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Hi there

So I’m not sure how to jump into this post, but here goes. As some of you know, 2013 has been a really challenging year for me. However, in true Whoorl fashion, I always expected to write about my struggles after the fact. You know, the way I like to do it. Solutions to problems! Positive outlooks! Well, it’s taking a lot longer than I expected.

On the bright side, I made it 38 years before dealing with a 1-2-3 punch of insomnia, anxiety and resulting depression. Flip side? Man, things have been bleak around here. I’m certainly not feeling like myself and composing blog posts about concealer is not on my to-do list. In fact, I have no to-do lists. (See? I told you I’m not myself.)

I am so thankful to have a loving, supportive family and healthcare professionals that are my advocates and helping me through these unchartered waters. Although some days feel incredibly hopeless, I know brighter days are in my future. (They have to be, right?)

One of my very favorite quotes by Coach John Wooden seems to be apropos at the moment.

“When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur…not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually a big gain is made. Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens–and when it happens it lasts.”

Perhaps you are going through something too. If so, please know that you are not alone, and that I am sending love and light your way. Big time.

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67 Comments
  • Dana

    September 29, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    Long time reader, first time commenter.

    Thank you for sharing your struggles. I always find honest and real posts more inspiring than any post on the best concealer. This time last year I was experiencing similar issues. You are right. It will get better, slowly. It takes time, support and lots of love for yourself.

    Take care of you. We’ll be here when you’re ready. xo

  • Monica James

    September 29, 2013 at 10:16 pm

    Really proud of you.

  • Jill V.

    September 30, 2013 at 7:55 am

    Hey there, xo and thinking of you!

  • Aura

    September 30, 2013 at 9:02 am

    oh, i can so relate, lady. sometimes that’s the most helpful thing for me, too… just knowing that others are having these kinds of hard times and struggles, and that it’s often an absolutely understandable response to our lives and our world, and our often times wacked-out health.
    having a serious health scare at 34, with subsequent major abdominal surgery and recovery, has really opened my eyes to the impact our physical health, or lack thereof, can have on our mental state. it is no joke.
    i got help, went on meds, lived in a fog for a good while. it’s better now, but i get that whatever comes next is unpredictable and unknowable. you just never know, and i’m attempting to get comfortable there…
    wishing you lots of sleep and peace!

  • Luisa

    September 30, 2013 at 9:18 am

    Your blog is such a bright spot of happiness on this big wide internet – I’m so sorry to hear how much you’ve been struggling. I hope you feel better ever so soon. xoxo

  • jrm

    September 30, 2013 at 9:59 am

    As a veteran of the triple punch, I will be brief and say rest (I know, easier said then done), take care of yourself and hang in there. Like really hang in there. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  • Mary Sue

    September 30, 2013 at 11:22 am

    Hey Sarah – I don’t have any advice for you. Everyone always thinks they have the “key” to fix people, but it doesn’t always work that way. I hope you can remind yourself that it won’t always be this way. Things will get better. I did hear an interesting stress study recently: they found that people who acknowledged the stress and the effects it had on their body had less negative health impacts from the stress. I always spend a lot of time beating myself up about stress and anxiety, thinking I am in some way “doing it wrong” (where it=life). I have been trying to recognize my anxiety and accept it instead of judging it. So far, I haven’t been very successful, but it’s a nice thought! ;)

    Hugs.

  • Cat

    September 30, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Good for you! I have experienced a little of what you’re talking about. I thought it was interesting to learn it’s pretty typical for us type-A-ers. Thank goodness we live in the age of addressing these things:) Best of luck. In my experience, there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel (and not to sound too new-age, but I found cleansing – Dr. Jungers – really helped a shocking amount and finally ended my year of anxiety paralysis after Paxil, Doctors, workouts, etc). Good for you for dealing with this:)

  • stacey

    September 30, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    I just recently found your blog (hi fellow OCer!) I think its so brave for you to put your struggles out there. Best wishes in your journey to find inner peace.

  • Lisa H.

    September 30, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    I’m sorry you are going through a rough patch. I don’t know if anyone mentioned this yet, but I had very similar symptoms and started taking a Magnesium supplement. I won’t lie and say it fixed everything, but it definitely helped stop my heart palpitations and some of my anxiousness. Just google it and you’ll find all kinds of info. Good luck to you!

  • Lisa M.

    September 30, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    Sending you hugs! The past year was a tough one for me as well. Sometimes you take one step forward only to take two steps back… but you just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually you leave all that tough stuff behind. Let us know if there is anything we can do!

  • Jen Campisano

    October 1, 2013 at 12:40 am

    Hang in there. My wise sister-in-law once said to me (about parenting) that if you remember to breathe, you can get through most any moment, and soon those moments add up, so that suddenly you’ve made it through whatever hardship you didn’t think was possible. So often, I apply that to living with cancer. And then I take Xanax and/or Unisom to help me sleep. As you know, the anxiety/insomnia/depression cycle can feed itself and be hard to break. Get some rest, recharge your batteries, and we’ll all be here when you do feel like posting about concealers again.

  • Kala

    October 1, 2013 at 11:53 am

    Hi Sarah,

    I am so sorry to hear you are going through this!

    I had a similar experience that began this time last year, when I was 40. It took me months to figure out why I was experiencing anxiety, especially at night when I put my head on the pillow. I was also experiencing a sore back and PMS(depression) and would spend my days worrying about something happening to me or my children. I had never had any of these symptoms before turning 40. It became worse after I took a round of antibiotics (Cipro). My regular doctors were trying to put me on anti-anxiety meds, but I am a health nut and didn’t want to take them. I really wanted to find the root cause. I discovered my hormones were way off and began taking bio-identical progesterone (the calming hormone) and testosterone. It has taken me many months to get all my hormones to their optimal level, not just within range, but optimal. I feel so much better and still have a little ways to go! On the nights that I feel even a twinge of anxiety, I take Calms Forte which is an all natural sleep aid with chamomile. I chew 2 to 3 tablets 30 minutes before bedtime.

    I am confident you will get through this!

    xox

  • Sally

    October 1, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    Whoorl,

    Thank you for being willing to share your story. It is a brave and powerful choice.

    Sally

  • Rosa

    October 1, 2013 at 11:52 pm

    I so needed that quote. Thank you.

    Definitely not alone.

    x