I have recently diagnosed myself with IADD. Internet Attention Deficit Disorder. The internet has turned my brain into a huge cataclysm of MORE INFORMATION NEED MORE INFORMATION NOW NOW NOW. I can’t just watch television. I can’t just listen to music. I can’t do anything for more than thirty minutes without compulsively lifting my laptop screen to check my email or write a Hair Thursday post or google the nearest self-serve yogurt place or visit my favorite blogs or search YouTube for videos of how to poach an egg or map out my next jogging route or buy cute shoes at Piperlime or check Twitter. What would happen if I suddenly lost all access to the internet? I WOULD SURELY CEASE TO EXIST, YO.
I can barely get through a television program anymore. The only ones that completely capture my attention are Mad Men, So You Think You Dance, Top Chef and Project Runway. All the rest are just so booooring with the talk talk talk and the fast-forwarding of the commercials and OH MY GOD I COULD TOTALLY LOOK UP THE 7-DAY WEATHER FORECAST FOR BOLIVIA RIGHT NOW.
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What was I saying again?
Oh yeah, IADD. Thank the lord I have a child that can’t stand being inside during the day. If Wito didn’t keep me on my toes with playdates, errands and Gymboree classes, I swear I would be locked in a dark room subsisting on Trader Joe’s Pita Crisps and the glow of my laptop.
So! I’m trying to cut back my computer usage during the evenings while I’m doing…you know…things that you do when you are not using the computer. Like watching television programs? Is that what the people are doing these days?
Since I now have the attention span of a gnat, I’ve created my own fun game called Create Odd Facial Expressions By Pausing The Television In Order To Keep From Absolute IADD-Induced Boredom. (No, I am not kidding. I joyfully entertain myself with this game on a regular basis.) However, this isn’t a game for novices, people. You have to possess a lightning-fast reaction time. Your neurons need to be FIRING. No dilly-dallying.
Last night, I outdid myself. Look at this facial expression.
Cat Deeley, you have never looked so good. MWAHAAAAAAAAA.
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What was I saying again?
sharrison
August 7, 2009 at 11:14 amYou are not alone in this struggle, my friend. Not alone.
.-= sharrison´s last blog ..Under Pressure =-.
Lindsey
August 7, 2009 at 1:32 pmI am with Haley–I can’t even watch a whole SYTYCD anymore. Also, i compulsively hit my send/receive/check for new mail button. I agree with the others: we need a support group. and, maybe a ribbon. every good group has a ribbon.
.-= Lindsey´s last blog ..Splurge: Burberry =-.
Amy
August 7, 2009 at 5:21 pmOMG. THIS IS SO ME. to a T. i have to have the trust mac at my fingertips at all times. its a sickness for sure.
kate
August 8, 2009 at 5:56 pmHa! I do this exact same thing when pausing a movie; now I’ve got my 8yo daughter doing it. If the face you stop on isn’t sufficiently dorky enough, you have to try again. It’s oddly satisfying, isn’t it?
tamstyles
August 9, 2009 at 12:31 amHi..I am in Dallas as well. Glad to see that I am not lone. Love your blog!
gorillabuns
August 10, 2009 at 7:15 amwhen i was locked out of twitter for a week, i realized no one really needs to hear or care about what i have to say. i was going to forget about it. Then, i started panicking and had to open another one just out of pure obsession.
.-= gorillabuns´s last blog ..it’s technotronic =-.
suz
August 10, 2009 at 9:01 amuh, yeah. i actually get annoyed, seriously annoyed, with political blogs because what’s with having the same stories on your front page for more than 10 minutes? that’s the same story i already read, i want the update!
and don’t get me started on twitter and facebook. if my agency hadn’t cut off our access to them at the office, i’d NEVER get anything done. literally. never.
.-= suz´s last blog ..JillianMania =-.
kim s.
August 10, 2009 at 3:52 pmI am cracking up at the picture of Cat for many reasons. My daughter and her friend, who were 9 at the time, paused SYTYCD last summer. It was the exact same pic of Cat with her tongue out!! They laughed the entire night and had to keep replaying it 100 times in a row. Their standing joke to this day, one year later, is to look at each other, stick out their tongue and say “Cat”!!
petitegourmand
September 1, 2009 at 5:03 amI know, hoIy short attention span.
I have my finger on the fast forward button the entire time I watch a show- to the point where eventually I have an indentation and cramp in my hand.
sad really.
But I am so doing this next time I watch t.v.
I’m sure to get a few doozies when pausing on Mary Murphy’s mug.
Have you seen Nurse Jackie on HBO yet?
my new fav. show- no fast forwarding necessary.