September 5, 2012 at 1:54 pmWe named our second daughter based solely on the nickname, rather than her full name. She’s been called by her nickname (a derivative of the full name) since birth. She is called by her full name when she is being naughty! She’s 6 and recently said she wanted to be called by her full name now-that lasted a day!
Carrisa
September 5, 2012 at 3:56 pmSo what about Wita? Was she given a nickname too? Growing up I always hated my name. So I chose to shorten it to Carrie. Then at age 21 I went back to Carrisa because there was another Carrie at work. Now I can’t stand to be called Carrie. I love my name, except for the part where no one ever spells it right.
My cousin recently adopted a daughter and named her Amora Leona and they call her Morley as a nickname. I think it’s pretty cute. I’m all for nicknames. What I don’t care for are Jr/Sr scenarios. Too confusing and they can wreak havoc on your credit report.
Lorrie Tharp
September 6, 2012 at 6:41 amI have a friend who is know to everyone as Bumper. Her name is Elizabeth. When her mother was pregnant, they called her the “Bump” not knowing what she was. It stuck. She is in her mid-30’s. I think she might use Elizabeth professionally now, but to everyone who knows her, she is and always will be Bumper.
amy beth
September 6, 2012 at 8:45 amOur son is James and we swore up and down that he would always be called James-not Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo etc. During my pregnancy and when he was an infant I referred to him as my Baybo (Long A Long O..short for baby Boy–I was hormonal and crazy whatever)and now he’s almost 7 and everyone calls him Baybo. He even comes home from school with Baybo on some of his papers.
sizzle
September 6, 2012 at 9:28 amI was always called a shortened version of my first name. In fact, you can tell who knew me before I turned 21 and moved away and made everyone call me by my full first name. I think nicknames are good, especially if they suit the kid. You never know- Anders might just claim his name when he’s older. My fiance has always been called by his middle name and had a hard time getting people to get that when he was in school since teachers would read off the roster and call him James.
Rene
September 6, 2012 at 1:44 pmWhen my daughter, Kristina, went to daycare as a child, the caregiver played a rhyming game with the kid’s names and Kristina became Kristina Beena. We thought it was cute and called her Beena at home, then for some reason shortened it to Bean. She’s been Bean for 19 years now. Bean just left for college this weekend! Wah!
Our other daughter wasn’t as lucky. Nothing rhymes with Alexa.
My name is Renata which was super annoying in school and a friend started calling me Rene. I’ve been Rene now since grade school, it’s even on most of my ID. Weird!