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Hold Me Closer, Reverse Mullet

usmagazine.com

I try to keep things on the non-snarky side around here, but OH MY GOD when I read this quote from Kate Gosselin in Entertainment Weekly, I died. Dead.

Everybody wants it. It’s work. I have very, very thick hair, so it’s not going to work for everybody. I’ve seen people come through the book line with thin hair and it’s just won’t work. My hair stylist gets calls from all across the country.

Everybody wants it? EVERYBODY WANTS IT? No no no, I do not want it. YOU SHOULD NOT WANT IT.

People, I urge you. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS HAIRCUT. To put it simply, it makes the baby jesus cry, kills kittens, you know the drill.

US Weekly has the best photo gallery ever of what celebrities would look like with Gosselin’s hair. It pretty much made my day.

Feel like you can withstand more of the reverse mullet? Check out more photos here.

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46 comments
  1. Green is the New Dots

    June 3, 2009 at 7:51 am

    “My hair stylist gets calls from all across the country.” …from the American Cosmetology Institute’s license revocation departments.

    love this post. LOVE.

  2. Mir

    June 3, 2009 at 8:03 am

    But when I last saw her smirky face flash past during a TLC commercial, it was even worse than this photo, because she was sporting what I assume was meant to be “chunky lowlights” but was, in fact, brown stripes. STRIPES, people. Just when you thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse.

    Mullets were “business in the front, party in the back,” right? Kate’s hair is trailer in the front, bedhead in the back. Yech.

  3. Groovymarlin

    June 3, 2009 at 8:04 am

    I’m not crazy about it. A mullet in reverse is still a mullet, and I’m of the opinion you go long or you go short, you don’t try to do BOTH on the SAME HEAD. What she’s done here is take the Posh hairstyle (the one she was rocking before her current pixie) and perverted it by adding the choppy “butch” part in the back. It’s quite wrong on many, many levels.

    Although if you squint at her and ignore the weird rooster-y bit sticking up on the crown, the rest of it looks perfectly fine on her.

  4. Jamie

    June 3, 2009 at 8:05 am

    Am I the only one that finds it depressing that Angelina Jolie STILL LOOKS GOOD, even with the horrendous hair?! That woman! She would look beautiful in a burlap sack.

  5. Mandee

    June 3, 2009 at 8:07 am

    We have a code phrase to use when seeing train wrecks like that in person: She obviously has no roommate. (Because if she did, the roommate would have TOLD her she looks like a buffoon) That’s all I can think when I see her.

    Best post all week. If not ever.

  6. Lauri

    June 3, 2009 at 8:11 am

    I hate it with a white hot passion… she has two different cuts going on and wtf is her stylist thinking??? I don’t know what bugs me more.. the spiky shit in the back or the thick curtain of hair in the front that she keeps attempting to tuck. She needs to go total pixie or grow it into a chic chin length bob.

    She is pretty…. one day she will look back and think.. what was I thinking?

  7. sizzle

    June 3, 2009 at 8:31 am

    The Gwyneth one is my personal fave.

  8. Isabel

    June 3, 2009 at 8:44 am

    notice that there is no mention of the sylists actual name or contact info? THAT IS BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT WANT HER NAME ASSOCIATED WITH THIS STYLE.

  9. Susan

    June 3, 2009 at 9:05 am

    My favorite description of that ‘do is the “angry porcupine” (hat tip to ParentDish’s Amy Hatch).

    I think TLC should sic Nick Arrojo on her.

  10. Carolyn

    June 3, 2009 at 9:41 am

    Okay, this just made my day. Its the most hideous hairstyle I have ever seen.

  11. sarah

    June 3, 2009 at 10:10 am

    i thought i was the only one that thought that her haircut was just horrible. reverse mullet, that is totally what it is, too funny

  12. Alicia

    June 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

    Awwww… she’s almost cute when she’s totally deluded. Cute in that “I’m going to vomit up my internal organs” kind of way.

  13. kate

    June 3, 2009 at 11:55 am

    Ha! I was going to do a “celebrity” post about this hair, but it is just SO. BAD. that I figured we would just all agree…and that’s no fun!

    It is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous hair I have ever seen. Oh wait…phil spector…

  14. amy

    June 3, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    YOU are ridiculously funny, Whoorl. I laughed out loud in front of strangers at this post.

  15. lucy

    June 3, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    When you have 8 kids, I think you become delusional.