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Nice To Meet You, I’m Your Wife

My husband has morphed into a new person when it comes to eating.

Have I told you that D is a vegetarian? Going on 13 years now…no meat, pork or chicken. It’s pretty impressive, considering he grew up in a major red-meat-eating state. I’m not a vegetarian, but I probably eat less meat than most due to the fact that we eat the same dinner almost every night.

I have to admit, when the weather gets a little cooler, I secretly wish I could make yummy pot roast and all things crock pot. We have one, but it has been gathering dust since we received it as a gift two years ago.

My wish may come true very soon.

One night while in Cabo, my family decided to cook steaks out by the pool. I, of course, wasn’t part of this lovely dinner. No, I was stuck inside while E. Coli bacteria shot out of my ass and mouth simultaneously. Good times.

When Dustin checked on me in my personal temple of doom, he told me he was thinking about trying some steak. “EXCUSE ME? Did I hear you right or has the dehydration caused me to hallucinate? You want to eat STEAK? The bloody carcass of a cow? That gave you such digestive problems? Huh?”

He told me yes and disappeared into the mexican night. Of course, I had nothing better to do than over-analyze this sudden change of behavior while sitting on the pot.

Possible causes:
1) He is now a father, and fathers eat beef ’cause they’re manly men.
2) Since his wife was spewing all day, he figured he could make himself ill and spend some quality time together in the john.
3) He was feeling left out considering my family LOVES the beefs.
4) This is the start of early-onset dementia.

I don’t know what it was, but he came into the room after dinner, plopped on the bed and described in vivid detail how amazing his palm-sized steak (PALM-SIZED! NOT JUST ONE BITE! LIKE 6 OR 7 BITES!) was.

And no gastric distress was involved. I was forced to cry in the temple of doom all by myself.

Last night, we ordered pizza and a salad from CPK. I did my normal ordering, pepperoni for me, cheese for him, salad with the bacon on the side, blahblahblah. As I sat on the couch eating my salad, D sauntered in with a handful of bacon- just munching away. And then, for the kicker, he ate a piece of pepperoni pizza.

Let’s tally this up- steak, bacon AND pepperoni in less than two weeks. And we’re planning on a Rachael Ray Bacon Wrapped Tenderloin soon.

Anybody got any non-vegetarian crock pot recipes?

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30 Comments
  • kris

    November 21, 2006 at 11:26 am

    OMG I have a whole book of ’em. Not vegetarian men, but crock pot recipes. Name your poison and I’ll email it to you.

  • Beth

    November 21, 2006 at 11:49 am

    Check out “Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker Cookbook” by Beth Hensperger. There are recipes for cake inside! And bread pudding! And rice pudding! And, oh, yeah, like *real* food, too.

  • Another Beth

    November 21, 2006 at 11:54 am

    I get a ton of recipes off http://www.allrecipes.com. They are user rated so it’s easy to find good ones. good luck!

  • Audrey

    November 21, 2006 at 11:56 am

    Check out the Cooking Light Crock Pot book — lots of tasty stuff including your basics (like the stroganoff simmering away in mine today) to the not-so-basic. Yum, yum, YUM!!

  • Angella

    November 21, 2006 at 12:11 pm

    You are HILARIOUS! Matthew had the same simultaneous spewing on our honeymoon. Good times, good times.

    Allrecipes is a great site, and I’ve got some on our recipe site

    http://recipefordisaster.blogspot.com/

    :)

  • Jessie

    November 21, 2006 at 12:23 pm

    Ahh…I remember my first post-vegetarianism steak. It was wonderful. It made me wonder why I had ever decided to not eat it in the first place. I can still barely tolerate (but have to because my husband insists on eating them) chicken, turkey, or pork chops (ham/pepperoni/sausage is ok), but red meat? Oh, yeah babe. Bring. It. On.

  • Donovan

    November 21, 2006 at 12:41 pm

    That’s good news to hear. It’s not often we get someone coming back to our side, the meat-eating side that is. I’ve personally seen many a friend lost to the vegetarians over the years, most notably a best friend of mine from high school who used to swear that vegetarian was just another word for crazy. He’s dead to me now.
    But I digress, welcome back D, it’s good to see you. Now go out and buy yourself a BBQ, or if you don’t have the space for a BBQ, at least a good grilling pan or a George Foreman grill, something.
    And enjoy your steaks, enjoy your bacon and pepperoni. Your life begins again, today.

    Hmmm, I wonder how long til I get blocked from the comments section…

  • Jamie

    November 21, 2006 at 12:43 pm

    This recipe for chili came from the internet at large, and to date, 15 people have asked me for it. It’s unbelievably easy, and works with other sources of protein – turkey, tofu, shredded chicken, you name it.

    Slow Cooker Taco Chili

    Enjoy!

  • Jamie

    November 21, 2006 at 12:43 pm

    oh my Lord, the damn link didn’t carry. sorry.

    http://southernfood.about.com/od/crockpotchili/r/bl84c7.htm

  • nabbalicious

    November 21, 2006 at 12:44 pm

    Oh, being a carnivore is the best fun!

    Now, you must take him to Chipotle and show him how wonderful a burrito with meat in it can be.

  • Emily

    November 21, 2006 at 12:50 pm

    The man finally came to his senses! There is nothing in the world like munching away on a handful of bacon. NOTHING.

    This is the problem with weaning down with the breastfeeding – there is no way I’ll be burning as many calories so handfuls of bacon and brownies for breakfast are SO TOTALLY OUT FOR ME from now on.

    SUCK.

  • BeachMama

    November 21, 2006 at 1:43 pm

    You just made my mouth water by describing that delicious fist full of steak. Now I want steak instead of chicken. Congrats to you, hopefully this is a change he will continue with and not a momentary lapse. And if he doesn’t mind you cooking meat anymore in the house, if he switches back you can keep on using the crock pot!

    (p.s. that southern living link is great!)

  • Jora

    November 21, 2006 at 3:10 pm

    Take him to in-n-out and he’ll be a convert forever.

  • ms. sizzle

    November 21, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    bacon switched me over from veggie to non-veggie. it has magical powers!

    break out the crock pot, it’s time to cook some meat.

  • am'ti b

    November 21, 2006 at 4:00 pm

    yummy-now over xmas we can chow down on some chew and taco bueno.