March Madness

**DISCLAIMER – If you aren’t interested in the upcoming college basketball slice of heaven, or sports in general, please move along. Also, you SUCK and should get your ass kicked.**

**DISCLAIMER #2 – I might be experiencing extremely elevated pregnancy hormones at the moment.**

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you already know I love sports. But did you know it’s the one thing that causes me to be completely discriminatory and bitchy? Oh yeah. When I receive comments such as, “Gee, you and my husband would get along famously because I just don’t get the whole sports thing!” I don’t laugh and shrug my shoulders. I yell profanities at my computer and make fun of you for at least 5 minutes with my husband.

But really, I’m a nice girl! Don’t leave! You’re leaving aren’t you? Well, fuck you. I mean, I like your hair! It’s the pregnancy hormones, I swear!

Back to my point- I can feel it. The anticipation building in my stomach for the past few days (whoorlito, is that you?). And in less than 5 hours, I will have my beloved NCAA tourney bracket to study and covet for the next month. I would frame it, like the amazing work of art it is, but no golden-gilded frame could do it justice. March Madness is immeasurably wonderful in my book. The close games, the overtime, the school spirit, I love it all. Even Dick Vitale’s enthusiastic voice makes a regular appearance in my dreams. This is in contrast to the dream I had last night in which my co-worker sold me into white slavery. We clearly need to have a “chat” when I see him next week. Ahem.

It really is no wonder that my closest girlfriends love college basketball and sports in general. I don’t think I could carry on conversations with people during March that didn’t include statements like “Did you see the winning three-point shot last night? DAMN!” These ladies are crucial to my sanity considering I live in Southern California, the land of non-sports fans. Case in Point- a certain anonymous person with the initials SAJ* (oops, is that too much information?) made an unannounced visit to my home during the Super Bowl. The SUPER BOWL, people. That is utter blasphemy where I come from, but hey, it’s Southern California. It’s all about oceans and beaches and natural beauty. The Super Bowl? What’s that?

It’s hard to describe my feelings regarding the differences between sports fans and non-sports fans. I guess it rivals the whole Mac/PC issue- we can all live in harmony, but do we really understand each other? I think not. I’ve attempted to determine the major reasons why people gravitate towards sports, and have come up with my foolproof checklist. If all three describe you and you still hate sports, you are an alien mutation (and I would like to know what “major university” you attended).

1) Grew up in the South
2) Raised by sports fans
3) Attended a major university with a good sports program

Now that I have effectively alienated 80% of my readers, I feel comfortable enjoying the rest my Sunday. It’s time for the Duke/Boston College ACC Championship followed by my Alma Mater and Texas fighting it out in the Big 12 Championship. Go Jayhawks!

*SAJ- I forgive you only because you were raised in California and I got to see Baby Bug. ;)

**I would like to point out for the record; I am in no way a tomboy. I could literally talk about lip gloss for hours- right, Stacy? It IS possible to love purses, cosmetics, shoes AND sports.

  1. lini

    March 12, 2006 at 10:45 am

    I am just curious, were you raised by sports fans or a sports fan? Bishop neither reads the sports page or listens to sports animal religiously. Just curious.

  2. whoorl

    March 12, 2006 at 10:48 am

    Yes, good point. Technically, I would say that both of you are sports fans b/c Bishop watches sports and took us to sporting events as children.

    However, that being said, we both know who the true sports fan is.

    I bow down to you, mom.

  3. whoorl

    March 12, 2006 at 12:30 pm

    yes, but did you grow up in the south? if so, you have disproved my theory.

    i still love ya too, but i am yelling profanities at the screen. ;)

  4. reluctant housewife

    March 12, 2006 at 12:26 pm

    I’m not a sports fan, but I still love ya.

    I went to the University of Miami and UVa. I live in Boston, a city with the most rabid sports fans anywhere.

    The locals think that I am some sort of mutant. I guess you do too!

    Go alien mutants!

  5. SAJ

    March 12, 2006 at 9:34 pm

    phew! I thought maybe I might have to go into hiding for the next month or so…

  6. gorillabuns

    March 13, 2006 at 6:25 am

    yeah!! i’m going to study and make my list, checking it twice…..not that i know what the hell is going on!

  7. Jessie

    March 13, 2006 at 6:49 am

    I’m a semi-big sports fan. I love college sports (I’ll watch them on television and would kill for tickets to any game by my team – GO SPARTANS!) but an just luke-warm about professional sports. So I guess I fit into that “attended a major university with a good sports program”. I was at MSU when we won tournament and have been a huge college sports fan ever since.

  8. Jessie

    March 13, 2006 at 6:50 am

    p.s. I printed out my bracket this morning and plan to spend more time filling it out today than actually working. It’s way more fun and important anyway.

  9. Darla

    March 13, 2006 at 9:34 am

    It’s March Madness baby! After a weekend of basketball tournaments and watching “Selection Sunday”, I am studying my brackets, too. Love college basketball; pros, not so much. Actually my husband got me interested when we got married 19 years ago. Now we live & breathe for Jayhawk basketball!

  10. Jurgen Nation

    March 13, 2006 at 4:55 pm

    Do you know that our makeup discussion was the highlight of my weekend, second ONLY to actually spending $200 on Laura Mercier and Chanel?? Do you? Well, you should. And now you do.

    Sorry. My stomach hurts and I’m a bit emotional about it.