How Do New Moms Find Time To Blog?

Seriously. And how are they so damn witty? I can’t seem to find the time to sit and write, and even if I did, my brain is the equivalent of rice pudding.

And I really want to tell you about the funny (funny-peculiar, not funny-haha) things I’ve been doing lately. Like when I thought it would be fun to read a book to Whoorlito, stuck a big colorful page right in his face, and experienced my baby’s first scared-out-of-his-mind freak out.

Note to self- do NOT stick big colorful busy objects in infant’s face. It apparently is very disturbing to infant.

Y’all. A nine-pound being is running my life. I can’t even go to the bathroom without wondering if he is going to fuss while I’m peeing. And he’s not even that fussy! He’s just got a wicked internal radar that alerts him when I start to leave the room. It never fails.

My mother left this morning after helping me for a week and a half. It was so fabulous and helpful and I’m so sad she’s gone because today it’s just me and the super pooper.

SHIT…he DOES have internal radar super powers! Everytime I start writing an entry he wakes up from his nap. Is he emitting a hunger fuss/grunt or is he relieving himself of some mustard custard (thanks Caroline)? Who knows…it’s all a crapshoot around here. Literally.

Wait, he’s back to sleep. Okay, now he’s smiling. Crying now. Face is turning very red. Furrowing his brows. Annnndddd, back to sleep.

What the fuck.

All in all, how could you be mad at this sweet thing?


  1. ms. sizzle

    August 29, 2006 at 7:40 am

    you can’t be mad. the times when they are all peaceful and sleeping make up for any fuss.

    this said by a woman who is not yet a mother. :)

  2. Kim

    August 29, 2006 at 9:12 am

    Oh my god, you say it so well!

  3. lini

    August 29, 2006 at 11:10 am

    He is soooooo precious and I miss him every minute.

  4. Ceece

    August 29, 2006 at 11:33 am

    gah, it’s a good thing, I’m currently knocked up otherwise I would have run right out and tried after seeing the sleeping picture!

  5. Sarcomical

    August 29, 2006 at 12:14 pm

    awww…look at the wee widdle whoorlito.


  6. LVGurl

    August 29, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    Ugh! He’s way too cute for his own good! Look at those clasped little hands! I love it!

  7. undercover celebrity

    August 29, 2006 at 11:38 am

    I am LOVING these pics. Do you take them? Serious talent!

  8. Darren

    August 29, 2006 at 11:41 am

    Oh, this is why I’ll never have children. The blog comes first!

    God, he’s so sweet looking, though!

  9. kris

    August 29, 2006 at 7:17 pm

    I’m convinced that the only new moms who have “time to write” are those that were prolific on bedrest; during that time they doubled up daily and are now publishing entries from their e-stashes . . .

  10. Jennifer

    August 30, 2006 at 12:34 am

    Those teeny hands, *sigh* I don’t even remember time to eat, let alone time to blog in the first few weeks. Pictures are worth a thousand words, just keep posting pics of your sweet boy!

  11. Debbie

    August 30, 2006 at 11:55 am

    And welcome to the world of motherhood. Rice pudding? Really? Having a good day then?

    I remember after having my first being totally shell-shocked about the utter and complete CHANGE wrought in my life by someone so small. They are designed to ensure all brain-power gets used on them, then when you are about to adopt them out their internal radar starts pinging and they either goto sleep (lulling you into a false sense of security) or else they do something ‘cute’.

    You will never be the same again. Consider this imposter a one-foot gangsta. You his bitch now.

  12. Debbie

    August 30, 2006 at 11:59 am

    OH PS if napping becomes an ‘issue’ then there are some great products ‘out there’ like THIS which ‘soothe’ the baby and ‘lull’ the darling back to sleep. I swear I would have smothered my second child if I hadn’t found one of these.

    I need to get out more.

  13. Jenn

    August 30, 2006 at 11:50 pm

    Well, hmmmmmm, yea. Sure, it gets better. I so remember those days, and feeling WTF. It does get better, but the “well, hmmmmm, yea” will continue.

    That said, he’s precious! (O.K., it does get easier! :)

  14. halloweenlover

    August 31, 2006 at 6:06 am

    Beautiful beautiful boy! Congratulations again! He is a doll!

  15. rebecca

    August 31, 2006 at 8:48 am

    My answer? A baby swing! It’s like crack for the little guys. But in a good way.