My New Disorder

I have recently diagnosed myself with IADD. Internet Attention Deficit Disorder. The internet has turned my brain into a huge cataclysm of MORE INFORMATION NEED MORE INFORMATION NOW NOW NOW. I can’t just watch television. I can’t just listen to music. I can’t do anything for more than thirty minutes without compulsively lifting my laptop screen to check my email or write a Hair Thursday post or google the nearest self-serve yogurt place or visit my favorite blogs or search YouTube for videos of how to poach an egg or map out my next jogging route or buy cute shoes at Piperlime or check Twitter. What would happen if I suddenly lost all access to the internet? I WOULD SURELY CEASE TO EXIST, YO.

I can barely get through a television program anymore. The only ones that completely capture my attention are Mad Men, So You Think You Dance, Top Chef and Project Runway. All the rest are just so booooring with the talk talk talk and the fast-forwarding of the commercials and OH MY GOD I COULD TOTALLY LOOK UP THE 7-DAY WEATHER FORECAST FOR BOLIVIA RIGHT NOW.


What was I saying again?

Oh yeah, IADD. Thank the lord I have a child that can’t stand being inside during the day. If Wito didn’t keep me on my toes with playdates, errands and Gymboree classes, I swear I would be locked in a dark room subsisting on Trader Joe’s Pita Crisps and the glow of my laptop.

So! I’m trying to cut back my computer usage during the evenings while I’m doing…you know…things that you do when you are not using the computer. Like watching television programs? Is that what the people are doing these days?

Since I now have the attention span of a gnat, I’ve created my own fun game called Create Odd Facial Expressions By Pausing The Television In Order To Keep From Absolute IADD-Induced Boredom. (No, I am not kidding. I joyfully entertain myself with this game on a regular basis.) However, this isn’t a game for novices, people. You have to possess a lightning-fast reaction time. Your neurons need to be FIRING. No dilly-dallying.

Last night, I outdid myself. Look at this facial expression.


Cat Deeley, you have never looked so good. MWAHAAAAAAAAA.


What was I saying again?

  1. a madhouse wife

    August 6, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    I totally have this too. The trick is to get a computer that takes freakin’ FOREVER to do anything and then freezes when it starts to actually do something. That’s a bit of a deterrent.

  2. Kristin

    August 6, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    I believe that IADD will be accompanied by carpal tunnel syndrome, acute muscle spams in the neck and scroll-induced vertigo.
    I am also afflicted with the IADD… just looking for a cure now…

  3. Alice Q. Foodie

    August 6, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    Indeed – I cannot pass my chair without planting my butt in it. Its so bad, I’ve actually started hiding my computer from myself by leaving it in the car, or when I go to work, leaving it at home! (our office blocks all the social and blog sites)
    .-= Alice Q. Foodie´s last blog .."We Like it Wild" on Design Sponge =-.

  4. Jennifer R

    August 6, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    I sooooo have this
    It has only been made worse since I have been out on maternity leave. I will be out for three weeks already tomorrow. And still no baby! So I have been online all the time, bored out of my mind.
    Thanks for keeping me entertained while I sit here and wait on this baby….

  5. Sue @ My Party of 6

    August 6, 2009 at 7:03 pm

    If you start a 12-step group, I might be interested. If you start a Flickr group, I am TOTALLY in!
    .-= Sue @ My Party of 6´s last blog ..the end of dread =-.

  6. courtneyjo

    August 6, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    I know this probably isn’t helping, but if you can’t get enough SYTYCD (who can?!) I recapped the finale on my site…
    ….because apparently I’m an IADD sufferer as well. But I firmly belive Cat Deely has healing powers. Or at least really great hair.
    .-= courtneyjo´s last blog ..And the envelope please…. =-.

  7. Mama in the City

    August 6, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    I think that I need a therapy for IADD or else I need to become better at multi tasking. Good post.
    .-= Mama in the City´s last blog ..The Sweetest Thing: My Boy Benjamin =-.

  8. Marissa

    August 6, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    I know exactly what you mean!!
    .-= Marissa´s last blog ..This is life. =-.

  9. amanda

    August 7, 2009 at 3:03 am

    I wrote literally almost the exact same post three days ago. There must be something in the air…I empathize a zillion times with everything you’ve said.


  10. sarah

    August 7, 2009 at 5:31 am

    i am definitely laptop addicted, glad to know i am not the only one
    .-= sarah´s last blog ..9 years =-.

  11. Laura in LA

    August 7, 2009 at 7:53 am

    I will admit, I felt a little bit of withdrawal pain when twitter was down. I have come to realize that I now NEED to be entertained by other people…..hmmm, much like a child….oh crap

  12. sunny

    August 7, 2009 at 8:25 am

    after I comment on this I’m off to watch ‘how to poach an egg…’ ADDICTION IS UGLY :)

  13. Kristabella

    August 7, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Seriously, I blame my iPhone for a lot of this. Like I don’t even have to open the laptop anymore when I want to see what the weather forecast is or where the closest Taco Bell is.

    The loss of Twitter for the day yesterday kind of showed me that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I spend too much time on the internet.
    .-= Kristabella´s last blog ..Confessions Of A Reality Show Junkie =-.

  14. Haley

    August 7, 2009 at 10:23 am

    Wow, I am amazed that you can watch SYTYCD all the way through. I love the show, but 2 hours or chatter and nonstop commercials are too much for me. I get through an entire episode in about 30 minutes with my DVR. :)

  15. Caryn

    August 7, 2009 at 10:45 am

    Flipping hilarious facial expression. I will have to try this. I, too, suffer from IADD.